Roasty Toasty Ghosty
It's a weird title to a weird podcast hosted by a couple of weird people talking about weird things.
Roasty Toasty Ghosty
#134: Mind Your Own Business
In which Lauren & Mattias share tips for polar bears who want to survive the summer. They review their recent movie night films and discuss various topics such as naked polar bears and blueberry pants.
Content:
- Opening
- Midsummer weekend!
- Misery?
- Weekly check in
- Movie on!
- Good Advice
- Svensson Svensson
- Intermission
- Breaking ice
- Summer survival tips for a polar bear
- Icebergs daily routine
- Special skills to survive summer
- What's ruining our lives
- Wrap up
- Fan Mail
- Live Mad Libs! July 12, 2025 8pm CET/2pm EST on Twitch @roastytoastyghostypodcast
Don't miss this heartwarming and funny episode of Roasty Toasty Ghosty - and be sure to follow and subscribe to our podcast and join us on Instagram. Trust us, you'll want to be part of our crazy journey as we navigate life's ups and downs together.
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Beginning music - Energetic Prog Rock from AdobeStock
Intermission & ending music - Marshmallow Overload by Avocado Junkie
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Neither hosts are scientists or historians and all content displayed is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Simply put, not a single word spoken in this podcast is or should be taken seriously.
No ghosties were harmed in the making of this podcast.
In a world where everything is unscripted, this is Roasty.
Speaker 2:Toasty Ghost. Why are you a terrible person is my question.
Speaker 1:I don't know. So many people ask that.
Speaker 2:There's probably a reason why?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I don't know. Do you know? Maybe you should know why I am.
Speaker 2:No no.
Speaker 1:But I didn't think I was until all the people said that about me.
Speaker 2:When did this start?
Speaker 1:When I was three and a half.
Speaker 2:You didn't know much before that.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:But then I guess you caught on pretty quickly yeah.
Speaker 1:When you just then realized, Well, the problem is that people are just asking that question. They never give me like a reason, or a hint yeah. What's what? The terrible thing I did is? No one tells me and I'm like I don't get it.
Speaker 2:I'm covered in sunburns and bug bites.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm covered in sweat and cat hair.
Speaker 2:Yep, it's been confirmed. Yes, I know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, should we start.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Who's doing the talking today, if you want to.
Speaker 2:It's you because I had a birthday. Okay, yeah, who's doing the talking today, if you want to.
Speaker 1:It's you, because I had a birthday, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you have to open up.
Speaker 1:Yes, I will.
Speaker 2:If you're ready.
Speaker 1:I think I am.
Speaker 2:If you're not ready, you should probably wait. Are you ready?
Speaker 1:I'm waiting.
Speaker 2:Okay, really think this through.
Speaker 1:Okay, hmm, yep, now I'm ready.
Speaker 2:Okay, good.
Speaker 1:Hello and welcome to Roasty Toasty Ghosty. My name is Mattias.
Speaker 2:I'm Lauren.
Speaker 1:And we are going to be your besties for an hour or so. Maybe, Perhaps Fancy way of saying it.
Speaker 2:That is fancy.
Speaker 1:I'm feeling fancy today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is something you could say if you were feeling fancy.
Speaker 1:And you know I mean welcome to the best podcast in the world.
Speaker 2:Thank you, you're welcome. I like being here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:Good.
Speaker 1:I do like our talks like this.
Speaker 2:We have good talks.
Speaker 1:We do have good talks, and that's why I like them. Oh, so here we are.
Speaker 2:We are here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, talking.
Speaker 2:That's where we are, hmm, here.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly, did I miss anything?
Speaker 2:Me. Yes, aw, matthias, you're so sweet.
Speaker 1:Hmm, okay, you're the worst. Okay, anyhow, should we start talking about what happened this week?
Speaker 2:I mean, I guess we could, but I'm not sure I really have that much.
Speaker 1:No, we don't have a ton to talk about. A ton, not a ton.
Speaker 2:I don't have a ton-ton.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:To talk about.
Speaker 1:I don't have one of those either. I think they might be extinct.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, maybe I should probably mention, though, that today is Thursday. It's not Friday, like we usually would record on.
Speaker 1:That is true, and that's your fault.
Speaker 2:It is my fault, because it's my fault that it's midsummer this weekend.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And we're gonna head out to the summer cabin tomorrow, Friday, and enjoy our weekend together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you and your family.
Speaker 2:And you.
Speaker 1:You'll be out there on Saturday. Yeah, I'm not going to go tomorrow.
Speaker 2:No, but I'm going, you will also enjoy your time there. Oh okay On Saturday, oh okay the weekend.
Speaker 1:Okay, I was thinking I was going to be misery.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be misery. I was going to be misery. What I'm going to be misery. You're going to be misery, miserable, that's what the word was.
Speaker 2:I am in misery.
Speaker 1:I'm misery. No, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Have you seen that movie? No, you haven't.
Speaker 2:What Misery no.
Speaker 1:You wouldn't like it.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:It's not your type of movie.
Speaker 2:It sounds miserable. Yeah, I've seen the Miserables.
Speaker 1:Yes, you have seen that one. Yeah, it's a movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1:I won't say if it's good or bad, but it's a movie.
Speaker 2:Okay, which one?
Speaker 1:The Miserables.
Speaker 2:Right, we've seen that I.
Speaker 1:Right, we've seen that I like Misery, though.
Speaker 2:I've never seen that.
Speaker 1:I don't think you would like it.
Speaker 2:Probably not. I'm sure it's on the list.
Speaker 1:I don't know If it is on the list. I probably will take it off, because it feels like there's one scene in particular that you would not like to see.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's not watch that.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Okay, then what? Then oh yeah, the weekend we're gonna be camping. So today is Thursday.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So we're gonna start with the week.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And last Saturday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Last Saturday that was a day for grilling.
Speaker 2:It was.
Speaker 1:Yes, we also. I mean, we had a plan to go by car to a city.
Speaker 2:Well, wait, hold on what, Okay we woke up.
Speaker 1:You stayed the night, I did.
Speaker 2:On Friday.
Speaker 1:Then we woke up.
Speaker 2:And we watched City Hunter and Kung Pao.
Speaker 1:And the the Fist.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we usually do for my birthday. Yeah, but it was the do for my birthday.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it was the day after my birthday, yeah.
Speaker 1:It still worked. Yeah, we could watch the movies even after your birthday.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:That's cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, who knew? I knew because I suggested it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so then but I think that was just a guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe, well, guess, yeah, maybe. Well, we watched the movies and then, yeah, like you said, we were planning on going to the city and looking at a candy store, but we didn't have time for that no so we took a really long walk instead yeah, we had time for that yeah, I don't know, or or barely, barely.
Speaker 1:I mean, we got late to the grilling, but it wasn't.
Speaker 2:It wasn't a big deal.
Speaker 1:Big deal.
Speaker 2:No, it was at my place, so yeah, but yeah, we went for this walk and we got a drink and we sat under a tree and consumed our beverages. Yeah, and talked and we talked, and it was warm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we saw a dad with his baby. Yeah yeah, the baby was so cute.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But yes, it was warm, really warm.
Speaker 2:And then we walked back.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And we got stuff to grill and then we went to your place and we grilled our things. Yeah, yeah, both of my older kids decided to run off with friends instead of go with us, but Sick Child was still with us. Yes, so it was nice, it was nice, it went well, I agree.
Speaker 1:Good, good, good. We did have fika too.
Speaker 2:We did. We stayed for fika this time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because last time I didn't even think about having fika after no, and so we ran off before fika. But this time we had fika.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It was a lot calmer than last time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was fewer people there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was. Oh, yeah, it was.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I got a blueberry plant. Blueberry plant.
Speaker 1:I thought you were going to say a blueberry pimple.
Speaker 2:I got a blueberry pimple.
Speaker 1:Yes, a blueberry pant.
Speaker 2:I got blueberry pants no.
Speaker 1:No, this is not going well for us. It was a plant. Yes.
Speaker 2:With blueberries, or there weren't any blueberries on it yet.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:But I got that as a birthday present from your family. Yes, it was really nice. And then on Sunday my family went out to the summer cabin and we grilled and we had fika and cake and celebrated my birthday there too.
Speaker 1:Salad braided Salad braided.
Speaker 2:Salad braided. We braided salad. It didn't go very well.
Speaker 1:No, but we tried. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Do you know how to make those like flower crowns for Midsummer?
Speaker 1:No, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:I think my sister makes them, but I don't know if she's like cheating with them somehow. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Okay, where I don't know what you mean by that?
Speaker 1:I don't know what the rules are. She might be cheating with them. I don't know what the rules are.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to do that, because.
Speaker 1:I think she has some kind of ståltråd or something in there, yeah. And I don't know if that's how they usually are made or if that's just something she does. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:So that's what I mean by cheating. If people do them like without anything in there, like stabilizing it. I don't know how to do that and I don't think she knows either. No, that's what I meant okay, anyway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we grilled at the summer cabin with my life partner's mother and aunt yeah we also went for a walk that day, Sunday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did. We went for a walk and then we had fika.
Speaker 2:And then I went to the summer cabin.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's true, you're right.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It was a nice walk, it was a nice fika.
Speaker 2:It was good, yeah, anything else.
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I don't know what I did, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Maybe I was doing the woodworking and then for the last four days I really haven't done that much. Sick child went to football school some kind of summer camp thing for the week, and it's just like an hour and a half of them playing football.
Speaker 1:Okay, so every day.
Speaker 2:This week yeah, and it was only this week, monday to thursday okay, he kind of liked it, and then he also kind of didn't like it. He would like kind of give up at random times and just decide I need to take a break, and he didn't want to participate until they were like actually kicking the ball around. Yeah, it was okay. Okay, and I also started building a hamster house.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you did.
Speaker 2:Because I feel like I don't have anything else to do. So that is my project Okay At the moment. Yeah, I have anything else to do, so that is my project at the moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have been working this week. I don't know if you have anything else to add to the week, but on Wednesday we went for a walk.
Speaker 2:That was yesterday.
Speaker 1:That was yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yes, we did go for a walk. It's kind of a funny story because I picked you up at work, yeah, and then we parked by where my oldest has his boxing lessons and you were thirsty. Yeah so we walked to the store and got a drink. On our way to the store, it starts raining.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Quite a bit. So we were thinking, oh well, that's okay, we can just sit back in the car and wait the rain out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then by the time we got out of the store it had already stopped raining. Yeah, but we sat in the car anyway.
Speaker 1:We had to finish what we bought in the store.
Speaker 2:Right, and then we went for a walk.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was a nice walk.
Speaker 2:It was a nice walk.
Speaker 1:We walked and talked and, yeah, when your son was done with the boxing training, yeah, you brought him home. Then you brought me home to my place.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And there you got more birthday presents.
Speaker 2:I got the Karate Kid movies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the first four.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the Drunken Master movies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the first two. There's only two, yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I was very happy about that.
Speaker 1:Good.
Speaker 2:And then we watched who Am I when I got home? Yeah, because my daughter was like I want very happy about that, good. And then we watched who Am I when?
Speaker 1:I got home yeah.
Speaker 2:Because my daughter was like I want to watch a movie. I was like, well, I have this one, I want to watch this one. She's like okay.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So we watched it. Well, I watched it.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:My oldest and my daughter were like watching on and off.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It was on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, too bad, it wasn't subtitles.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there weren't any subtitles, which would probably have kept my oldest attention, or at least better.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Because he was like can we have subtitles? I was like there's no subtitles.
Speaker 1:But it's cool to have the Blu-ray also.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it on my shelf.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a pretty cool cover too. I think it's Australian, the release of the version of that, okay, but I was just expecting it to have subtitles. You just kind of assume, yeah, because I'm pretty sure I read where I bought it from that it had subtitles.
Speaker 2:Sometimes so sly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, stupid.
Speaker 2:Stupid.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, today is Thursday. Yes, it is June 19th.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And we watched movies.
Speaker 1:We did.
Speaker 2:Even though it's Thursday, yeah. Would you like to movie on?
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's movie on Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, tonight we watched Good Advice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, good, and then Svensson Svensson Filmen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to tell you about Good Advice. Yes, I'm going to give you Good Advice. Thank you the summary. This is a movie with Charlie Sheen. Yeah, and he's a stockbroker.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Something like that. He makes a big move and his whole career kind of collapses on him based off of this move, and so he's jobless and his girlfriend breaks up with him and she moves to Brazil.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I need to lose weight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if, speaking, I can't breathe, this is a problem.
Speaker 2:There's no air in here, and his girlfriend wrote advice for a newspaper the advice column, and pretty much Charlie Sheen takes over that and pretends that he is his girlfriend writing these columns.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's it yeah. He doesn't beat up bad guys no this is more of a romantic comedy, yeah. So what did you think about this movie?
Speaker 2:I liked this movie.
Speaker 1:You did.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed it quite a bit. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Cool.
Speaker 2:John Lovitz is in this movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was funny. Yeah, I mean he's always funny. And also the old lady was really funny too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she had a Betty White kind of vibe, but it wasn't Betty White.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Could have been, she could have played that part.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:But she didn't. No, what did you think about the movie?
Speaker 1:I thought it was funny too. This was the first time I saw this movie.
Speaker 2:Me too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very cool. But I kind of thought it was funny how it had similarities to what Women Want with Mel Gibson.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I mean.
Speaker 2:He had superpowers in that one yeah.
Speaker 1:But it's about a guy who's a real jerk who then gets to find a feminine side. They have to think like a feminine side.
Speaker 2:They have to think like a woman. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I feel like it really felt similar to these movies and that kind of makes me happy to have like these actors. And then just I didn't even think about that some movies would be similar. I think there might be more similarities between other movies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably.
Speaker 1:That they have made. I never got that connection before.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anyhow, I really like this movie. It has very funny funny. Yeah, Anyhow, I really like this movie. It has very funny characters. Yeah, the girl, girl, girlfriend Right, who's in the Bond movie Uh-huh, bond movie. Okay, she got married to Charlie later after this movie.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I think they met during.
Speaker 2:What was her name? Do you know?
Speaker 1:Denise Richards.
Speaker 2:Okay, what else was she in? Do you know?
Speaker 1:Bond movie Right.
Speaker 2:Other than the Bond movie.
Speaker 1:Um which Bond movie the World is Not Enough.
Speaker 2:Okay, the World is Ending.
Speaker 1:No, okay, I don't know what else she's been in. Yeah, right now, oh well, but she's been in other things too, I think.
Speaker 2:Okay, and she's not Demi Moore.
Speaker 1:She's not. No, could have been, I guess, if she really wanted to. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean if she was married to Bruce Willis. Yeah, then she could have been Demi Moore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think that happened, if she just changed her name to Demi Moore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe Anything else.
Speaker 1:I kind of feel it was weird because this movie has an R rating and when watching this movie it really don't have to. It has some sex scenes and stuff, but those are really redundant. They really don't need those at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it didn't show anything.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I didn't even see boobs in this movie.
Speaker 1:No, we saw a butt.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:A guy's butt? Yeah, I don't think that's in this movie.
Speaker 2:No, we saw a butt, yeah, a guy's butt, yeah. I don't think that's worth an R rating, though.
Speaker 1:No, he was painting though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ugh gross, okay Next movie.
Speaker 1:Next movie Svensson, svensson Filmen. So this is a movie, a Swedish movie, about a family, svenson, the svenson family. And uh, okay, so the mom in this family gets a job offer to work in stockholm, the capital city, so she has to pendla. What's that? Travel, travel to work, and that makes the husband who's like a kid? Really, he's really like a kid more, he's more of a kid than the kids and he decides that they're gonna move to stockholm. He's a mailman and in stockholm no one really knows him and he somehow he people think he's like an higher up and is starting to make like ridiculous suggestions to the postal service. Yeah, that's it, and I mean it feels like it's between, I mean, the daughter in the family she has her boyfriends and the kid he has the go-kart, so they have their own thing to do in the movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of split in four ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Is that a good summary?
Speaker 2:It feels pretty good, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, what do you think about this book?
Speaker 2:I enjoyed this one too. Yeah, it was really funny.
Speaker 1:Okay good, I was really not sure about if you were gonna like this one, because it's really talky. I mean, I don't know, it feels like they talk a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I feel it's really funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just wasn't sure if you would think so, but it makes me glad that you think so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did enjoy this one. Good, it was good. Did you like it?
Speaker 1:I do like this one. Good, it was good, did you like it? I? I do like this one. Okay, uh, this is like, uh, the last week's movie, this um. This movie is based on a sitcom, in a swedish sitcom and with these characters, so I mean watching that would have been a good um backstory, but I think you you still kind of know who these people are, even though you haven't seen the sitcom, I guess yeah because I'm assuming you haven't seen this I haven't seen the sitcom and this is the first time I've seen this movie and you understood it anyways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, perfect, then I'm happy. And also it has the same. I mean, the son in the family is the same as the younger brother in last week's movie.
Speaker 2:And soon yeah.
Speaker 1:That's all I had.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 1:I think so.
Speaker 2:Alright, would you like to take a break?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we should take a break.
Speaker 2:Alright, we will be right back.
Speaker 1:Yes, bye, all right. Would you like to take a break? Yeah, we should take a break. All right, we will be right back. Yes, bye, bye-bye, welcome back.
Speaker 2:Hello.
Speaker 1:Hello.
Speaker 2:Did you have a nice break?
Speaker 1:I did have a nice break.
Speaker 2:Did you break during your break? I broke nicely. Did you have an ice break? I did have an ice break. Did you break during your break?
Speaker 1:I broke nicely.
Speaker 2:Did you have an ice break? Did you break ice?
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, that was a good one.
Speaker 2:That was fun. Yeah, let's do that again. Did you break ice?
Speaker 1:Yeah Cool, I'm an ice breaker.
Speaker 2:Yes, you are yeah.
Speaker 1:Mm, I'm an icebreaker.
Speaker 2:Yes, you are. Yeah, Mm-hmm. Also, maybe that has something to do with what we're going to talk about today.
Speaker 1:Okay, yes. Maybe, Breaking ice.
Speaker 2:Breaking ice. That could be something you could do when you're really warm.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know it's like summertime now.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:It's almost midsummer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have you noticed that we're watching Swedish summer movies?
Speaker 2:I have. Have you noticed that it's warm outside? I?
Speaker 1:have.
Speaker 2:And you don't tolerate summer weather very well.
Speaker 1:Not, really no.
Speaker 2:You're like a polar bear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I am well, not really.
Speaker 2:No, you're like a polar bear yeah, I am. So I was thinking maybe I could give you some summer survival tips, or need them. For a polar bear.
Speaker 1:Is that what it says?
Speaker 2:Well, I wrote for someone who has zero tolerance for the sun and heat. But, now I'm wondering Summer survival tips for a polar bear. Okay, I like that better. Anyway, if a polar bear had to survive summer, especially far from the icy Arctic, it would be a total disaster. Okay, but let's go into some survival tips.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:If you were a polar bear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, almost.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm less hairy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess. So A naked polar bear, number one out of eight. Okay, find the chill zones.
Speaker 1:The chill zones.
Speaker 2:You can spend your summer vacation hanging out in walk-in freezers, ice rinks or deep shaded caves yeah, I mean freezers. Of course I do that, I have hung out in freezers many times, mostly for crying, partly for the cookie dough don't tell anyone ice cream I didn't find the ice cream.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:But cookie dough, that's in there, it's in there. And I can still eat it even when it's frozen.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:When I want cookie dough.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I will eat cookie dough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it's almost like ice cream.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but not really. It's a frozen cookie yeah.
Speaker 1:AKA ice cream. Yeah it's like the same thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Number two avoid the noon sun like a boss, Okay. If it's bright, stay out of sight. Nap during the day like a desert creature.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we weren't talking about that today. That sounds like my oldest right now. Yeah, and I said that I want to wake up in the evening. Yeah, so I can spend the time at night.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then go to bed in the morning.
Speaker 2:And then, yeah, come out only at dawn or dusk. Your natural fur coat wasn't made for solar flare ups. Do you know the difference between dawn and dusk? Which one is dawn and which one is dusk?
Speaker 1:Dawn is in the morning.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Dusk, I guess it's the evening.
Speaker 2:Like midday.
Speaker 1:Is it? I thought it was evening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I think you're right.
Speaker 1:One is evening, one is morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I never remembered.
Speaker 1:I know that dawn is morning. I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2:Okay. Okay, number three. You might not agree with this, but this is what it says. Okay, water is your best friend, except I thought I was your best friend, so I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:You don't like water.
Speaker 1:Well, in what way? For drinking or for, like, swimming in?
Speaker 2:It says find a cold river, glacier, fed lake or personal plunge pool and splash, dunk or roll in ice whenever possible.
Speaker 1:So swimming.
Speaker 2:Does rolling around in ice sound like something you would want to do?
Speaker 1:No, not really Okay you.
Speaker 2:No, no, not at all. I mean most summers I like taking cold showers, just to cool off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it can be nice.
Speaker 2:I haven't been able to get myself to take a cold shower yet this year. Okay, and I have sunburns all down my back and I still want warm water, but it burns my back. I'm going to tell you. I reburned my back three times just this week. Just today Just today, in the past hour, three times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and it's in the middle of the night yeah, I'm not gonna tell you how it's that bad you can mind your own business.
Speaker 2:Number four style over sweat, lose the extra undercoat. You can molt your.
Speaker 1:Polar bear.
Speaker 2:You're a polar bear, Shave basically Okay, yeah, okay. If you're still too warm after you shave your body and remove your clothes, wear a human-invented cooling vest filled with ice packs. You also could roll around in ice.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Naked and.
Speaker 1:In a river.
Speaker 2:Bald in ice yeah. Naked and In a river. Bald Bald, yeah, that's an option if you feel like it would be necessary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do most. If you're desperate, you know I do most things bald.
Speaker 2:Okay, you could be more bald, because you do have hair on your face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do, and some on my head too.
Speaker 2:A little bit. Yeah, there's something there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like a crowns.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a crown of hair.
Speaker 1:Hair crown Very pretty yeah.
Speaker 2:Who needs flowers when you have hair?
Speaker 1:Exactly, I just want to be a polar bear.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And, by the way, like a boss, it said like a boss.
Speaker 2:It did.
Speaker 1:Polar bear boss.
Speaker 2:You could be a boss. Wow, that's an option.
Speaker 1:Could you imagine having a polar bear for boss?
Speaker 2:That would be interesting. As long as they're nice, I guess it's okay. Yeah, number five.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:This is a good piece of advice, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Eat cold, stay cold.
Speaker 1:Okay, yes, ice cream.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm thinking ice cream, but that's not what it's suggesting, okay.
Speaker 1:Hmm, fish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's suggesting frozen fish popsicles.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Raw icy prey is preferred over anything hot or cooked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, can it be like popsicles shaped like a fish?
Speaker 2:I do prefer fish food ice cream.
Speaker 1:Okay, what does that mean?
Speaker 2:Well, it's Ben and Jerry's and it's little fish.
Speaker 1:Ah, the PH.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's fish. Shaped chocolate pieces. Yeah, okay, yeah, that works. Shaped chocolate pieces.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, yeah, that works.
Speaker 2:Anyway, next.
Speaker 1:Next.
Speaker 2:Number six build a den in a freezer. We're still hanging out in freezers, okay. So basically this is the same as the first one. Number seven emergency polar bear go bag. Okay, it's like a first aid kit. Number seven Emergency polar bear go bag. Okay, it's like a first aid kit, not really Items to pack Refillable cooler backpack. Reusable ice packs, battery powered fan. Polar bear sized that's a really big fan. A sun hat with ear holes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, okay yeah, mm-hmm. Oh yeah, okay, it took me a while, but yes, now I get it with ears Polar bear ears.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah. Spf 100 plus for that cute little nose SPF Sunscreen.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Sun lotion. Mm- okay, Sun lotion Just for the nose. I guess.
Speaker 1:Well, if you shave, or I, as a polar bear shave, I think I might need it for my entire body.
Speaker 2:Just your nose.
Speaker 1:That's it. Okay, so the rest of me is going to be red. Yeah, red polar bear. Yeah, that's me to be red. Yeah, red polar bear. Yeah, that's me. That is you, red the polar bear.
Speaker 2:Red the polar bear. The last thing you should pack in your emergency polar bear bag is emergency fish jerky. That doesn't sound great.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Number eight.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You need a mental cool down picture the tundra watch, iceberg documentaries like how they're made, I guess okay and the life of an iceberg yeah, the life of an iceberg what do you think an iceberg's daily routine would look like?
Speaker 1:Melting. I mean, if they ever talk about icebergs on TV, it's about the melting.
Speaker 2:If I were an iceberg, I think I'd wake up, you know, in the morning.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'd look around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, chill Coast is clear, chill a little bit.
Speaker 2:I'm just chilling. Oh, I'm a little sweaty.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm melting. There's a whale and now I'm a little sweaty. Oh, I'm melting.
Speaker 2:There's a whale, and now I'm underwater.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm falling apart.
Speaker 2:My leg. Come back, come back, and then I'd go to sleep. I guess I'm coming.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's my daily routine as an iceberg.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then I go to work.
Speaker 2:It's a very calm life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's very chill.
Speaker 1:Huh.
Speaker 2:Huh, oh yeah. This last one for the mental cool down was ignore tourists asking for selfies you don't have to take a selfie with a tourist? No, okay I don't know if they'd really be that interested in taking a selfie with a naked polar bear red a red naked polar bear um no.
Speaker 1:So that polar bear would be like the reverse Rudolph.
Speaker 2:Yes, everything is red except for his nose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, I feel like most people would run if they see a polar bear, wouldn't you think?
Speaker 2:I'm going to write a song for you. It's called Matias the Red-Skinned Polar Bear.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I wonder what melody.
Speaker 2:Let's see how this goes. Okay, I wonder what melody. Let's see how this goes. Okay, Matias the red-skinned polar bear had very shiny skin and if you ever saw it.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:Your skin. Okay, you would even say it's skin. It um, it's skin. All of the other polar bears used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor matias join in any polar bear games oh no, then one foggy christmas eve, uh, um, santa, um, santa. Yeah, okay, your friend Santa came to say that he is with your skin so bright.
Speaker 1:I'm pale okay.
Speaker 2:Won't you? Uh, you can lighten the world tonight with your skin because you are so bright you could be the next sun. Because you are so bright you could, you could be the next sun. Then all the polar bears loved him as they shouted out with glee matias, the red skin polar bear, you'll go down in history.
Speaker 1:You're welcome very cool, did you just come up with that?
Speaker 2:I did wow on the spot because I am that good. Yeah. In summary, I misread this. If you're a polar bear, as a summer job, this is simple advice Hibernate in the AC, live in the freezer and stay away from the sun. Like it owes you money.
Speaker 1:Like it owes you money.
Speaker 2:I guess, Okay, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It says that yeah. Or did you come up with that?
Speaker 2:that's what it says okay, um expression I have some special skills that you should develop in order to survive the summer okay, so if you're interested in this kind of information if not, please just say I don't care as a polar bear oh, as a polar bear or special skills as a polar bear, or Special skills for a polar bear to survive summer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how I would have put it.
Speaker 2:To develop in order to survive summer.
Speaker 1:See You're so good at forming sentences.
Speaker 2:If a polar bear wants to survive the brutal heat of summer, especially somewhere far from blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Special skills. That's what it said. I think, I didn't actually read it. Number one out of eight.
Speaker 1:A thousand.
Speaker 2:One thousand Thermal regulation mastery.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you can control your body heat.
Speaker 2:Right. The skill is learning how to actively cool down by practice strategic waiting belly flopping into cold water and ice block hugging.
Speaker 1:Belly flopping.
Speaker 2:Into cold water yes, I said that and rotate between shade and shallow pools to avoid overheating.
Speaker 1:No, thank you.
Speaker 2:Okay, number two Hot weather, scent tracking. These are life skills okay, yeah, okay. This skill is adapting sense of smell for summer distorted air currents, so you can smell the heat coming.
Speaker 1:It smells warm, it smells warm, I don't know Okay. I can sense the heat coming.
Speaker 2:The heat is on.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Good song the heat is on. Yeah, um this. You can develop this skill by practice hunting in thermally variable environments like valleys or wind tunnels. Uh, you can use heat shimmer and wind direction as cues for prey detection. Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You got that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Number three aquatic agility training. I don't like the sound of that. No, this skill is becoming an even better swimmer in warmer waters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can't get much worse.
Speaker 2:You do this by training for longer swims without rest and learn to locate cool underwater currents or deep spots for relief. You could also drown and you'll probably feel better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why not be cold?
Speaker 2:That's an option. Number four tool use and shelter building. This skill is using paws and environment to modify habitat.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't know. It can be dangerous to handle some tools. You might hurt yourself with a hammer.
Speaker 2:Sometimes that happens.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:You do this by digging shaded summer burrows or use debris and stones for insulation.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You can also learn to drag tarps or branches over shelters to create artificial shade.
Speaker 1:You could. If you want to Number five, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Dietary flexibility. The skill is expanding summer diet beyond seals and blubber. You need to eat something more than seals and blubber.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, I have to.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's a skill you have to develop.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Learn to forage berries, fish and even human leftovers Leftover humans, which is what I got out of that, but I feel like that means like trash. Ah, okay, yeah, but when I originally said human leftovers, I assumed whatever like the wolves and stuff left yeah from eating humans yeah, and then I'm like or did it mean like poop? No no I really hope not. That's not where my brain went.
Speaker 1:I went to dead people, you went to poop that was my first okay thought after no, we can't be dead people, it has to be poop Gross yeah.
Speaker 2:Um number six Cooling resource identification. This skill is scouting and memorizing cold zones.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Know where the cold spots are.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but I do that.
Speaker 2:Um, you, mm-hmm, that was a, but I do that. Yeah, you do.
Speaker 1:Hmm, hmm, that was a good try.
Speaker 2:It was. I attempted and it didn't go great.
Speaker 1:No, but it could have been worse.
Speaker 2:I feel like I've done worse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean I'm proud of you for trying.
Speaker 2:Thank you. You use memory and spatial navigation to return to water sources or cold dens.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm not reading very well. I feel like you can also watch for temperature cues from plants, terrain or water sound changes. So when the water starts sounding like ice, Changes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, like ice.
Speaker 2:Then it's probably colder. Then it shouldn't be summer, it might not be summer, that's true, but you're finding the cold spots? Yeah, so I don't know. Okay, number seven Sun avoidance intelligence. Reading sunlight patterns is that skill, mm-hmm. So know what the sun looks like? Yeah, and avoid that.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Do you think you can do that? Can you identify the sun if you looked for it?
Speaker 1:If I looked for the sun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do you think that you could be like?
Speaker 1:that's the sun yeah, and identify it correctly yeah, I'm looking at it right now no, that's a lamp oh, how do you know?
Speaker 2:I. It's usually a big bright thing, but I know it's not a lamp oh okay, it's difficult for some people. Yeah, maybe Not everyone.
Speaker 1:I will learn someday.
Speaker 2:Know what shade looks like.
Speaker 1:I know that.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, I think Okay.
Speaker 1:That's the dark places.
Speaker 2:Yeah, stay in the dark places. Yep Number eight the last one. This is the last skill you need. The last one, this is the last skill you need. Okay, emotional regulation in heat. Okay, this skill is managing irritability and stress in warmer climates. You could use this, I think. Yeah, so could I. I'm not. I'm not attacking you, I'm attacking myself too.
Speaker 1:Um, if you're attacking me, you have to attack, yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's a requirement. Heat stress can impair decision-making, even for apex predators. You can do this by practice rest techniques in cool shade.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool shade.
Speaker 2:Take a nap in cool shade, not warm shade.
Speaker 1:Cool shade, cool shade, learn. No, it's like the cool shade.
Speaker 2:It's cool. Yeah, for cool kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like us.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The cool polar bears.
Speaker 2:Mm.
Speaker 1:Cooler bears.
Speaker 2:Cooler bears.
Speaker 1:But I call them us.
Speaker 2:Oh, is that our gang name?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Cooler bears. Yeah, join our gang, the Cooler Bears.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:We eat ice cream when we're not supposed to because we're rebels.
Speaker 1:Yep and drink monsters.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or Something, something Beverages.
Speaker 1:Energy drinks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can also learn calming behaviors like slow pacing, gentle swimming or playing with ice.
Speaker 1:Playing with ice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that could be fun.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of swimming.
Speaker 2:Lots of swimming and ice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm okay with ice, but I don't like swimming.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:That's all I had.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's pretty good good advice, okay, good um did you hear that? What good advice yeah, oh, wow, that that was a reference to the movie that we watched today yeah called good advice yeah, spencer, spen oh wow, that was another reference.
Speaker 1:It's difficult to get in a sentence, but yeah.
Speaker 2:I want to throw in one other piece of advice.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Wear sunscreen. It's good for you. Don't eat it, you wear it.
Speaker 1:Wear it. Yeah, that's all. Okay, I will. Okay cool, Well, I won't.
Speaker 2:But you wear it, wear it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's all. Okay, I will.
Speaker 2:Okay, cool.
Speaker 1:Well, I won't, but.
Speaker 2:You won't. I should, you, should, you're gonna On my nose. On your nose, anything else. Did you want to add anything?
Speaker 1:A question Do you wear sunscreen?
Speaker 2:Usually I try to when I know that I am intentionally going out into the sun, like on the beach or something, okay. But this week, this week, this week I'm sad. This is a sad story, okay, no, it actually kind of is a sad story Because this week I'm.
Speaker 1:You weren't at the beach.
Speaker 2:I wasn't at the beach. I wasn't at the beach. I had planned on wearing sunscreen while being outside, but I couldn't find it until today sad it was right next to my jacket okay, the whole time so yeah, okay I could have taken it, but but so close. I couldn't find it. It was right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, couldn't see it, it was too close.
Speaker 2:It was so yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:All right, what do you think? Is this okay?
Speaker 1:It's okay.
Speaker 2:It's okay. Are you prepared to tell me what is ruining your life as we end this episode? Near the end of the episode.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what's ruining my life? It's going to be about my work life, because that's where I spend most of my time At work, and the people planning over there, the planning people they oh, like scheduling and stuff. Yeah, yeah. They don't give me the tasks I want to do, so, and that disappoints me and I don't like it, so that's probably what's ruining my life. I can't think of anything else, so do better.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's what I tell those people.
Speaker 2:Good, they should do better. Yeah, that's the only option right now.
Speaker 1:So what's ruining your life?
Speaker 2:I think it is my sunburned skin and bug bites. Yeah, I apparently between myself and sick child. I'm not sure if my life partner has been having this issue as well, but between myself and sick child we have lots of bug bites on our bodies. We sleep in the same bed and apparently we just get attacked in our sleep. Never noticed it, I've never seen the bugs or anything, but we got attacked by mosquitoes yeah and it's not nice no, could be, but I'm itchy and I have bug bites on my sunburns, so like I try to itch, but it just everything hurts.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, matias, yes.
Speaker 2:I'm all out of sips.
Speaker 1:I am too, and that means we're all out of episode.
Speaker 2:Would you like to wrap this up?
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's wrap this up.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to this episode. It was really fun to make and, uh, we're glad that you people listen to us yeah, yeah, yeah. All of you, every single one of you all the people, oh, speaking of the people, I do have some fan mail I want to read. Oh, cool.
Speaker 1:Is it someone I know?
Speaker 2:I think I have to find it though.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, and I mean, when you're searching for it, I Please, I'm gonna tell the people that, please, if you have something you wanna tell us or like give us suggestions or anything, please do that.
Speaker 2:Send us a text, yes, start a conversation, anything. Please do that.
Speaker 1:Send us a text. Yes.
Speaker 2:Start a conversation.
Speaker 1:Yes, please.
Speaker 2:Here's a fan mail that I got, based off of our last episode in which we played with helium.
Speaker 1:Okay, so is it anonymous, or is it?
Speaker 2:No, I have two messages from Heather. Okay, hi, heather.
Speaker 1:Hi Heather.
Speaker 2:She says sulfur hexafluoride is a denser gas which causes the vibrations of your vocal cords to move more slowly, emitting a low, deep voice. Oh, it's a deep voice one.
Speaker 1:Sulfur hexafluoride.
Speaker 2:Okay, interesting, that's for next time, we'reulfur hexafluoride. Okay, interesting.
Speaker 1:That's for next time.
Speaker 2:We're going to YouTube that when we're done here. Yeah, Okay. She also says I recently found out that instant coffee is just pre-ground coffee beans. Okay, cool, I like to grind the beans myself. So that means my coffee isn't instant. No, I guess not. No, that's true, okay, cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, thank you for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it really shows that you're listening to us, what we say, and that's fun.
Speaker 2:We appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, you could be listening to any podcast in the world. There's millions out there, but you choose this one.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And we are eternally grateful.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Something we'd also be grateful for is if you join us for our next live Mad Libs event, which is July 12th.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Be there. Put it in your calendars. It's going to be lots of fun. We always have lots of fun. We'll be on Twitch. Yep, yep, it'll be cool.
Speaker 1:Very cool.
Speaker 2:Do you have anything else to say here?
Speaker 1:I don't think so.
Speaker 2:All right, thanks for hanging out with us. Yes, have a good life. Goodbye.
Speaker 1:Bye-bye.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to the Roasty Toasty Ghosty Podcast.
Speaker 1:If you kind of liked our episode, follow us on the social medias. We are on Instagram, tiktok and YouTube at RoastyToastyGhostyPod.
Speaker 2:And Twitch at RoastyToastyGhostyPodcast, where we play live man lives every month.
Speaker 1:Consider supporting us on Buzzsprout, where you can find deleted content and our entire movie night list.
Speaker 2:We hope you enjoyed this episode, just as we enjoyed making it.
Speaker 1:And we'll be back with another one next Tuesday on a podcast provider near you.
Speaker 2:Goodbye Mattias, goodbye Lauren.
