Roasty Toasty Ghosty
Roasty Toasty Ghosty — The comedy class no one asked for, and everyone needs.
Each week, Lauren and Mattias “teach” you something completely useless — from fake history lessons and chaotic crash courses to games, quizzes, and whatever else their sleep-deprived brains come up with. Think educational chaos… but make it funny.
Roasty Toasty Ghosty
[Leftovers] #117
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Beginning music - Energetic Prog Rock from AdobeStock
Intermission & ending music - Marshmallow Overload by Avocado Junkie
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Neither hosts are scientists or historians and all content displayed is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Simply put, not a single word spoken in this podcast is or should be taken seriously.
No ghosties were harmed in the making of this podcast.
Random Chit-Chat and Laughter
Speaker 1Hello, hello.
Speaker 2Hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 1Hello.
Speaker 2Hello and welcome to Roasty Toasty Goosey.
Speaker 1Have we started?
Speaker 2I don't know, you haven't opened.
Speaker 1No, that's true.
Speaker 2It's up to you, when we start.
Speaker 1We usually do the warm-ups first.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm, I'm mixing things up.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying are you gonna survive this? Yes, okay I survived last week, so this is much easier than last week. Oh yes, yeah last week was rough.
Speaker 2It was rough rough yeah, and the editing wasn't fun either no, I believe that when you're sick, yeah but I did it quite quite yeah, the funny thing is that the uh, you know leftovers.
Speaker 1It was already over 10 minutes when we started the episode, because we were talking so much before that I couldn't keep any of it.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1But I kept it in the.
Speaker 2Yeah, no, you just jumped right into it. The episode started with us opening.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2It was nothing before that.
Speaker 1No, because I don't know what we were talking about. Wasn't that entertaining to me? Okay, I didn't that entertaining to me.
Speaker 2Okay, I didn't listen to the leftovers.
Speaker 1If you do, you can judge by yourself and see if you think it was worthy of keeping or not.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1But then again you cut stuff that I would have kept.
Speaker 2Usually.
Speaker 1Lots of times I'm like but that's funny.
Speaker 2No, it's not.
Speaker 1Yes, is, but yeah, nice, how do?
Speaker 2thank you, you too thank you should I start off by singing?
Speaker 1okay, okay, I'm falling asleep what are you going to sing? I'm going to use oh no.
Speaker 2What just happened? Whoa, that was new, was it me I?
Speaker 1think.
Speaker 2Oh boy, At least towards the end, because I like to save everything for the end. I like to save everything for the end.
Speaker 1Oh, okay.
Speaker 2Yup I shower with Jackie Chan. Huh, what do you think about that? It's okay are you jealous?
Speaker 1of you or Jackie Chan?
Speaker 2both start with me.
Speaker 1I can also shower with Jackie Chan, because I have a couple of shirts with his face on it are you jealous of Jackie Chan?
Speaker 2Nah Well, yes, wow, that was a noise.
Speaker 1Nah, yes, I am, because he's very rich and he has made a lot of good movies. Wait what? Okay, wasn't that the answer you were expecting? No, huh, okay. Okay, isn't that the answer you were expecting? No, huh, okay.
Speaker 2Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue blue.
Speaker 1I love a blue.
Speaker 2Microphone is not blue, but it says blue.
Speaker 1Birthday without you? I don't think so. No.
Speaker 2At this point I'm feeling like you'd be just fine having a birthday without me.
Speaker 1Are you sad? No, I'm fine, are you blue?
Speaker 2I'm a microphone.
Speaker 1Did I make you sad.
Speaker 2Why would I be sad?
Speaker 1It was a joke. What Me being jealous of Jackie Chan.
Speaker 2Okay, it's dirty. How did the microphone get so dirty like?
Speaker 1never touch it.
Speaker 2I don't know what is all this? Have you ever dirt wondered what all that is?
Speaker 1dirt, dirt from what I mean.
Speaker 2We must have splashed something on it we spit on it we spit on it all the time and it doesn't come out like that well, someone was drinking coffee, I think oh probably I wouldn't be surprised if that's coffee yeah, should we start, or do you want to speak more?
Speaker 1what was was that that was a car crashing.
Speaker 2I hope so, not into mine.
Speaker 1No, maybe not. Maybe it was yours.
Speaker 2My car just left without me. Yeah, I'm just going to take a 30 second nap before we start.
Speaker 1Are you okay? Why Are you sad? Do I have a reason to be sad? Because I make jokes? I don't know. Because I'm funny and you're like, I'm never going to be as funny as Matias.
Speaker 2I'm just jealous. Yeah, you're not sad, no, no okay, can you say the word talk, talk okay talk what, what.
Speaker 1How am I saying it wrong?
Speaker 2you're not. You're not, it's just the way that you say it talk, talk talk, that's a talk no, uh, it reminds me of another episode, ah where I was talking yeah, with the james bond and the golden finger oh, what happened with his golden finger? Um he, he was gonna talk ah, oh, oh, yes, oh yes.
Speaker 1The scene from Goldfinger.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, golden fingers.
Speaker 1Golden fingers. Do you expect me to talk? Talk? No, mr Bond, I expect you to die. Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2You haven't opened yet.
Speaker 1Classic scene. It's a yeah, I don't know, it's classic. You have to buy more monsters oh, it's jackie chan's birthday what it says it's jackie chan's birthday oh okay, yeah, you call me jackie chan. That's now I get it, because it's not uh. Apr.
Speaker 2April 7th yet it's not April Fool's.
Speaker 1No, what? No, it was, I didn't.
Speaker 2What.
Speaker 1Did you think I was meaning you?
Speaker 2I was just checking, just in case. I wasn't sure what the gesture was for, but I was assuming.
Speaker 1Just in case really. You have something right here on the entire side of your face. No, I was actually just scratching myself. I didn't mean to.
Speaker 2You say scratching yourself, yeah, like, oh sorry. Mean to you say scratching yourself, yeah, like, oh sorry.
Speaker 1I have something there how embarrassing yeah, okay okay, okay, nope, but I'm Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2Nope, but I'm.
Speaker 1You said my name, so I need to clear my throat and then say yes.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Was that it?
Speaker 2That was it, yep.
Speaker 1Thank you.
Speaker 2You're welcome Anything fun you want to bring up.
Speaker 1Why was I? Why were Was? Isaac Was, and I met your ex.
Speaker 2Yes, or I waved at him. Okay, that's good.
Speaker 1Good, good, good. Did he tell you about that?
Speaker 2Yeah, on the phone today.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2Mm, I just did treadmill Good, I, I just did treadmill Good.
Speaker 1I uh, I well, I, I was at work.
Speaker 2You went to work.
Speaker 1I do, I do.
Speaker 2So, she.
Speaker 1She might be pissed because I didn't send her money the other day. She wanted. She wanted 170 kroner for lunch, or whatever I'm like. No, your mom said that she gave you food.
Speaker 2Money.
Speaker 1No, no food. She was at her dad's and my sister sent food with Isabel.
Speaker 2So she had food. She wanted something else.
Speaker 1Yeah. So I'm like no, you're not going to get money if you already have food.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And I guess that pissed her off.
Speaker 2Just as well.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's okay.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Maybe she won't talk to me anymore.
Speaker 2Yeah, we have a system where um the kids earn their money yeah, okay through like chores. They get like 10 kroner per job that they do, and um at the beginning of this month. Uh, my oldest got five kroner oh that's how much he did half a job well, no, because I deduct money for, like the phones and savings okay because I put 10 kronor in savings for all of them every month as well okay and the phone is like 95 okay so they have to do like at least 10 jobs just to pay for their phones, yeah and then the rest they pretty much get to keep.
Speaker 2He managed to get five kronor yeah, okay, so and then? He kept asking me for money for food like that. I was like you know what? No, I only sent him money, like maybe twice or maybe three times. So then I was like that's it no more, you gotta start doing your jobs more.
Speaker 2He did the bare minimum yeah work pretty much okay and that's not okay no or maybe they'll do the jobs but they'll forget to write it down yeah otherwise I don't know if they're doing anything or not no so yeah, but yeah, she was the one who didn't say happy birthday to me, to my, to me today. Yeah, rude.
Speaker 1Your daughter texted me happy birthday this morning.
Speaker 2Yep because I told her.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2I didn't tell her to write to you, but I just mentioned oh, it's Matias' birthday. Oh okay, oh yeah, no, I'm not. No, no, no, Absolutely not.
Speaker 1Not happening.
Speaker 2I'm not admitting to anything at all. I've had a week and I'm going to leave it at that.
Speaker 1You're like what were your numbers? You're going to copy my numbers.
Speaker 2Yeah, I lost 0.9. Oh my god, I don't even want to say it.
Speaker 1Okay, I'm not going to laugh because it's not funny.
Speaker 2I'm not going to tell you's not funny. I'm not going to tell you no, okay, you already know. I'm not sure I know, but Well, someone here said that I was going to gain three kilos. So I gained three kilos.
Speaker 1I'm sorry.
Speaker 2You could have said .5. Yeah, I could have, but you could have said she just lost three kilos.
Speaker 1Yeah, well, it but you could have said she just lost three kilos. Yeah Well, it wasn't my fault. We both know whose fault it was.
Speaker 2It was someone else's yes, but the words could have been different.
Speaker 1Yeah, but that wasn't my fault.
Speaker 2I mean, if I had, and you said, other numbers. It might have been those other numbers.
Speaker 1I don't think so, Because he was waving that thing in front of you. You know, that's when you gain the weight. Yeah, you know his thing.
Speaker 2He waved it in front of me, yeah, you know, and I gained three kilos.
Speaker 1You know when he's waving his thing in front of me and I gained three kilos. You know when he's waving his thing in front of people. Oh, he does that a lot, it's you know, his bag his bag. No, matias ding dong it's no, it's whatever.
Speaker 2Whoever that is.
Speaker 1Well, if Ledger never made a movie called Joker? Okay, he played Joker.
Speaker 2Yeah, in a movie, that's what I meant. Yeah, okay. And then he killed himself.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Which is natural. I guess being Joker ruins your life, yeah, so Cool, could be him.
Speaker 1No, I would love to see it.
Speaker 2Aren't you special?
Speaker 1I don't know, maybe I am, but I would have loved to see it. But it never went in Sweden, oh, not that I know.
Speaker 2Okay, a butt cuss. A butt cuss. That's not good.
Speaker 1Somehow it's worse.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1Here's my butt cuss.
Speaker 2It would be really weird if it sounded like your butt was swearing every time you farted. Shit, whoops, shit oh whoops, that would be so weird yeah, I don't know okay, anyway oh yeah, I'm cutting the funny parts just.
Speaker 1Yeah, you usually do.
Speaker 2Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1But no, in some weird, you know, by some weird coincidence, the no, you get to stand up and go get it Okay, okay.
Speaker 2Don't say anything funny while you're standing up, okay.
Speaker 1Did you want me to say something funny? I said don't say anything funny while you're standing up. Okay, Did you want me to say something?
Speaker 2funny. I said don't say anything funny while you're standing up.
Speaker 1I'm doing a good job so far.
Speaker 2Yeah, you haven't said anything funny yet.
Speaker 1No, have I taken the whole thing?
Speaker 2I don't know.
Speaker 1Looks like I am.
Merry Christmas Present Unwrapping Laughter
Speaker 2I guess. So you can take the entire thing. It's a present.
Speaker 1Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2Oh, merry Christmas, Matthias. Put that on the floor, yes, and adjust yourself. I guess. Oh yeah, it was a birthday present, because the wrapping paper didn't fit around the box completely.
Speaker 1Oh, oh.
Speaker 2Don't say anything funny while you open the present.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2It makes a lot of noise. I want to cut it, okay.
Speaker 1Now I get it. See it's, it's nicely wrapped.
Speaker 2If you don't look under.
Speaker 1No, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2I wouldn't, you would never look under the present.
Speaker 1It's nicely wrapped, it is from that angle it's nicely ripped. Oh, I said something funny and while you're unwrapping, yeah that's not okay.
Speaker 2You have to stop moving and then say it we tried this one before, right yeah okay, it makes me unhappy.
Speaker 1I mean, I'm gonna open this.
Speaker 2Don't say anything funny.
Speaker 1Don't say anything funny. Ew, it's all snotty now. I just smelled it Ew.
Speaker 2Okay, no, no, no, it's okay. There's no frosting.
Speaker 1Frosting. I'm sorry for enjoying what I just got. Can you enjoy it a bit louder? So good, I love it in my mouth.
Speaker 2Okay, yummy, it's like yummy yummy, yummy yummy no microwave and hot what I think it's hot.
Speaker 1Mm-mm, mm-mm.
Speaker 2Mm-mm, mm-mm.
Speaker 1No, no, okay, it says Frosted.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1That makes me think about that song.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1I mean it's still cold outside, mm-hmm, so I can sing about Frosted the Snowman. I guess, Mm-hmm, I'm pretty sure I am so happy, da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 2That goes there, yep.
Speaker 1Can I put it in this?
Speaker 2You can do that, and then I can take a bag.
Speaker 1Should I put this up Mm-hmm, is that good? Mm-hmm Okay.
Speaker 2There's a car right there.
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, did you want those too?
Speaker 2If you don't want me to take them, maybe you should put them away.
Speaker 1Where do I put them?
Speaker 2Back in the box. Okay, to protect your stuff.
Speaker 1Perfect, awesome, perfect, awesome, okay. So, um, and this one. I'm sorry, no, I'm gonna throw up, okay uh no, I'm, I'm just, I'm just thinking. Uh, do you expect me to just listen, or should I comment?
Speaker 2You should definitely comment.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2If you want to fill out the space.
Speaker 1Or ow Bunk.
Speaker 2No, I read number five, as always down for Freya, but that's not what it says. No, you are stubborn.
Speaker 1What Shaky shake.
Speaker 2You're shitty, no, no.
Speaker 1I said shaky.
Speaker 2I thought you said shitty. No, Like you are a shitty person.
Speaker 1I don't actually like you. I thought you said I was the one with bad hearing. I also like that when I'm saying that you're like.
Speaker 2Huh, oh, we can't do that. It's going to be loud, yeah no.
Speaker 1This night.
Speaker 2The night we met Weird Al. Yeah, this is that's we met Weird Al yeah. This is um. That's not what I was supposed to say.
Speaker 1That's the live Mad Libs Mm.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, calm down, it wasn't that funny.
Speaker 1Well, it sounded like yeah, there, there. Oh, I always get it wrong there.
Speaker 2Oh, my God Okay.
Speaker 1Oh my god.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1My squeaky laugh.
Speaker 2Whisper laugh.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's like, it's like I have a spring in my laugh.