Roasty Toasty Ghosty

[Outtakes] #93

Subscriber Episode Lauren & Mattias Episode 93

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Ever wondered why your favorite pants always seem to get holes in the most awkward places? Join us for a side-splitting episode where we tackle this everyday conundrum and take a detour into a bizarrely funny tale involving a literal hole in a leg and a tiny stick. From there, we pivot to the hairy subject of facial hair growth, complete with whimsical sound effects and a surprising haircut revelation. This six-minute segment is a whirlwind of humor and quick-witted banter that will leave you laughing out loud.

Struggling to find the right words in a conversation? We’ve got you covered! Our second chapter dives into the quirks and challenges of keeping a chat lively, while also sharing our personal battles with maintaining a fitness routine. We highlight the perks of strength training, the grind of cardio, and the art of staying motivated amidst life's chaos. To wrap it all up, we mix in some hilarious teasing, gratitude, and a touch of miscommunication that promises to keep the smiles coming. Don't miss this rollercoaster of light-hearted moments and personal reflections.

Don't miss this heartwarming and funny episode of Roasty Toasty Ghosty - and be sure to follow and subscribe to our podcast and join us on Instagram. Trust us, you'll want to be part of our crazy journey as we navigate life's ups and downs together.

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Beginning music - Energetic Prog Rock from AdobeStock
Intermission & ending music - Marshmallow Overload by Avocado Junkie

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Neither hosts are scientists or historians and all content displayed is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Simply put, not a single word spoken in this podcast is or should be taken seriously.

No ghosties were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Speaker 1:

Hello.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

I um. I have a hole in my pants.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I have several holes in my pants.

Speaker 1:

I'm not talking about pockets.

Speaker 2:

Okay, You're talking about the holes that you get into your pants and you know, no, no.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so Not holes that were meant to be Okay On the pants Pants.

Speaker 2:

Pants, pants.

Speaker 1:

Pants, pants, pants.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's not good.

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 2:

I have holes in most of my clothing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's always like right here, between my legs, yeah, or in my legs clothing yeah, it's always like right here between my legs, yeah, or in my legs, really.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Inside of my legs.

Speaker 2:

You have a hole in your leg.

Speaker 1:

I do, but it's not part of my pants. No, that's a different hole.

Speaker 2:

It would have been fun if you had a hole just where you had that hole.

Speaker 1:

So people could see Right through. Yeah, and there's a hole in where you had that hole, so people could see right through. Yeah, there's a hole in my leg and then people would be like what is that on your leg? I'd be like it's a hole yeah, and then I'd have people trying to penetrate the hole in my leg all the time, and then I'd be getting nothing done no, true how annoying would that People just kept coming up to me with like yeah, I don't know With like this and sticking it into.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

The leg in my hole.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the leg in your hole. Okay, that sounded weird.

Speaker 1:

The leg in my hole.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yeah, you kept that thing.

Speaker 1:

I still have it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you remember what this is. Yes, should we test it I have nightmares about it, nightmares about the tiny stick.

Speaker 2:

You can test it on your hole in your leg.

Speaker 1:

Okay, do you want to put it in the hole in my leg?

Speaker 2:

You can do it.

Speaker 1:

Do you want me to do it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Should I do it now?

Speaker 2:

If you want to.

Speaker 1:

Okay, it's not clean, so we'll see. I need your leg as assistance.

Speaker 2:

Okay, okay, this is great.

Speaker 1:

Here's the hole in my leg.

Speaker 2:

Great, great podcast.

Speaker 1:

It's gone now, so I can't really do anything.

Speaker 2:

It went down the hole. The hole is deeper than we thought. Does it hurt?

Speaker 1:

Not really.

Speaker 2:

It looks like a real thick hair.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I have this one really thick hair. Ew, I didn't get it that far in, just that far. That much, yeah, and that was a demonstration of the hole in my leg.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, great content.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, this isn't making it anyway, so whatever.

Speaker 2:

No, I know, is that a helicopter?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, that's oh God. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

You're sticking things into your leg hole and I do sound effects.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1:

Very fun.

Speaker 2:

Yep New segments.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, guess what I'm doing and what is the sound.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, hmm, what are you looking at, can?

Speaker 1:

I address you.

Speaker 2:

Sure.

Speaker 1:

Okay. Oh, it looked like you were going to eat your mustache, oh okay. Which tells me that it's about time to fix your head. Yeah, mm, I feel like it came back a lot quicker this time yeah at least the facial part sorry what has it been a month?

Speaker 2:

yeah, right and you already have that much I guess I mean this is where people, normal men, grow in like half a day.

Speaker 1:

Oh, really you think so?

Speaker 2:

Maybe not, but it feels like I'm a very slow beard grower.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but it's like your head hair, like on top of your head, feels like it's going a lot slower than your facial hair.

Speaker 2:

It feels like it's going a lot slower than your facial hair.

Speaker 1:

Yeah well, it depends on the part, because on some parts it doesn't grow at all. Yeah, well, I mean it does grow. It's just very thin and it has a limit to how long it gets.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I guess, but I mean, some of them don't grow at all.

Speaker 1:

Mm yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's how it is.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I guess. So yeah, what.

Speaker 2:

Nothing you want to leave, yeah All right.

Speaker 1:

Would you like to wrap this up? Yep, okay, well, that was that episode, goodbye. Yeah, very, got it done in six minutes.

Speaker 2:

Good job.

Speaker 1:

Quickest one so far.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean. I've got 30 seconds that I can use and stretch that out to 40 minutes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, 40 minutes. Um, yeah, Okay Uh yeah, yeah, okay, uh, I that's. That's always um, um. My problem to like come up with subjects to talk about.

Speaker 1:

It's the same at work.

Speaker 2:

Is that you?

Speaker 1:

That's my line, right, is that you?

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

Because it kind of felt like it was coming from me. It happened and I was like is that no? No, Because it kind of felt like it was coming from me.

Speaker 2:

It like happened. I was like is that? No, I felt it, and the thing is I didn't want to stop it, I wanted it to finish. You know, uh-huh yeah.

Speaker 1:

You wanted to get it out.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, all right, it sounded funny.

Speaker 1:

It did Anything else.

Speaker 2:

No, that was my line. That was it. Yeah, all right.

Speaker 1:

I like the attempted reenactment.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, matias, yes, um, matias, yes, um, um. Oh my gosh, I've cut some of those out.

Speaker 1:

Did I say some of those, I meant so many of those yeah, some I've cut some of those out.

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

I've cut so many.

Speaker 2:

Are we teenagers? Maybe Maybe Maybe I do that a lot yeah.

Speaker 1:

And then you hold out like a vowel, Like I don't know I didn't have an actual word. No, Maybe not just vowels like any letter. It'd be like I don't know you do that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes I shorten those too. Okay, no, I never do that, no, I didn't think so, but I do because I don't know. While I'm editing, I forget what you're talking about when you do that.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, you're good I am You're good.

Speaker 2:

That's what I said.

Speaker 1:

I'm also good, I think let's see.

Speaker 2:

I caught myself, I started doing that, and then I'm yeah of course I should extend it a little bit maybe let's see sir what happened?

Speaker 1:

what did happen?

Speaker 2:

so yeah, now I'm gonna notice all of those. What did happen? So yeah, now I'm going to notice all of those.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you should. Maybe you'll break the habit.

Speaker 2:

Probably not.

Speaker 1:

Well, we'll see it's worth a try.

Speaker 2:

I would like to be good at the gym tomorrow too.

Speaker 1:

That would be good. I do need to do good at the gym tomorrow too.

Speaker 2:

That would be good.

Speaker 1:

I do need to do muscle training. Okay, it would be nice if you join me.

Speaker 2:

But I guess you don't have to.

Speaker 1:

I can join you in my special way. You know that strength training is good for your metabolism. Do you know what the metabolism does? Yes, okay.

Speaker 2:

It's painful, yes, but did you also know that strength training builds your muscles?

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

That adds weight.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but with better metabolism the fat burns faster.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that is true, but the muscle adds weight. Muscles adds weight.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And did you know that muscles weigh more than fat?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so are you judging me for trying to do strength training?

Speaker 2:

No, I'm just saying that I'm not interested in strength training right now. Okay, but I will attend and be there.

Speaker 1:

What did?

Speaker 2:

we do, we ran and we did the rowing. Yes.

Speaker 1:

And what Just stretching?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think so yeah.

Speaker 1:

I guess that's okay.

Speaker 2:

But the running was really good though.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, maybe we should do that again. Maybe, I've been doing the thing.

Speaker 2:

Pull-ups. No, no the machine where you pull down, the thing Pull-downs.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, pull-downs, yeah, I've been doing a lot of pulling down.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And well, not a lot, but I did that.

Speaker 2:

You pulled all the machines down.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I just knocked them over. Yeah, like I'm done with this one. Next, there was a time when we went through like all of the machines, though yeah anyway, um what did we do on sunday? I don't know um, oh yeah, um friday I went into work. What? No I did you have something?

Speaker 2:

else? No, it was on. Uh, what did you say about friday, or um? But it could also be, like you know, the mouth sore thing. I don't even know what that's called we'll see how you feel in the morning yeah, but the plan is to have the movie day and have the live Mad Libs.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Right now I feel like I should be able to attend that and the gym.

Speaker 1:

Right. Maybe, what day was? Monday, the second.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh yeah, we had a guy come back to work that was fun to see you were 107 on the 2nd. Yeah, but I gained like 0.5 during the weekend, I think.

Speaker 1:

But compared to Monday, was that you Okay?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I don't know about that.

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 2:

Because I'm not doing what you're doing, like updating whatever you update.

Speaker 1:

Right, you update me though.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Can I just see, if I can find, yeah, what day are we looking at? The 6th? I'm not even sure if you were updating me every day at this point, though. No, probably not.

Speaker 2:

No, I think before I just said, I lost 0.3 today.

Speaker 1:

And then I was losing track so I was like I need actual numbers. Yeah, oh, a month ago you had the headache at the gym.

Speaker 2:

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1:

On the 7th, though, which is almost a month ago, you were 109.5.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's like about three right, yeah. No, that's good.

Speaker 2:

You're doing it the healthy way.

Speaker 1:

I am not.

Speaker 2:

I'm not doing it the healthy way, believe me.

Speaker 1:

You're still okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, you're still doing good.

Speaker 1:

You just have to trust me. Okay, okay, okay, should we have a talk?

Speaker 2:

that's that face tells me it's not gonna be a very serious talk.

Speaker 1:

No, not very serious. Well, maybe kinda serious. I mean, everything's so uncertain yeah, wait a minute.

Speaker 2:

Felt like I was gonna say something, but I don't remember. Now, okay, let's have the talk. It depends on who you're asking.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

I'm talking about us like made calculations, about you know from where, at you know a point in time from where they can start firing people.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

And according to those calculations and you have to take this with a bunch of salt- yeah, like the whole container. Yes, Okay, it should be somewhere for the people starting in 2016.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

So that's, very.

Speaker 1:

That's like on the edge there, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So, who knows? And like I said this you, can't really trust. Trust, no, and you can hope that people are going to turn it down Some of the older people that worked there for a long time.

Speaker 1:

Or people who have already started looking for jobs and found something. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But we really need the people that has been working there for a long time to yeah To go. To go first.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and All right. What?

Speaker 2:

All right.

Speaker 1:

All right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Uh, good movie.

Speaker 1:

It was a really good movie. Uh, what did we watch? We watched um, was that me?

Speaker 2:

That was me.

Speaker 1:

Okay, ah Uh.

Speaker 2:

Did you crap your pants?

Speaker 1:

No, no, I was starting to die, and then I came back.

Speaker 2:

Okay, good job.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so.

Speaker 2:

I guess yeah, I guess yeah. And did you have more to say about this movie? No, no. Sorry, that was my bag. Clint Eastwood's brother died, but Huh what what? Clint Eastwood's brother died, his character's brother he dies. Yeah, he does, yeah he dies. Oh, so you heard what I said. It was just.

Speaker 1:

I was just hoping that you would catch yourself and fix it, and you did Good job.

Speaker 2:

Okay, clint Eastwood's brother is dead now and Lee Marvin saves Clint Eastwood, who is not dead now. What else happens? Yes, what else happens yes, and and yeah.

Speaker 1:

Tomorrow.

Speaker 2:

What you talk? What?

Speaker 1:

What Are you going to talk to me with that tone of voice? Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I may or may not be there, but hopefully.

Speaker 1:

You are going to be there, whether you're sick or not.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

Do you understand?

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm. Okay, but you know that sick people are boring.

Speaker 1:

That's why you're going to be there, okay.

Speaker 2:

But you know that sick people are boring. That's why you're going to be there, okay.

Speaker 1:

Does this one work? Could be better.

Speaker 2:

Wow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2:

You know cursive.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, how about this? One Can see how long that works. Would you like to eat my nuts?

Speaker 2:

I can have another too.

Speaker 1:

Would you like two nuts?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I need to test that Help.

Speaker 2:

Different size Interesting.

Speaker 1:

Those have been there for a while. Stop it, stop it, stop.

Speaker 2:

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm not reading, no, I just ball ball and that's not what I did.

Speaker 1:

I didn't do that. I didn't do that. You know, when I make scribbles, they just happen to look like penises. I have to get rid of it because that's not what I did. It was Finland.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yep.

Speaker 1:

I've been there, you know.

Speaker 2:

In Finland.

Speaker 1:

I never left the boat, but I was there.

Speaker 2:

Where in Finland?

Speaker 1:

Åland.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I've been to Åland.

Speaker 1:

Did you also never leave the boat?

Speaker 2:

I did leave the boat for like an hour, wow, and then I went on a boat.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know. You could leave the boat, okay, and then go back on a boat I didn't know you could leave the boat, okay. And then go back on.

Speaker 2:

We could leave the boat, see a very boring place and buy some very expensive ice cream and then go back on the boat and go back home.

Speaker 1:

Very exciting. So you have been on a cruise before, yeah, hmm.

Speaker 2:

But that was just like over the day.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, I didn't know that. Okay, when was that?

Speaker 2:

20 years ago maybe.

Speaker 1:

Okay, okay, okay um. Are you also gonna draw a penis?

Speaker 2:

I'm drawing a vagina okay, go ahead.

Speaker 1:

I thought you were going to no okay, okay, plural, noun Okay Okay.

Speaker 2:

Plural noun Vita no.

Speaker 1:

That's what's in front of me you know Fi as in vita. Okay, okay, okay. No Vagina, okay, no, that's not a okay, no, vagina, okay, no, that's not a verb, no Verb.

Speaker 2:

To vagina Stop vagina.

Speaker 1:

Stop vagina-ing me yeah.

Speaker 2:

No, no, really.

Speaker 1:

Did you?

Speaker 2:

say no?

Speaker 1:

What Did you say no? What Did you say no?

Speaker 2:

I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1:

Okay, but I I'm going to see the picture and I'm going to laugh, okay.

Speaker 2:

What picture.

Speaker 1:

What was it? Adjective.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

Okay, hi, um, what, what are you doing? You have nuts in your mouth.

Speaker 2:

Nuts in my teeth.

Speaker 1:

Okay, a part of the body. Yeah, the nuts in your teeth.

Speaker 2:

Yep.

Speaker 1:

How about just?

Speaker 2:

Again. Really, what? Really Again Are you?

Speaker 1:

cramping. Yeah, yeah Again, I it Really.

Speaker 2:

Again.

Speaker 1:

Are you cramping? Yeah, yeah Again I. It's been a while.

Speaker 2:

I haven't done that today.

Speaker 1:

Not today, but before. Okay, well, thank you, that was really nice of you.

Speaker 2:

Are you laughing yet?

Speaker 1:

No, there's nothing funny here.

Speaker 2:

No, nothing. No, Did you like the picture?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I said it was very nice. Oh, thank you.

Speaker 2:

Did you see me?

Speaker 1:

I see that. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2:

I think we have to finish this.

Speaker 1:

I'm glad you're there, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm also mad at you for not being there you're welcome you're gonna be there. I don't care how you're feeling. You're going to be there.

Speaker 2:

That's the best way to end it Okay.

Speaker 1:

Just music, yeah, blah.

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