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Roasty Toasty Ghosty
Roasty Toasty Ghosty — The comedy class no one asked for, and everyone needs.
Each week, Lauren and Mattias “teach” you something completely useless — from fake history lessons and chaotic crash courses to games, quizzes, and whatever else their sleep-deprived brains come up with. Think educational chaos… but make it funny.
Roasty Toasty Ghosty
[Outtakes] #93
This episode is only available to subscribers.
Roasty Toasty Ghosties
Support the show & get subscriber-only content.Ever wondered why your favorite pants always seem to get holes in the most awkward places? Join us for a side-splitting episode where we tackle this everyday conundrum and take a detour into a bizarrely funny tale involving a literal hole in a leg and a tiny stick. From there, we pivot to the hairy subject of facial hair growth, complete with whimsical sound effects and a surprising haircut revelation. This six-minute segment is a whirlwind of humor and quick-witted banter that will leave you laughing out loud.
Struggling to find the right words in a conversation? We’ve got you covered! Our second chapter dives into the quirks and challenges of keeping a chat lively, while also sharing our personal battles with maintaining a fitness routine. We highlight the perks of strength training, the grind of cardio, and the art of staying motivated amidst life's chaos. To wrap it all up, we mix in some hilarious teasing, gratitude, and a touch of miscommunication that promises to keep the smiles coming. Don't miss this rollercoaster of light-hearted moments and personal reflections.
Don't miss this heartwarming and funny episode of Roasty Toasty Ghosty - and be sure to follow and subscribe to our podcast and join us on Instagram. Trust us, you'll want to be part of our crazy journey as we navigate life's ups and downs together.
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Beginning music - Energetic Prog Rock from AdobeStock
Intermission & ending music - Marshmallow Overload by Avocado Junkie
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Neither hosts are scientists or historians and all content displayed is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Simply put, not a single word spoken in this podcast is or should be taken seriously.
No ghosties were harmed in the making of this podcast.
Hello.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1I um. I have a hole in my pants.
Speaker 2Okay, I have several holes in my pants.
Speaker 1I'm not talking about pockets.
Speaker 2Okay, You're talking about the holes that you get into your pants and you know, no, no.
Speaker 1Okay, so Not holes that were meant to be Okay On the pants Pants.
Speaker 2Pants, pants.
Speaker 1Pants, pants, pants.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's not good.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2I have holes in most of my clothing.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's always like right here, between my legs, yeah, or in my legs clothing yeah, it's always like right here between my legs, yeah, or in my legs, really.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Inside of my legs.
Speaker 2You have a hole in your leg.
Speaker 1I do, but it's not part of my pants. No, that's a different hole.
Speaker 2It would have been fun if you had a hole just where you had that hole.
Speaker 1So people could see Right through. Yeah, and there's a hole in where you had that hole, so people could see right through. Yeah, there's a hole in my leg and then people would be like what is that on your leg? I'd be like it's a hole yeah, and then I'd have people trying to penetrate the hole in my leg all the time, and then I'd be getting nothing done no, true how annoying would that People just kept coming up to me with like yeah, I don't know With like this and sticking it into.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1The leg in my hole.
Speaker 2Yeah, the leg in your hole. Okay, that sounded weird.
Speaker 1The leg in my hole.
Speaker 2Okay, yeah, you kept that thing.
Speaker 1I still have it.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, you remember what this is. Yes, should we test it I have nightmares about it, nightmares about the tiny stick.
Speaker 2You can test it on your hole in your leg.
Speaker 1Okay, do you want to put it in the hole in my leg?
Speaker 2You can do it.
Speaker 1Do you want me to do it?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Should I do it now?
Speaker 2If you want to.
Speaker 1Okay, it's not clean, so we'll see. I need your leg as assistance.
Speaker 2Okay, okay, this is great.
Speaker 1Here's the hole in my leg.
Speaker 2Great, great podcast.
Speaker 1It's gone now, so I can't really do anything.
Speaker 2It went down the hole. The hole is deeper than we thought. Does it hurt?
Speaker 1Not really.
Speaker 2It looks like a real thick hair.
Speaker 1Yeah, I have this one really thick hair. Ew, I didn't get it that far in, just that far. That much, yeah, and that was a demonstration of the hole in my leg.
Speaker 2Yeah, great content.
Speaker 1Yeah Well, this isn't making it anyway, so whatever.
Speaker 2No, I know, is that a helicopter?
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, that's oh God. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2You're sticking things into your leg hole and I do sound effects.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's.
Speaker 1Very fun.
Speaker 2Yep New segments.
Speaker 1Yeah, guess what I'm doing and what is the sound.
Speaker 2Yeah, hmm, what are you looking at, can?
Speaker 1I address you.
Speaker 2Sure.
Speaker 1Okay. Oh, it looked like you were going to eat your mustache, oh okay. Which tells me that it's about time to fix your head. Yeah, mm, I feel like it came back a lot quicker this time yeah at least the facial part sorry what has it been a month?
Speaker 2yeah, right and you already have that much I guess I mean this is where people, normal men, grow in like half a day.
Speaker 1Oh, really you think so?
Speaker 2Maybe not, but it feels like I'm a very slow beard grower.
Speaker 1Yeah, but it's like your head hair, like on top of your head, feels like it's going a lot slower than your facial hair.
Speaker 2It feels like it's going a lot slower than your facial hair.
Speaker 1Yeah well, it depends on the part, because on some parts it doesn't grow at all. Yeah, well, I mean it does grow. It's just very thin and it has a limit to how long it gets.
Speaker 2Yeah, I guess, but I mean, some of them don't grow at all.
Speaker 1Mm yeah.
Speaker 2That's how it is.
Speaker 1Yeah, I guess. So yeah, what.
Speaker 2Nothing you want to leave, yeah All right.
Speaker 1Would you like to wrap this up? Yep, okay, well, that was that episode, goodbye. Yeah, very, got it done in six minutes.
Speaker 2Good job.
Speaker 1Quickest one so far.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean. I've got 30 seconds that I can use and stretch that out to 40 minutes.
Speaker 1Yeah, okay.
Casual Conversations and Gym Routine
Speaker 2Yeah, 40 minutes. Um, yeah, Okay Uh yeah, yeah, okay, uh, I that's. That's always um, um. My problem to like come up with subjects to talk about.
Speaker 1It's the same at work.
Speaker 2Is that you?
Speaker 1That's my line, right, is that you?
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1Because it kind of felt like it was coming from me. It happened and I was like is that no? No, Because it kind of felt like it was coming from me.
Speaker 2It like happened. I was like is that? No, I felt it, and the thing is I didn't want to stop it, I wanted it to finish. You know, uh-huh yeah.
Speaker 1You wanted to get it out.
Speaker 2Yeah, all right, it sounded funny.
Speaker 1It did Anything else.
Speaker 2No, that was my line. That was it. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1I like the attempted reenactment.
Speaker 2Yeah, matias, yes, um, matias, yes, um, um. Oh my gosh, I've cut some of those out.
Speaker 1Did I say some of those, I meant so many of those yeah, some I've cut some of those out.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1I've cut so many.
Speaker 2Are we teenagers? Maybe Maybe Maybe I do that a lot yeah.
Speaker 1And then you hold out like a vowel, Like I don't know I didn't have an actual word. No, Maybe not just vowels like any letter. It'd be like I don't know you do that.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Sometimes I shorten those too. Okay, no, I never do that, no, I didn't think so, but I do because I don't know. While I'm editing, I forget what you're talking about when you do that.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Anyway, you're good I am You're good.
Speaker 2That's what I said.
Speaker 1I'm also good, I think let's see.
Speaker 2I caught myself, I started doing that, and then I'm yeah of course I should extend it a little bit maybe let's see sir what happened?
Speaker 1what did happen?
Speaker 2so yeah, now I'm gonna notice all of those. What did happen? So yeah, now I'm going to notice all of those.
Speaker 1Yeah, you should. Maybe you'll break the habit.
Speaker 2Probably not.
Speaker 1Well, we'll see it's worth a try.
Speaker 2I would like to be good at the gym tomorrow too.
Speaker 1That would be good. I do need to do good at the gym tomorrow too.
Speaker 2That would be good.
Speaker 1I do need to do muscle training. Okay, it would be nice if you join me.
Speaker 2But I guess you don't have to.
Speaker 1I can join you in my special way. You know that strength training is good for your metabolism. Do you know what the metabolism does? Yes, okay.
Speaker 2It's painful, yes, but did you also know that strength training builds your muscles?
Speaker 1Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2That adds weight.
Speaker 1Yeah, but with better metabolism the fat burns faster.
Speaker 2Yes, that is true, but the muscle adds weight. Muscles adds weight.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And did you know that muscles weigh more than fat?
Speaker 1Yeah, so are you judging me for trying to do strength training?
Speaker 2No, I'm just saying that I'm not interested in strength training right now. Okay, but I will attend and be there.
Speaker 1What did?
Speaker 2we do, we ran and we did the rowing. Yes.
Speaker 1And what Just stretching?
Speaker 2Yeah, I think so yeah.
Speaker 1I guess that's okay.
Speaker 2But the running was really good though.
Speaker 1Yeah, maybe we should do that again. Maybe, I've been doing the thing.
Speaker 2Pull-ups. No, no the machine where you pull down, the thing Pull-downs.
Speaker 1Yeah, pull-downs, yeah, I've been doing a lot of pulling down.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1And well, not a lot, but I did that.
Speaker 2You pulled all the machines down.
Speaker 1Yeah, I just knocked them over. Yeah, like I'm done with this one. Next, there was a time when we went through like all of the machines, though yeah anyway, um what did we do on sunday? I don't know um, oh yeah, um friday I went into work. What? No I did you have something?
Speaker 2else? No, it was on. Uh, what did you say about friday, or um? But it could also be, like you know, the mouth sore thing. I don't even know what that's called we'll see how you feel in the morning yeah, but the plan is to have the movie day and have the live Mad Libs.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2Right now I feel like I should be able to attend that and the gym.
Speaker 1Right. Maybe, what day was? Monday, the second.
Speaker 2Yeah, oh yeah, we had a guy come back to work that was fun to see you were 107 on the 2nd. Yeah, but I gained like 0.5 during the weekend, I think.
Speaker 1But compared to Monday, was that you Okay?
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, I don't know about that.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2Because I'm not doing what you're doing, like updating whatever you update.
Speaker 1Right, you update me though.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Can I just see, if I can find, yeah, what day are we looking at? The 6th? I'm not even sure if you were updating me every day at this point, though. No, probably not.
Speaker 2No, I think before I just said, I lost 0.3 today.
Speaker 1And then I was losing track so I was like I need actual numbers. Yeah, oh, a month ago you had the headache at the gym.
Speaker 2Oh, okay.
Speaker 1On the 7th, though, which is almost a month ago, you were 109.5.
Speaker 2Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1That's like about three right, yeah. No, that's good.
Speaker 2You're doing it the healthy way.
Speaker 1I am not.
Speaker 2I'm not doing it the healthy way, believe me.
Speaker 1You're still okay.
Speaker 2Okay, you're still doing good.
Speaker 1You just have to trust me. Okay, okay, okay, should we have a talk?
Speaker 2that's that face tells me it's not gonna be a very serious talk.
Speaker 1No, not very serious. Well, maybe kinda serious. I mean, everything's so uncertain yeah, wait a minute.
Speaker 2Felt like I was gonna say something, but I don't remember. Now, okay, let's have the talk. It depends on who you're asking.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2I'm talking about us like made calculations, about you know from where, at you know a point in time from where they can start firing people.
Speaker 1Uh-huh.
Speaker 2And according to those calculations and you have to take this with a bunch of salt- yeah, like the whole container. Yes, Okay, it should be somewhere for the people starting in 2016.
Speaker 1Uh-huh.
Speaker 2So that's, very.
Speaker 1That's like on the edge there, yeah.
Speaker 2So, who knows? And like I said this you, can't really trust. Trust, no, and you can hope that people are going to turn it down Some of the older people that worked there for a long time.
Speaker 1Or people who have already started looking for jobs and found something. Yeah.
Speaker 2But we really need the people that has been working there for a long time to yeah To go. To go first.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, and All right. What?
Speaker 2All right.
Speaker 1All right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2Uh, good movie.
Speaker 1It was a really good movie. Uh, what did we watch? We watched um, was that me?
Speaker 2That was me.
Speaker 1Okay, ah Uh.
Speaker 2Did you crap your pants?
Speaker 1No, no, I was starting to die, and then I came back.
Speaker 2Okay, good job.
Speaker 1Thank you so.
Speaker 2I guess yeah, I guess yeah. And did you have more to say about this movie? No, no. Sorry, that was my bag. Clint Eastwood's brother died, but Huh what what? Clint Eastwood's brother died, his character's brother he dies. Yeah, he does, yeah he dies. Oh, so you heard what I said. It was just.
Speaker 1I was just hoping that you would catch yourself and fix it, and you did Good job.
Speaker 2Okay, clint Eastwood's brother is dead now and Lee Marvin saves Clint Eastwood, who is not dead now. What else happens? Yes, what else happens yes, and and yeah.
Speaker 1Tomorrow.
Speaker 2What you talk? What?
Speaker 1What Are you going to talk to me with that tone of voice? Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2I may or may not be there, but hopefully.
Speaker 1You are going to be there, whether you're sick or not.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Do you understand?
Speaker 2Mm-hmm. Okay, but you know that sick people are boring.
Speaker 1That's why you're going to be there, okay.
Speaker 2But you know that sick people are boring. That's why you're going to be there, okay.
Speaker 1Does this one work? Could be better.
Speaker 2Wow.
Speaker 1Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2You know cursive.
Speaker 1Yeah, how about this? One Can see how long that works. Would you like to eat my nuts?
Speaker 2I can have another too.
Speaker 1Would you like two nuts?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1I need to test that Help.
Speaker 2Different size Interesting.
Speaker 1Those have been there for a while. Stop it, stop it, stop.
Speaker 2Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm not reading, no, I just ball ball and that's not what I did.
Speaker 1I didn't do that. I didn't do that. You know, when I make scribbles, they just happen to look like penises. I have to get rid of it because that's not what I did. It was Finland.
Speaker 2Okay, yep.
Speaker 1I've been there, you know.
Speaker 2In Finland.
Speaker 1I never left the boat, but I was there.
Speaker 2Where in Finland?
Speaker 1Åland.
Speaker 2Okay, I've been to Åland.
Speaker 1Did you also never leave the boat?
Speaker 2I did leave the boat for like an hour, wow, and then I went on a boat.
Speaker 1I didn't know. You could leave the boat, okay, and then go back on a boat I didn't know you could leave the boat, okay. And then go back on.
Speaker 2We could leave the boat, see a very boring place and buy some very expensive ice cream and then go back on the boat and go back home.
Speaker 1Very exciting. So you have been on a cruise before, yeah, hmm.
Speaker 2But that was just like over the day.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm, I didn't know that. Okay, when was that?
Speaker 220 years ago maybe.
Speaker 1Okay, okay, okay um. Are you also gonna draw a penis?
Speaker 2I'm drawing a vagina okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1I thought you were going to no okay, okay, plural, noun Okay Okay.
Speaker 2Plural noun Vita no.
Speaker 1That's what's in front of me you know Fi as in vita. Okay, okay, okay. No Vagina, okay, no, that's not a okay, no, vagina, okay, no, that's not a verb, no Verb.
Speaker 2To vagina Stop vagina.
Speaker 1Stop vagina-ing me yeah.
Speaker 2No, no, really.
Speaker 1Did you?
Speaker 2say no?
Speaker 1What Did you say no? What Did you say no?
Teasing and Laughter
Speaker 2I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1Okay, but I I'm going to see the picture and I'm going to laugh, okay.
Speaker 2What picture.
Speaker 1What was it? Adjective.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1Okay, hi, um, what, what are you doing? You have nuts in your mouth.
Speaker 2Nuts in my teeth.
Speaker 1Okay, a part of the body. Yeah, the nuts in your teeth.
Speaker 2Yep.
Speaker 1How about just?
Speaker 2Again. Really, what? Really Again Are you?
Speaker 1cramping. Yeah, yeah Again, I it Really.
Speaker 2Again.
Speaker 1Are you cramping? Yeah, yeah Again I. It's been a while.
Speaker 2I haven't done that today.
Speaker 1Not today, but before. Okay, well, thank you, that was really nice of you.
Speaker 2Are you laughing yet?
Speaker 1No, there's nothing funny here.
Speaker 2No, nothing. No, Did you like the picture?
Speaker 1Yeah, I said it was very nice. Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2Did you see me?
Speaker 1I see that. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2I think we have to finish this.
Speaker 1I'm glad you're there, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm also mad at you for not being there you're welcome you're gonna be there. I don't care how you're feeling. You're going to be there.
Speaker 2That's the best way to end it Okay.
Speaker 1Just music, yeah, blah.
