Roasty Toasty Ghosty
Roasty Toasty Ghosty — The comedy class no one asked for, and everyone needs.
Each week, Lauren and Mattias “teach” you something completely useless — from fake history lessons and chaotic crash courses to games, quizzes, and whatever else their sleep-deprived brains come up with. Think educational chaos… but make it funny.
Roasty Toasty Ghosty
#159: 12 Days of Breakdowns
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In which Lauren & Mattias break down the 12 days of Christmas and what they represent. They review their recent movie night films and discuss various topics such as not licking things and past hair coloring decisions.
Content:
- Opening
- Chocolate, Licorice, & Chai
- Monsters & Growing old
- Weekly check in
- Movie on!
- D2: The Mighty Ducks
- Lethal Weapon
- Intermission
- 12 Days of Christmas Breakdown
- What does every day represent?
- Wrap up
- What's ruining our lives
Don't miss this heartwarming and funny episode of Roasty Toasty Ghosty - and be sure to follow and subscribe to our podcast and join us on Instagram. Trust us, you'll want to be part of our crazy journey as we navigate life's ups and downs together.
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Beginning music - Energetic Prog Rock from AdobeStock
Intermission & ending music - Marshmallow Overload by Avocado Junkie
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Neither hosts are scientists or historians and all content displayed is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Simply put, not a single word spoken in this podcast is or should be taken seriously.
No ghosties were harmed in the making of this podcast.
Cold Open And Chocolate Talk
SPEAKER_03In a world where everything is unscripted, this is roasty, toasty, roasty.
SPEAKER_04Hi.
SPEAKER_03Hello. Okay, so do you wanna eat those now?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be munching during the episode because it kind of sounds gross. I'll eat the chocolate, but I'm gonna complain the whole time. You know, plain milk chocolate I feel is underestimated, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's still good. People are adding things to the chocolate all the time.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, I I I'm I'm a I'm a plainer.
SPEAKER_04A player?
SPEAKER_03A plainer.
SPEAKER_04Plainer.
SPEAKER_03Plain nerd.
SPEAKER_04Plain nerd. Hmm.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I like it plain, you know. I don't need much too much chocolate. Just the chocolate is good enough for me. Although some of them are pretty good, I have to say.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03D do you have favorites of the chocolate uh additions?
SPEAKER_04Hmm. Obviously peanut butter. Okay for me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But I like the salt. The sea salt.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04I like some nuts in my chocolate.
SPEAKER_03The Schweitzer Schwarzenegger nuts?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I like his nuts in my chocolate.
SPEAKER_03Okay, yes.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm. They're pretty good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, I uh I agree. I like them too. I also like his nuts. In chocolate? In chocolate. Okay. What else? Okay, I I like the Oreo.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm. Oreos and chocolate is good.
SPEAKER_03I like that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oreos are good by themselves.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that too. But in the chocolate.
SPEAKER_04I prefer to dip my Oreos in milk.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Same with my gingerbread cookies.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. But they're best dipped. Yeah, but the same with the Oreo chocolate. Do you dip that in milk?
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm. Okay. No. No, I don't.
SPEAKER_03No. No. I like the strawberry ones.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm. Those are pretty good.
SPEAKER_03That's one of my favorites, I I must say. Then there are some like crackers things. I d I'm not sure what it is really.
SPEAKER_04Those I can live without.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04I'll eat them. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna turn them down, but they're not my first choice.
SPEAKER_03Okay. No, I've uh I I I think they're pretty good.
SPEAKER_04I'm not saying they're not.
SPEAKER_03No. I mean I rather have them uh over peanut butter.
SPEAKER_04And that's like the one difference between the two of us.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Along with the list of other things.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's true, true.
SPEAKER_04I'm funny. Yeah, yes, you are.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that that's true.
SPEAKER_04That's also on the list.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's also on the list. It's debatable.
SPEAKER_04Sorry, I'm just being mean to you today. I'm sorry. It's okay. I can't help it.
SPEAKER_03No, it's okay. It's okay. You're gonna hear about it later, but no and save the drama for our uh trip.
SPEAKER_04The trip. Like, remember that one time when you said I'm not funny, and I don't like that. And now I'm stuck in the car with you for the next 30 hours, and it's all I'm gonna think about is when you said I wasn't funny. And I'm gonna s sit in the corner of the car and be all sad and be grumpy.
SPEAKER_03Depressed. Yeah. All the emotions.
SPEAKER_04So many of them.
SPEAKER_03Uh oh yeah. And also the nougat one, the chocolates. It's pretty good.
SPEAKER_04They're pretty good. Yeah. They're okay.
SPEAKER_03That's it for me.
SPEAKER_04That's it. That's the end. No, I think I wouldn't say no to pretty much any of them.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_04Uh no licorice for me though. Yeah. I don't want them.
SPEAKER_03No, blah.
SPEAKER_04Blah?
SPEAKER_03Is it licorice or is it licorice?
SPEAKER_04You know what? I've always said licorice with the ish. Even though it's spelled like ish. Uh that's something I've never understood.
SPEAKER_03No, that word confuses me so much.
SPEAKER_04I think my mom said licorice. Okay. So I said licorice. And then I saw that it was spill spilled all over the floor. Oh no. And I was like, it looks like licorice. My mom says licorice. So I don't know what to think anymore.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you're like, I'm not gonna lick that.
SPEAKER_04Ew, disgusting. It's black and gross. Looks like tar.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I don't eat that. No. I've never tried eating the road.
SPEAKER_03No, no. Neither have I.
SPEAKER_04No? Alright. You look like someone who would take a bite. Just to try. Just to see what would happen.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, put it in chocolate, maybe.
SPEAKER_04I've heard that this is good in chocolate.
SPEAKER_03Uh yeah. Yeah, I mean the thing is uh the word in Swedish is also a debate on how to pronounce.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03Like we say lochlis uh licorice.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but some people say laquis.
SPEAKER_04What? Okay. That was out of left field because I thought that you would pronounce the tea at the end, but you don't.
SPEAKER_03Uh no.
SPEAKER_04You didn't pronounce the tea either time.
SPEAKER_03No. Silent tea. Oh, by the way, I had tea today.
SPEAKER_04You didn't. This morning. Was it chai?
SPEAKER_03Chai.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03And yeah, chai means tea. Who knew?
SPEAKER_04I knew.
SPEAKER_03You knew.
SPEAKER_04It's Chinese. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Anyway.
SPEAKER_03I had chai latte. And that means milk.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Not Chinese though.
SPEAKER_04I don't think no, that's not Chinese.
SPEAKER_03Is it Italian?
SPEAKER_04I think so. Yeah. Huh. Alright. So we've got Chinese Italian beverage.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think uh chai might be tea in Italian too. It's called chai in Greek too.
SPEAKER_04What about latte?
SPEAKER_03I I don't think that's uh milk. Or uh I don't think that's Greek.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
Day-To-Day Life And Work Updates
SPEAKER_03I don't know. But yes, I had two cups of it this morning. They're pretty small cups, so I I wanted it. It was Friday and you know.
SPEAKER_04It was.
SPEAKER_03It's still am. No, it still is.
SPEAKER_04It is. For a couple more hours.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Alright, shall we?
SPEAKER_03Maybe we can.
SPEAKER_04I really want to get into this because I I want to get to the second half. Yeah. Because I'm really excited about that part.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the segment.
SPEAKER_04It's gonna be really good today. So let's get through this.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Would you like to open this up?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, let's open this thing up.
SPEAKER_04Look what I got. We're like twinsies.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I missed it. You're too fast.
SPEAKER_03You call me fat.
SPEAKER_04You're too fat.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I am.
SPEAKER_04I missed it. You were in the way. That's okay.
SPEAKER_03That's okay. You don't like it?
SPEAKER_04I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04You know, I'm getting a little sad, a little disappointed. I think I'm growing up.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. You know the chocolate orange ice cream that I had today?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It was meh. Yeah, well, no, I don't care about your opinion. Because I usually like the chocolate orange. And this was just meh.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean maybe you weigh up.
SPEAKER_04Wow. Alright. Alright. And then the monster. It's a green monster. I used to drink these like all the time. And it's also like meh.
SPEAKER_03It's without sugar.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but even I'm sure they taste like the same to me.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04I don't I I don't taste the difference. Okay. I won't think. Sure. Okay. Why? Can I can I take some of yours?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, not that much though. I'm gonna take some of yours.
SPEAKER_04Do it.
SPEAKER_03Meh.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, meh. I mean that one almost tasted a little watered down to me.
SPEAKER_03This one is better.
SPEAKER_04This one is just like too much of the flavor. So I'm just I'm concerned. I think I'm becoming an adult. I don't care for it.
SPEAKER_03You're saying you're getting old?
SPEAKER_04I'm getting old.
SPEAKER_03Yes, you are.
SPEAKER_04I don't want to grow up.
SPEAKER_03No, I never grow up.
SPEAKER_04You're not gonna.
SPEAKER_03No?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_03I'm always gonna be a kid. That's how it is. Hey, is it you or me?
SPEAKER_04I I'm not me. I'm you. No? Wait, what?
SPEAKER_03Okay, I'm gonna start now. Go. Hello and welcome to Roasty Toasty Coasty. Ho ho ho. My name is Matthias.
SPEAKER_04And I'm Lauren. And we are gonna be your besties for an hour or so. That's right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And this is the podcast in which you will learn nothing at all.
SPEAKER_03Or will you?
SPEAKER_04Actually, I think you might learn something today.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04And we're gonna laugh.
SPEAKER_03Okay, good.
SPEAKER_04Oh boy, we're gonna laugh. We have so much to laugh about today.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're gonna laugh. And whether it's real or fake, we're gonna laugh.
SPEAKER_04It's definitely we're g definitely gonna laugh.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay. Real.
SPEAKER_04Real laugh.
SPEAKER_03Okay, not fake.
SPEAKER_04No. That would be it wasn't that funny.
SPEAKER_03Okay. But that was my real laugh.
SPEAKER_04Okay, alright.
SPEAKER_03You can tell.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04So um Matias. Yes. How are you doing?
SPEAKER_03I'm doing well. How are you?
SPEAKER_04I'm good.
SPEAKER_03Have you had a good day?
SPEAKER_04I have. I have.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Have you? Yeah. It's been pretty chill at work. Good. Hmm? So it was nice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Has it been like super busy lately? Yeah. Like previous days?
SPEAKER_03It has been busier ear earlier weeks. Mm-hmm after Black Friday. Previous weeks, but I'm working at the place where it's not much to do anymore. Because now we're more focusing on the private customers. And I'm not at that department right now.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, it was a good day.
SPEAKER_04Good.
SPEAKER_03Really nice.
SPEAKER_04Let's talk about last weekend.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Last Saturday I uh taught gymnastics.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And it went really well. Oh, good. Okay. I convinced my daughter to come with me because she's not in my group anymore. She does gymnastics for another team now. But I convinced her to come with me. And another one of my old gymnasts was convinced to join us that time as well, which was unexpected. So I got really excited. And it just went so well. I love my gymnast.
SPEAKER_01Good.
SPEAKER_04It is one of my favorite things to do at the moment is to teach these girls just new skills. And then the most rewarding part is when they just like throw back handsprings and such out of nowhere. When it just like kind of happens. Yeah. And is like amazing. And yeah, I get emotional over it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay. So you were crying?
SPEAKER_04Um, no, not at the moment, but I get like really excited, so I'm like, ah, okay, okay. Um and then I cry later. But it I don't know. For some reason it's become kind of an emotional thing because there's a background here, okay? Because when I was growing up and doing gymnastics and stuff, um, I had a huge fear of going backwards, okay? It was a mental block. I could do it, I could do the back hand springs and stuff, you know, flickies and everything. But I had a mental block that just stopped me. It made me look really bad. But my mom always supported me and she uh did like literally everything to help me, you know, get past it. I never really did get past it until I mean even now, I I can it's easier for me now to go backwards, but it can't be like whenever I have to like be in a certain state of mind, you know? So seeing these girls be able to do the things that I couldn't do, it just it makes me really proud. And it just makes me think of my mom a lot.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04And how she was like always there, and I know that she would be really proud of me. So that's what I did on Saturday.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04Also, I I don't know what else I did on Saturday. I think I worked. I think I worked last weekend at some point. I don't really remember when, but yeah, maybe. I don't know. Anyway, I also watched movies with my life partner that evening.
SPEAKER_03So yeah. That's nice.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I don't know. I didn't I don't think I did much on Saturday. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I don't think I saw you.
SPEAKER_03No, I don't think so either. Anyway. Anyway, uh well I I think I was just editing. Mm-hmm. Because I tend to do that a lot now.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Uh but you did things on Sunday.
SPEAKER_03On Sunday I did things. Okay. Yes. So Sunday, me and my family, my mom and dad and sister, uh her daughter, my niece.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03Uh we went to my cousin and uh visited. And yeah, it was nice. We went there, had FICA, watched TV, looked at his place and everything, you know. Uh met other people there, and then uh after that we went and we ate out. I had a pizza.
SPEAKER_04You ate pizza.
SPEAKER_03I ate pizza. Alright. And you wanna know the best part of this?
SPEAKER_04Sure.
SPEAKER_03Is that uh they were making my pizza but it got a little too burnt. So they made another one.
SPEAKER_04You got two pizzas.
SPEAKER_03Then I got the other the burnt one to take home. So I ate that uh the day after. Nice.
SPEAKER_04You got two pizzas. That's nice.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Should be like you need to make mistakes more often. Yeah. Let's see. Sunday. Okay, so I don't know if you remember, but last episode I was talking about I um hurt myself while dancing. Right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay, so by Sunday it had gotten better, right? I could walk and everything felt pretty okay. It felt like it was going away. And then I went grocery shopping and it started coming back. I was like, okay, let's see uh where this goes. Because I was planning on going to gymnastics later.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then I was thinking, well, it's starting to come back a bit. I mean, this pain in my calf. And um, yeah, uh, I don't know. I'll see what happens. So uh despite my life partner saying, no, stay home because you're hurting, I still went to gymnastics.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And um, yeah, it had gotten worse, and I tried like doing a couple flips on the trampoline thing, and my entire calf tightened up to the point where it was like a rock, and I was supposed to run and jump on the trampoline, and I could not get the speed. So I was like doing a half run and then like just jumping onto the trampoline and jumping down again. Yeah. Because I had zero height with the speed that I I had.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04So I had to sit out for the rest of the time. And I was like, I don't really want to go home. I came all this way to do two flips, and I don't know. So I sat and I watched for the rest of the time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so you couldn't do anything.
Family Visits, Pizza Win, And A Calf Injury
SPEAKER_04I could not do anything because it was it hurt so bad. And I was just at first I was like really frustrated. It was like, really? Why? Why does this have to happen? Yeah. Why me? And then I kind of got over it and I just I like to watch as well. Um, which is what makes me want to participate.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04After you know, watching like I can do that too. I'm gonna show you that I can do that. Yeah. But it's also good like training as a leader or gymnastics coach to like be able to watch them and see what they're doing wrong and how they could have done it better.
SPEAKER_00Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, I I used it as a learning opportunity instead of being frustrated the entire evening. Of course, I'm sad, but it was okay. And then I went home. I did leave uh before everyone else. Yeah. Because I was just like, I I have to go home. I'm in so much pain. I can't be here anymore. Uh but yeah, that was my Sunday.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And so yeah, this week I've just been taking it easy, trying to rest my leg so I can come back and continue doing the things I like to do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So I mean, you I haven't even really done homework out this week. It's been homework on the couch.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay. Uh I um uh I mean, I I've been to work this week, but uh I've been so tired the entire week.
SPEAKER_04Day shift.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yep. I got my hair done on Tuesday.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_04Um, my daughter and I went to the salon and we got our hair colored. It was the first time my daughter got permanent hair coloring. Okay. And she uh went blonde. And she was already like a strawberry blonde-ish. Yeah. But now she's a brighter blonde. And but it it kind of looks cool because her old color still kind of comes through. So it looks like there's highlights of her old color instead of the blonde highlights. It's kind of cool. I like it. My hair is a little bit darker than I wanted it to be, but it's still okay. What do you think?
SPEAKER_03It looks nice. Good.
SPEAKER_04Is it too dark? Uh well, in here it's dark.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't know if it's a big deal.
SPEAKER_04I'm assuming that you looked before.
SPEAKER_03I did. Uh I don't know if it's too dark. It's it looks good.
SPEAKER_04Does it look okay on me? Yeah. Okay. Cause I wasn't expecting going on vacation with darker hair.
SPEAKER_03But I I mean, I've seen darker.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I have been black before. Yeah. Well, my hair was black. Yeah. Uh it's a time in my life I was black. No, uh. It's also been blue. It's been a very bright blue.
SPEAKER_03I remember that.
SPEAKER_04That was fun. And my life partner was mentioning maybe bringing that back.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I was like, that was a cool color.
SPEAKER_03That was like before we were friends.
SPEAKER_04It was. It was in like twenty seventeen. 2018-ish.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because you you had that when I got back to work.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that was 2018.
SPEAKER_04It was Christmas time. Yeah. So I had like the blue silverish hair, which is what we were talking about. Maybe I should do that again. Maybe. We'll see. I don't know. It was fun. But like I said, I'm an adult now. So maybe I'm too old for these things.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, maybe you are. You should just have gray hair.
SPEAKER_04I think so. You know what? I'm gonna skip everything. I'm just gonna go straight to silver.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I mean, some people do that and it looks pretty good. Or white. Some people. White might be fun. And then I can do whatever I want.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04If I bleach it so much that it turns white, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03No. Sounds sounds like a good idea, I think.
SPEAKER_04It's also kind of a form of rebellion because my mom never let me dye my hair. I wasn't allowed. Yeah. She was like, you're not allowed to grow old. I was like, alright, fine. She's like, you're not allowed to dye your hair either. I was like, okay. And I do that now. I dye my hair just because she said, no. And you know what? I let my daughter dye her hair just because my mom told me I couldn't.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04I'm an adult now. I do what I want. Can't tell me what to do. So that's something that happened this week. Yeah. I mean, I haven't really done that much because of my leg. I've been healing this week.
SPEAKER_00It's the same for me.
SPEAKER_04I've been healing. Healing. Yeah. Your mind, your body, and your soul.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I tried to heal my brain because I'm so tired.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that didn't work. No, no. No. Give it a couple days.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um, alright. Well, do you have anything else?
SPEAKER_03Uh no.
SPEAKER_04I feel like I probably should have had something else. Oh yeah. Last weekend we made the gingerbread houses. You and I both ordered I'm sorry. You ordered two boxes of gingerbread houses and gave one to me.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And we expected them to be like one big gingerbread house, but it ended up being a whole bunch of little gingerbread houses.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I I never touched it.
SPEAKER_04You haven't opened it yet. No. You're free to open it whenever.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I know, but I have other things to do.
SPEAKER_04You can still eat and I think I edit at the same time.
SPEAKER_03I think I might just eat it, yes. And not building. You don't have to. No. You are I'm an adult. No, I'm I'm a kid. You're a kid. I don't want to build.
SPEAKER_04But you bought it, so you do whatever you want with it.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So that was that.
SPEAKER_03That was that.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. I completely forgot about Saturday. No, I did talk about Saturday, but that's not all that happened on Saturday.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04My son, when I got back home from gymnastics on Saturday, uh, my son, my oldest son, decided that he wanted to go to the mall.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04In Stockholm.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
Hair Color Adventures And Growing Up Jokes
SPEAKER_04So I was like, ugh, okay. I mean, I let my daughter go shopping every now and then too. So I figured I have to be fair. So we went. And we went to a couple stores. He got what he wanted. And then we went home.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04It was quick and easy. And we Oh, there was a there was an exhibit in the mall with all these Christmas lights. It was so cool. And a little like train in there. You would have loved it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_04It was really cool. Um, yeah. Today's Friday.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_04It's December 12th. Because we've been opening up Advent calendars this month.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And we all opened up number 12 today. So that tells me. No, you didn't.
SPEAKER_03We didn't.
SPEAKER_04Uh you already ate your chocolate calendar, right?
SPEAKER_03No, I I only up opened to eleven. Because I never I mean, I I went to work this morning and I You don't open it in the morning? No.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03I uh do it uh when I get home. Okay.
SPEAKER_04We've been opening calendars in the morning.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Yeah, well uh when in the morning do you open?
SPEAKER_04Before the kids go to school.
SPEAKER_03Cause I I leave at like 5 30. Mm-hmm. So uh and I brush my teeth and you know everything.
SPEAKER_04So I don't wanna That's where you're going wrong. You brush your teeth.
SPEAKER_03I shouldn't brush my teeth.
SPEAKER_04You shouldn't brush your teeth.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Eat chocolate instead. Brushing teeth can wait until you get home. Yeah. You need to switch those two. Priorities, Matias. Eat your chocolate and then brush your teeth later.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04At the same time when you would actually be opening the calendar.
SPEAKER_03But you know, what's good about this is that I'm uh gonna open two uh tomorrow. 12 and 13.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's nice.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that is pretty nice.
SPEAKER_03And I already got my chocolate today, so yeah.
SPEAKER_04We just ate chocolate.
SPEAKER_03We did. And apparently that's a tradition now.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_03I just made it one.
SPEAKER_04Right, because the first Christmas episode we had the Aladdin box. Did we have another one? Or what did we do in last Christmas?
SPEAKER_00I don't remember.
SPEAKER_04Anyway, it is December 12th.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_04And we watched movies.
SPEAKER_00We did.
SPEAKER_04Would you like to move on?
SPEAKER_00Let's move on.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So tonight we watched Mighty Ducks 2.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And Lethal Weapon.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So please tell me about Mighty Ducks 2.
SPEAKER_03Yes. This uh is a movie with Emilio Esteves uh playing Gordon Bombay. He doesn't like Iceland, so he wants to beat them in a hockey game. So he gathers all his uh previous hockey players from the last movie, and then he adds some new ones. Keenan Thompson?
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah, from Keenan and Cal.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And SNL.
SPEAKER_04Have you have you heard of all that?
SPEAKER_03I've heard of it, but You didn't you never saw it?
SPEAKER_04No. With Amanda? Amanda Bynes. Bynes. Right. I think that's where Rosie O'Donnell was.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04I think that's what I was thinking of. I think she had a segment on that show. I could be wrong. Because I didn't really get to watch it that much.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04But I remember that it was something that I wanted to see.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Anyway, that was way off topic. Yeah. But um yes. Okay. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, uh, he gathers the uh hockey team to beat the Iceland people. Because they're evil.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Kind of.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, they were competing internationally.
SPEAKER_03Yes. In this movie, he doesn't make them worse, he just makes them better.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And uh Keenan Thompson has a special move that's kind of funny and cool.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Uh did I forget something?
SPEAKER_04Mm. I'm not sure. I don't think so. I think that's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, he he gets a little greedy as well.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. He likes the commercial stuff a little too much.
SPEAKER_04So maybe if the team did get a little worse, it was because of that.
SPEAKER_03He lost focus. But it was an intentional like in the last movie.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03Yes, that's true. Good point. Um, yeah, and that was that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh so what did you think about this movie?
SPEAKER_04I enjoyed this movie. I uh um I liked the new characters that came in. Yeah. And I liked that Iceland was the bad guys because that just makes sense. But I don't I don't want to say too much bad about Iceland because for some reason I'm like all superstitious now. Yeah. I I feel like uh I don't want to say too many bad things about things that may come.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly. That can yeah.
SPEAKER_04I don't need any karma coming at me here.
SPEAKER_03For reals though, I feel like uh Iceland is a pretty good and uh neutral country.
Advent Calendars And December Traditions
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh did you hear that, God?
SPEAKER_04Iceland, can you hear me? You're not that bad.
SPEAKER_03So yes. What did you say about this movie? You liked it.
SPEAKER_04It was good.
SPEAKER_03It was good.
SPEAKER_04It was good. What did what how did you um what did you think about the movie?
SPEAKER_03How did you like it?
SPEAKER_04How did you think about the movie? What?
SPEAKER_03Uh how I thought about the movie.
SPEAKER_01Well, first.
SPEAKER_03Uh no, uh I I liked it, but I st I preferred the first one. Uh thought that was a little bit better, but uh I usually like the second ones, but not this time. But I still like the movie. It was entertaining. There was a referee guy who reminded me a little bit of Donald Trump.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah. He at first he looked a little bit like Donald Trump. A younger one.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then you could tell it wasn't him.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. But uh like last week you saw all different kinds of actors. Um did you see any actors?
SPEAKER_04Daniel LaRusso. I saw him. Oh yeah. Um, yeah. Uh what's his name? Michael. No. What's his name?
SPEAKER_03Michael?
SPEAKER_04Who who no, not Michael, but um Daniel LaRusso.
SPEAKER_03Oh, uh Ralph Macho? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It was him. And also uh the movie started off like karate kid.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it did. He hurt his knee. Yeah. It was like money.
SPEAKER_04Money. Um but I mean they where were they? Where was the tournament? It wasn't in Iceland.
SPEAKER_03No, I don't know where it was, but they flew there.
SPEAKER_04They flew somewhere. Yeah. So, I mean, in the second karate kid, he flew to Japan. Yeah. And this one, they flew somewhere else to meet foreign people. So I'm still comparing it to karate kids.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Makes sense.
SPEAKER_04Mm.
SPEAKER_03I yeah.
SPEAKER_04And there was a kid who looked like karate. A little Daniel LaRusso or Ralph McMurk Marchio.
SPEAKER_03Mark Mark. MacMark.
SPEAKER_04Mark Mark. Okay. Yeah. Anything else?
SPEAKER_03Uh no, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_04Alright, then I'm gonna tell you about Lethal Weapon.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_04Something I failed to mention last week with the movie that we watched. We watched Cobra.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It was a Christmas movie. Lethal Weapon is also a Christmas movie. Yes. Because it's set in Christmas. And it's a movie with uh Mel Gibson and Danny Glover is in this movie. Yeah. And um they are cops, and Mel Gibson is a bit suicidal, so it makes him a little crazy, uh risky, but he's really good at shooting. And uh Gary Busey is in this movie. Yeah. And he's a bad guy.
SPEAKER_00Oh yes.
SPEAKER_04And so they are trying to solve a mystery about how or a murder. Murder mystery. Yes. And um Gary Busey is behind everything. And they beat up some bad guys. Well, they mostly shoot at them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And that's what happened.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
Movie Night Setup
SPEAKER_04There was a helicopter as well.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04Alright, I think that's all I have to say about that. What do you think about this movie? And also what did I miss?
SPEAKER_03Um I feel like you got the story right and everything.
SPEAKER_02Cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And I um did I and do I like this movie?
SPEAKER_02Do you?
SPEAKER_03Uh I kinda do. I kinda love this movie so much.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03Actually. Uh I uh it's oh I I don't know uh it's it's so difficult for me when I love movies so much to, you know, explain how much I actually do.
SPEAKER_04Okay. I'm gonna ask why. Why do you love this movie?
SPEAKER_03Um, because it um um I really like the buddy cop movies and this one sets the bar so high for it and I it has uh yeah, I I think that this is the best franchise, one of the best franchises I know, movie franchise. Uh and um not spoiled too much about the but I feel like it has a pretty good quality consistency. It's good from the first movie to the last.
SPEAKER_04Uh all of them. All of them are there's like four?
Mighty Ducks 2 Recap And Reactions
SPEAKER_03Four. Okay. And uh yeah, I usually there are some franchises that just dip solo and it's like uh I'm not not worth them. Yeah. Not worth watching them. This franchise, I feel like it keeps the quality. I love all these movies. So I think that's also part of it. I mean I sure it has flaws. It's like in this movie, you know, the fight at the end with Mel Gibson and Gary Busey. Uh-huh. It's a little bit shaky and close up so you don't really see everything. But that's a nitpick and uh I still love the movie.
SPEAKER_04Also, the lighting was a little iffy because you couldn't really see all the time what exactly what was going on. What exactly what what what exactly was going on.
SPEAKER_03No, yeah, in the fight, you mean Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And uh So it could have been a little bit brighter.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Even though it was a night scene. So I don't know. Usually they figure that out.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04But maybe there was a choice.
SPEAKER_03Maybe. And I mean it was also uh wet, so that also made it more difficult to see. But I still love this movie. Uh and it's set at Christmas. I have a thing for that too. Movies set at Christmas, I really like them. And it has nice Christmas songs, and yeah, I I feel this one is um very Christmassy too. Like I said during the movie, fun fact that the weapon Mel Gibson has in this movie is the exact same weapon Bruce Willis has in Die Hard.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Which is also a Christmas movie?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_04According to you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, according to me. And uh this one as well. I I kind of prefer this one over Die Hard though.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03I'm one of those. That's what I have to say right now. What do you think about this movie?
SPEAKER_04I enjoyed the movie as well.
SPEAKER_03Good.
SPEAKER_04There was a lot that was going on. It was good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, also I think it's the chemistry between Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I like Mel Gibson's character in this one. He was he was fun.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, him and Danny Glover, they're so perfect together. And I like uh Danny Glover's character too. A family man, you know. You know, teaming up with this young loose canon.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Such a good premise. So yeah, I love this movie.
SPEAKER_04Good. Anything else?
SPEAKER_03No. Do you have anything else to say about the movie?
SPEAKER_04I don't think so.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_04I think that feels pretty good. Alright. Well, then we'll go for a break. Yeah, that's all right. Stick around for the next part because it's gonna be fun.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Right? Alright.
SPEAKER_02I hope so.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, no, it will. Okay. No, you gotta trust me.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Would you like to take a break?
SPEAKER_03Let's take a break.
SPEAKER_04We'll be right back. Alright, we're back. Sorry. And we're back. We are. I didn't mean to steal your your thunder. Your light.
SPEAKER_03Thunder and lightning.
SPEAKER_04I didn't mean to steal any of your stormy traits. Uh yes, we are back.
SPEAKER_03We are.
SPEAKER_04And I have a special gift for you. Okay, cool. Yes. It is a very fun second half of the episode.
SPEAKER_03Awesome.
SPEAKER_04And it's Christmas themed. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Just in time for our karaoke night for Man Libs.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Tomorrow. Which already happened. Oh, yeah. By the time everyone hears this. So, Christmas karaoke themed second half.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I would like to break down the twelve days of Christmas.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04For you.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03One song.
SPEAKER_04Just the one song. And I want to tell you everything about it. Good. Everything that I learned. Okay. And then some. Okay, so brought to you by Open Eyes, because I can't come up with anything myself. No. Okay, so the twelve days of Christmas. What each day represents?
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm. Uh so I I have a question though.
SPEAKER_04Already? Okay. Yeah. I haven't said any.
SPEAKER_03I mean, uh, is are those from like today or tomorrow from 13?
SPEAKER_04I think so, because today is number 12.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So we would technically be working backwards.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Because uh in Sweden we have this calendar with 24 uh yeah, from the start of December until Christmas Eve.
SPEAKER_04Right. So I I think that we're already starting the 12 days of Christmas now.
SPEAKER_03Okay, that's perfect.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Look at us being cool.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's like we planned this.
SPEAKER_04Almost. Okay, so officially the song itself is just a cumulative Christmas carol. There is no original religious or symbolic meaning documented. It's basically a humorous, memory, and counting song from the 1700s.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So old.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's that old.
SPEAKER_03It's an old one.
SPEAKER_04However, over time people have attached symbolic interpretations, usually Christian. Even though historians say these weren't original to the song. So we're gonna go through the gifts and their literal meaning and the common but not original symbolic interpretation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So let me guess. This is gonna be 12 points or Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yes. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Or are you gonna repeat them later? Like in the song? Maybe.
SPEAKER_04There might be a little repetition here.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04So the first day of Christmas was a partridge in a pear tree. Pear tree.
SPEAKER_00Okay, what's the the fruit? Partridge partridge.
SPEAKER_04A partridge is a bird sitting in a fruit tree.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_04Um, which is supposed to represent Jesus. Uh The pear tree is supposed to be a cross and the partridge is protective love. Okay. Okay. Uh and Jesus, I guess, is a bird.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, okay. So someone nailed the bird to the tree?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. An act of love.
SPEAKER_03I love you, bird.
unknownOh god.
SPEAKER_04Okay. The second day of Christmas was two turtle doves, which is they're a pair of doves.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04Which represents the old and new testaments.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I'm thinking there are turtles with wings.
SPEAKER_04Yes. That's what a turtle dove is, I think. Uh turtles who want to fly. It's like, oh, there's a there's a character in Mario, the Mario World. Where it's a turtle with wings.
SPEAKER_03That's true. Yeah. Okay, that's a turtle dove.
SPEAKER_04He's a turtle dove.
SPEAKER_03Makes sense now.
SPEAKER_04The third day of Christmas. You brought three French hens. They're fancy chickens.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, French hens.
SPEAKER_04They're French.
SPEAKER_03What's uh hen in French? Le hen. Le hen.
SPEAKER_04Le hen. Le hen. Yeah. I don't I don't quite remember if I learned it's uh Aloette. It's a bird. I don't know. They're fancy chickens, and they represent faith, hope, and charity.
SPEAKER_03So they say ha ha ha ha.
SPEAKER_04Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's what they do. Okay. Number four. Four calling birds. And they're songbirds.
SPEAKER_03There's a lot of birds. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna get to that. I'm getting there.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04All the things you're gonna say, I'm gonna mention later. Okay. Okay. So the calling birds are songbirds, and they represent four gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. So these birds have names.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04So they should have been the Beatles.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm thinking so too.
SPEAKER_04Why aren't the birds named John Paul Ringo? Paul Ringo. Yeah, that would make more sense.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and uh so they're to me it sounds like they're birds on the phone.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, they're calling each other. It's the Beatles in a four-way phone call. Yeah. Also singing to each other over the phone.
SPEAKER_03Do Beatles have a song where they call each other?
SPEAKER_04You know my name? Look up the number. I don't know. That's all I've got for that.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Uh five golden rings.
SPEAKER_03Okay, that's not a bird.
SPEAKER_04Wait, not jewelry.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04It is originally ring-necked pheasants. Birds again.
SPEAKER_02Ah.
SPEAKER_04So they're supposed to represent the first five books of the Old Testament.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04More birds. Okay. Six. Geese laying. Yes. Which are egg-laying geese. And they're supposed to represent six days of creation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, or just lazy geese.
SPEAKER_04Lazy geese. And last I knew, creation does not require six days. It takes like two minutes.
SPEAKER_03What? What did you say?
SPEAKER_04Creation. Ah, okay. It takes about two minutes. Not six days. Okay. Unless you're really working for it.
unknownAlright.
SPEAKER_04Seven swans of swimming are swans on water. They represent seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't have anything any comments for that.
SPEAKER_04Cool. Eight maids of milking, which are women working, and they represent eight beatitudes.
SPEAKER_03Okay, that's birds.
SPEAKER_04They're not birds, they are women.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Nine ladies dancing, more women.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so now it m jumps over to women.
SPEAKER_04To people. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So no-before it was birds, now it's people. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Now we've got dancers. They represent nine fruits of the spirit. Uh what are these fruits? Can you name nine fruits?
SPEAKER_03N nine fruits. Yeah. Which Okay, apple, pears, oranges, mango, banana. Is that a fruit?
SPEAKER_04Sure. We'll say it.
SPEAKER_03How many was that? Five. Five. Four more.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. What are your favorites?
SPEAKER_03Kiwi. And uh peaches. Peach. Two more. Two more. Two more. Umur. I need tumor.
SPEAKER_04Two more.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay. Papaya.
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03And the last one, of course, is Come on, you got this. What am I missing?
SPEAKER_04Pizza.
SPEAKER_03Oh, is that a fruit? No, pineapple. Yes.
SPEAKER_04Good job.
SPEAKER_03Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Alright. Ten Lords Aleaping.
SPEAKER_03Did I uh answer the fruits uh correctly?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That was nine fruits of the spirit.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so those are the actual because I I'm that good.
SPEAKER_04Those are the fruits of the spirit. Oh cool. Yes. All nine of them. Ten Lords Aleaping are noble men who are jumping.
SPEAKER_03Okay, now it's men.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and they represent Ten Commandments.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Eleven Pipers Piping are musicians. And they represent eleven faithful apostles.
SPEAKER_03It sounds like plumbers to me.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's Mario and his friends.
SPEAKER_04That could be Mario.
SPEAKER_03And then that makes sense with the turtle dove. Yeah. They they meet somewhere there. Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_04And twelve drummers drumming, which are drummers, and they represent twelve points of the apostles' creed.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so Ringo is one.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. He's one of them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's the important one.
SPEAKER_04Also, so why all the birds?
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04Because the early verses of the song date back to a time when birds were luxury gifts, like giving someone a purebred dog today. Uh birds were food. Partridges, hens, pheasants, geese, and swans were all part of noble or festive meals.
SPEAKER_03Okay. No turkeys?
SPEAKER_04I guess not. They didn't eat turkeys yet. The song likely began as a party game where players tried to remember a growing list. Birds were easy and funny items to stack. Uh there are 23 birds by t day six and almost thirty by the end, depending on the version. So it's a total of 28 birds. And what are you supposed to do with all these birds?
SPEAKER_03I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Historically, you eat them. They were festive poultry.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I would say that's a lot of birds.
Break And Tease For The Second Half
SPEAKER_04Uh, in modern interpretation, you would need a large backyard, a bird sanctuary license, a noise ordinance exemption, and possibly several apologies to your neighbors.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I have uh an idea what you can do with the birds. You can flip them at people.
SPEAKER_04Flip them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, flipping the birds at people.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay. Alright. Practically speaking, many people joke the true love is either trolling you or trying to start a poultry farm in your yard, or proving affection in the least practical way possible. So what is the purpose of all the gifts in the song? Yeah, possibly a cumulative memory game in which each verse adds a new item, and the singer must repeat the entire list of perfectly. But it's not originally symbolic or anything like that. It's not originally a Christian song.
SPEAKER_02No, okay.
SPEAKER_04So all of those representations were made up later.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So I wanted to know about the origin of the song, who wrote it, and like when, and everything about whoever came up with this. And apparently the original author is unknown.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04It's a first appearance was in print in 1780 in London. The source is a children's book titled Mirth Without Mischief.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
The Twelve Days Of Christmas: Origins And Meanings
SPEAKER_04It's a very old book. But the earliest version wasn't even printed with music. It appeared as a recitation game.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04Not quite a song. So originally it wasn't even a song.
SPEAKER_03Even more boring.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I'm not saying that the song is boring, it's just very repetitive.
SPEAKER_04Right. But the melody does have a known source.
SPEAKER_03Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_04The modern tune and structure was arranged by Frederick Austin, an English composer and baritone. But I think he was just a composer when it came to this song. I don't think he actually sang in any of the files on Spotify.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04So this was 1909. So like 200 years later, right? After the original 12 Days of Christmas uh words.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, lists.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Started.
SPEAKER_03That's such a weird idea. Oh, look at this old list. Hey, let's make a song out of it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And today's version is not exactly the original version.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay. So it's mostly the same, but the four calling birds were originally collie birds. C-O-L-L-Y. Okay. Which means black as coal. So they were blackbirds.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I I've heard a song about that.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah. Blackbirds? By the Beatles.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Okay. Or one blackbird.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Just to one.
SPEAKER_04And then, yeah, we had the five gold rings still, but they originally meant the ring-necked pheasants. Um the drummers were originally nine drummers drumming instead of twelve.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04But now it's nine ladies dancing. And then the pipers were originally ten. Ten pipers piping. But today it's Lords a leaping.
SPEAKER_03Okay. How many pipers?
SPEAKER_04Uh there's ten pipers originally.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Eleven dancing ladies. And then twelve Lords a leaping. Okay. But now it's drummers drumming. So the ten, eleven, twelve or yeah, the nine, ten, eleven, twelve parts were mixed up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04Uh so yeah, that's the original version, which I was hoping would be a lot more interesting and uh different, but that's not the case. The case, exactly. Alright, so honestly, these are all gifts from someone who is supposed to love you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and okay, yeah, thank you for all the birds and the women and men.
SPEAKER_04So I complained to open eyes. Okay. I said, honestly, I would leave my true love if he gave me all of these things. There's too many birds and people. And what if he leaves me for one of the Milky Maids?
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That was my word. Milky maids. And OpenEyes said, that's a completely fair reaction. By day eight, your home has turned into a chaotic mix of livestock, strangers, dancers, aristocrats, musicians, and poultry, but no evidence of basic communication skills from your true love. So number one, here is the bird situation alone is a red flag.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Definitely.
SPEAKER_04By modern standards, receiving 28 birds means you're basically being forced into running a bird sanctuary, a petting zoo, a meat medieval banquet hall, or some kind of chaotic aviary-based MLM scheme. What is that? Do you know? MLM scheme.
SPEAKER_03It's not live mad libs, but if it was LML, then it would be like maybe they've uh uh screwed it up and meant that it's a live mad lib scheme.
SPEAKER_04Maybe. So you're absolutely justified in questioning the relationship at this point.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Madlibs mmm.
SPEAKER_04Matias.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, madlibs Matthews. Of course. That's how people know me.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04The maids of milking is a bigger red flag. Alright, so eight random women show up at your house ready to milk your cows, which you don't even own. Oh. And your true love didn't ask if you need a dairy staff.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_04Didn't ask if you even drink milk.
SPEAKER_03No, maybe you can't you don't you can't drink milk. No.
SPEAKER_04Maybe you're What if you're lactose intolerant? That's what I was asking. Or you don't even have cows. They just came and they're like, We're here to milk your cows. And I'm like, I don't even have cows. And he didn't even clarify whether these maids are employees, volunteers, or a cult.
SPEAKER_03Slaves.
SPEAKER_04Right. You now have eight strangers living on your property. There is very little that screams, I respect boundaries here. And then the dancing ladies and leaping lords.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm. Okay, strippers. Right.
SPEAKER_04And uh um male streep streepers. Streepers. Streepers. Strippers. Yeah. Okay, by this point the household population is increasing exponentially. Because you've got nine dancers, ten leaping lords, ten eleven pipers, and twelve drummers. So your true love is essentially starting a renaissance fair in your living room without your consent.
SPEAKER_03And I'm thinking so many drummers. It's gonna be so loud.
SPEAKER_04So loud. And the piping? Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04And so what if he leaves me for one of the milking maids?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So let's be real here. Okay? If he is the type to send you 28 birds and 40 plus hired performers and eight dairy employees without checking whether you want any of this, then leaving you for a milking maid is honestly among the least chaotic possibilities. So the bigger question is why does he have the phone number of eight available milking maids in the first place?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04This is concerning. Also, the milking maids are probably too busy milking imaginary cows to date anyone.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. They're probably not milking the cows. Oh god. What I mean.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. Yeah, okay, so the real relationship insight. This gift giving style suggests he's performing a fantasy instead of listening to your actual needs. He's showing off rather than connecting. He's giving chaos instead of care. A truly loving partner gives things you want, things that make your life easier, and maybe a nice dinner out. Not eight live humans and a flock of honking geese. In other words, you have every right to leave him. Even the partridge agrees.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. In the tree. In the tree. Nailed to the tree.
SPEAKER_04Nailed to the tree. So now we're going to write a breakup letter to my true love. Okay. We're ending this song.
SPEAKER_00So it's not really the true love.
Why The Song Is Mostly Birds And What That Says
SPEAKER_04He's not your true love. Because you didn't want any of this. No. And he doesn't care.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_04He's just getting whatever he wants.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04A bunch of birds.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and say that it's for you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So you're gonna be happy about it.
SPEAKER_04He's just trying to cover up all the ladies with the birds and all the other people so he can run off with them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, look at the birds.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, look at the birds. I got you birds. Why? I'll be right back.
SPEAKER_00Flipping birds.
SPEAKER_04Alright. Here is my breakup letter to my true love. Yeah. Okay? Okay. Dear true love, because that's his name.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I never got the chance to ask his name. But he's my true love.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean uh his first name is true. I think. Last name is Love.
SPEAKER_04Maybe.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay. I've taken some time to reflect, ideally in silence, though your eleven Pipers made that part difficult. And I've realized I need to be honest with you. While I appreciate the spirit behind your gifts, the sheer volume of birds, performers, and dairy staff has turned my home into something between a medieval marketplace and a very confused zoo. I believe affection should arrive in forms that don't require extensive shoveling, noise cancelling tools, or zoning approvals. I value my space, my peace, and the ability to walk through my own living room without tripping over a swan. I need a relationship grounded in communication, not in escalating deliveries of livestock. I need gifts chosen with my comfort in mind. Not ones that make me question whether you're planning to relocate an entire village into my front yard. I'm setting a boundary now. I cannot continue a relationship where my needs are drowned out by drummers, overshadowed by leaping nobles, or threatened by the existential glare of a partridge. Please take care, and please take the geese with you. They know what they did. Warm regards, Lauren. That's me. Yeah. I broke up with him.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay. So I mean, I think it's for the best.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah. Cause he's just running off with the ladies.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And I have to take care of the birds. I don't want to do that. Some of them are scary.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. They flap a lot.
SPEAKER_04Geese are scary. I'm terrified of geese. Yeah. I'm gonna be honest. They scare me.
SPEAKER_03Okay. So were there any mite ducks?
SPEAKER_04There were no ducks.
SPEAKER_03No mighty ducks.
SPEAKER_04There's hens and geese and pheasants. They're a lot smaller than ducks.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And other birds and blackbirds, maybe, at some point. Or collie birds. Whatever those are.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. But uh I I was just wondering if there were some mighty ducks or so.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_03No reason why, but no?
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03What about a lethal weapon? Maybe you could get one of those.
SPEAKER_04Maybe. And put it on my Christmas list.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I want. Lethal weapon.
SPEAKER_04Now, for my last part of this segment, I would like To recite a poem.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay? This is my response to my Christmas gifts post 12 days of Christmas. Okay. Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent me a partridge loose in my pantry.
SPEAKER_01Oh.
Red Flags In Gift-Giving And Relationship Insight
SPEAKER_03So you were gonna say in my pants. Loose in my pants.
SPEAKER_04Partridge loose in my pants. I don't know how it got there, but that's where it ended up. So I called Animal Control, who asked, is it aggressive? I said, It's judging me with its entire soul. Please send help. On the second day of Christmas, two turtle dubs cooing like they're holding a union meeting. This time I called HR. They informed me that birds are not eligible for workplace mediation. On the third day of Christmas, three French hens arrived with attitudes sharp enough. Yeah. Sharp enough to cut tile. Animal control put me on hold forever.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03They didn't know French.
SPEAKER_04No, I guess not. They couldn't compromise.
SPEAKER_03They couldn't understand the birds.
SPEAKER_04No. On the fourth day, four calling birds, calling everyone except me. HR asked me if I had tried setting expectations. I told them the birds had their own group chat.
SPEAKER_03They maybe they didn't have your number?
SPEAKER_04Maybe. On the fifth day, five gold rings. Finally, something that doesn't molt. I thanked my true love. It was short-lived.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Sixth day. Sixth day.
SPEAKER_03Sixth.
SPEAKER_04Sixth day.
SPEAKER_03Sixth day.
SPEAKER_04Sixth geese laying. My living room became an egg forward war zone. Animal control hung up after I uttered the word geese.
SPEAKER_03So what do you have there? Oh, why don't you take a geese?
SPEAKER_04Geese. Wow, that was a good one. Seventh day. Seven swans of swimming in my bathtub. HR suggested I redirect aquatic personnel to appropriate facilities. I redirected myself to a hotel.
SPEAKER_03You barely have a bathtub.
SPEAKER_04Right. Eighth day with eight maids of milking. Not cows, just the maids. Standing there, awaiting instruction. HR asked if I had filed a staffing request. I told them I had filed several, all desperate. Ninth day with nine ladies dancing. Beautiful, yes. But they knocked over my laundry rack and applauded.
SPEAKER_00Aw, what the heck?
SPEAKER_04Rude. Animal control said this was outside their perfume. And I agreed. Why am I calling Animal Patrol? Control Paw Patrol on ladies. Why am I calling Paw Patrol? Ten Lords Leaping on my couch. HR asked if they were contractors or full-time. And I asked them if they were serious.
SPEAKER_00Are you serious?
SPEAKER_04Are you serious? 11 Pipers Piping. Noise level? Jet engine wearing holiday cheer. I filed a noise complaint with HR, and they filed a noise complaint back at me.
SPEAKER_03So you're noisy? Yeah. You're a loud American.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03According to them.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. 12 drummers drumming. Again, I'm calling animal control on them. On people. They referred me to cultural events and disturbances. That department referred me to therapy. So my summary of my disappointment. My true love has mistaken me for a festival venue, a wildlife refuge, and possibly a recruitment center for performing arts. I wanted connection, not crowd control. I wanted romance, not a lineup of sentient percussion. I am emotionally exhausted and physically surrounded by feathers. And I'd like to suggest gift alternatives for next year.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04A reclining spa dang, two coffee gift cards, three cozy blankets, four scent candles, five gold chocolates. Oh. Okay. Six plants thriving. Seven quiet evenings. Eight playlists curated. Nine books worth reading. Yes, please. Uh, eleven drawers completed. Oh my gosh. 12 uninterrupted naps.
SPEAKER_03Sounds good.
SPEAKER_04And that was that. Did you like it?
SPEAKER_03Uh I liked it. Go ahead. And also a lethal weapon.
SPEAKER_04And a lethal le an illegal w weapon. I can't even say that. So I hope you learned something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I hope you found some entertainment in my 12 days breakdown.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_0412 days of breakdowns.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Are you out of sips?
SPEAKER_03I'm all out of sips.
SPEAKER_04Alright.
SPEAKER_03And that means we're all out of episode.
The Breakup Letter To “True Love”
SPEAKER_04So as we actually reach the end of the episode, would you like to tell me what is currently ruining your life?
SPEAKER_03I think uh I'm gonna go with uh being so tired.
SPEAKER_04Your fatigue.
SPEAKER_03My fatigue again. Yeah. I I can't come up with anything better. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_03I'm too tired for that.
SPEAKER_04Alright.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, that's good enough.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What's ruining your life?
SPEAKER_04Being required to rest when I want to move.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04Due to injury. I uh want to heal, but I also uh want to um be productive.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Also, uh, I am increasingly I'm getting more stressed over everything.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04Because deadlines are just coming quicker, and yeah. All all the things that I'm looking forward to are just coming closer and I'm freaking out.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm also I I can uh join you in that one. Okay. Because uh I also feel like uh I have deadlines before coming event.
SPEAKER_04Would you like to wrap this up?
SPEAKER_03Let's wrap this up.
SPEAKER_04Alright. I'm gonna start off by saying thank you for listening to the episode. I hope that you um got something out of it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And uh were entertained.
SPEAKER_02Hopefully.
SPEAKER_04And big thank you for or to those who joined us for our drunk Christmas karaoke live mad libs.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm pretty sure it was really fun. Yeah. Usually is. And if you missed it, then I guess you gotta join us next year for Christmas karaoke. Otherwise, we're gonna have another one, another live Mad Libs, uh, on in January.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's every month, so every month. Yeah. So it's I'm not gonna say when.
SPEAKER_03No, no. We don't know that yet.
SPEAKER_04But it's in January.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_04And you'll know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's gonna be a Saturday in January.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03So that's all we know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That's that. We'll be back with another episode on Tuesday, in which we will tell you what is coming up that we are freaking out over.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. And we're gonna go into some details. Maybe I mean Vague details, because I don't know. Deep details, but uh more details than we have uh said so far. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Okay, we'll be back next Tuesday. Thanks for listening.
SPEAKER_03Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Have a good life.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And goodbye.
SPEAKER_03Bye bye. Bye.
SPEAKER_04Bye. Thank you for listening to the Roasty Toasty Ghosty Podcast.
SPEAKER_03If you kinda liked our episode, follow us on the social medias. We are on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at Roasty Toasty Ghosty Pod.
SPEAKER_04And Twitch at Roasty Toasty Ghosty Podcast, where we play live man libs every month.
SPEAKER_03Consider supporting us on BuzzSprout, where you can find deleted content and our entire movie night lists.
SPEAKER_04We hope you enjoyed this episode just as we enjoyed making it.
SPEAKER_03And we'll be back with another one next Tuesday on a podcast provider near you.
SPEAKER_04Goodbye, Matthias.
SPEAKER_03Goodbye, Lauren.