Roasty Toasty Ghosty

#159: 12 Days of Breakdowns

Lauren & Mattias Episode 159

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In which Lauren & Mattias break down the 12 days of Christmas and what they represent. They review their recent movie night films and discuss various topics such as not licking things and past hair coloring decisions.

Content:

  • Opening
    • Chocolate, Licorice, & Chai
  • Monsters & Growing old
  • Weekly check in
  • Movie on!
    • D2: The Mighty Ducks
    • Lethal Weapon
  • Intermission
  • 12 Days of Christmas Breakdown
    • What does every day represent?
  • Wrap up
  • What's ruining our lives

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Beginning music - Energetic Prog Rock from AdobeStock
Intermission & ending music - Marshmallow Overload by Avocado Junkie

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Neither hosts are scientists or historians and all content displayed is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Simply put, not a single word spoken in this podcast is or should be taken seriously.

No ghosties were harmed in the making of this podcast.

Cold Open And Chocolate Talk

SPEAKER_03

In a world where everything is unscripted, this is roasty, toasty, roasty.

SPEAKER_04

Hi.

SPEAKER_03

Hello. Okay, so do you wanna eat those now?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be munching during the episode because it kind of sounds gross. I'll eat the chocolate, but I'm gonna complain the whole time. You know, plain milk chocolate I feel is underestimated, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's still good. People are adding things to the chocolate all the time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, I I I'm I'm a I'm a plainer.

SPEAKER_04

A player?

SPEAKER_03

A plainer.

SPEAKER_04

Plainer.

SPEAKER_03

Plain nerd.

SPEAKER_04

Plain nerd. Hmm.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I like it plain, you know. I don't need much too much chocolate. Just the chocolate is good enough for me. Although some of them are pretty good, I have to say.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

D do you have favorites of the chocolate uh additions?

SPEAKER_04

Hmm. Obviously peanut butter. Okay for me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But I like the salt. The sea salt.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I like some nuts in my chocolate.

SPEAKER_03

The Schweitzer Schwarzenegger nuts?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I like his nuts in my chocolate.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. They're pretty good.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, I uh I agree. I like them too. I also like his nuts. In chocolate? In chocolate. Okay. What else? Okay, I I like the Oreo.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. Oreos and chocolate is good.

SPEAKER_03

I like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Oreos are good by themselves.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that too. But in the chocolate.

SPEAKER_04

I prefer to dip my Oreos in milk.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Same with my gingerbread cookies.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. But they're best dipped. Yeah, but the same with the Oreo chocolate. Do you dip that in milk?

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. Okay. No. No, I don't.

SPEAKER_03

No. No. I like the strawberry ones.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. Those are pretty good.

SPEAKER_03

That's one of my favorites, I I must say. Then there are some like crackers things. I d I'm not sure what it is really.

SPEAKER_04

Those I can live without.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I'll eat them. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna turn them down, but they're not my first choice.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. No, I've uh I I I think they're pretty good.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not saying they're not.

SPEAKER_03

No. I mean I rather have them uh over peanut butter.

SPEAKER_04

And that's like the one difference between the two of us.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Along with the list of other things.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's true, true.

SPEAKER_04

I'm funny. Yeah, yes, you are.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that that's true.

SPEAKER_04

That's also on the list.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's also on the list. It's debatable.

SPEAKER_04

Sorry, I'm just being mean to you today. I'm sorry. It's okay. I can't help it.

SPEAKER_03

No, it's okay. It's okay. You're gonna hear about it later, but no and save the drama for our uh trip.

SPEAKER_04

The trip. Like, remember that one time when you said I'm not funny, and I don't like that. And now I'm stuck in the car with you for the next 30 hours, and it's all I'm gonna think about is when you said I wasn't funny. And I'm gonna s sit in the corner of the car and be all sad and be grumpy.

SPEAKER_03

Depressed. Yeah. All the emotions.

SPEAKER_04

So many of them.

SPEAKER_03

Uh oh yeah. And also the nougat one, the chocolates. It's pretty good.

SPEAKER_04

They're pretty good. Yeah. They're okay.

SPEAKER_03

That's it for me.

SPEAKER_04

That's it. That's the end. No, I think I wouldn't say no to pretty much any of them.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_04

Uh no licorice for me though. Yeah. I don't want them.

SPEAKER_03

No, blah.

SPEAKER_04

Blah?

SPEAKER_03

Is it licorice or is it licorice?

SPEAKER_04

You know what? I've always said licorice with the ish. Even though it's spelled like ish. Uh that's something I've never understood.

SPEAKER_03

No, that word confuses me so much.

SPEAKER_04

I think my mom said licorice. Okay. So I said licorice. And then I saw that it was spill spilled all over the floor. Oh no. And I was like, it looks like licorice. My mom says licorice. So I don't know what to think anymore.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you're like, I'm not gonna lick that.

SPEAKER_04

Ew, disgusting. It's black and gross. Looks like tar.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I don't eat that. No. I've never tried eating the road.

SPEAKER_03

No, no. Neither have I.

SPEAKER_04

No? Alright. You look like someone who would take a bite. Just to try. Just to see what would happen.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, put it in chocolate, maybe.

SPEAKER_04

I've heard that this is good in chocolate.

SPEAKER_03

Uh yeah. Yeah, I mean the thing is uh the word in Swedish is also a debate on how to pronounce.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Like we say lochlis uh licorice.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but some people say laquis.

SPEAKER_04

What? Okay. That was out of left field because I thought that you would pronounce the tea at the end, but you don't.

SPEAKER_03

Uh no.

SPEAKER_04

You didn't pronounce the tea either time.

SPEAKER_03

No. Silent tea. Oh, by the way, I had tea today.

SPEAKER_04

You didn't. This morning. Was it chai?

SPEAKER_03

Chai.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

And yeah, chai means tea. Who knew?

SPEAKER_04

I knew.

SPEAKER_03

You knew.

SPEAKER_04

It's Chinese. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03

I had chai latte. And that means milk.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Not Chinese though.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think no, that's not Chinese.

SPEAKER_03

Is it Italian?

SPEAKER_04

I think so. Yeah. Huh. Alright. So we've got Chinese Italian beverage.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I think uh chai might be tea in Italian too. It's called chai in Greek too.

SPEAKER_04

What about latte?

SPEAKER_03

I I don't think that's uh milk. Or uh I don't think that's Greek.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

Day-To-Day Life And Work Updates

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. But yes, I had two cups of it this morning. They're pretty small cups, so I I wanted it. It was Friday and you know.

SPEAKER_04

It was.

SPEAKER_03

It's still am. No, it still is.

SPEAKER_04

It is. For a couple more hours.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Alright, shall we?

SPEAKER_03

Maybe we can.

SPEAKER_04

I really want to get into this because I I want to get to the second half. Yeah. Because I'm really excited about that part.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, the segment.

SPEAKER_04

It's gonna be really good today. So let's get through this.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Would you like to open this up?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, let's open this thing up.

SPEAKER_04

Look what I got. We're like twinsies.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, I missed it. You're too fast.

SPEAKER_03

You call me fat.

SPEAKER_04

You're too fat.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_04

I missed it. You were in the way. That's okay.

SPEAKER_03

That's okay. You don't like it?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

You know, I'm getting a little sad, a little disappointed. I think I'm growing up.

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. You know the chocolate orange ice cream that I had today?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It was meh. Yeah, well, no, I don't care about your opinion. Because I usually like the chocolate orange. And this was just meh.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I mean maybe you weigh up.

SPEAKER_04

Wow. Alright. Alright. And then the monster. It's a green monster. I used to drink these like all the time. And it's also like meh.

SPEAKER_03

It's without sugar.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, but even I'm sure they taste like the same to me.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I don't I I don't taste the difference. Okay. I won't think. Sure. Okay. Why? Can I can I take some of yours?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, not that much though. I'm gonna take some of yours.

SPEAKER_04

Do it.

SPEAKER_03

Meh.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, meh. I mean that one almost tasted a little watered down to me.

SPEAKER_03

This one is better.

SPEAKER_04

This one is just like too much of the flavor. So I'm just I'm concerned. I think I'm becoming an adult. I don't care for it.

SPEAKER_03

You're saying you're getting old?

SPEAKER_04

I'm getting old.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, you are.

SPEAKER_04

I don't want to grow up.

SPEAKER_03

No, I never grow up.

SPEAKER_04

You're not gonna.

SPEAKER_03

No?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_03

I'm always gonna be a kid. That's how it is. Hey, is it you or me?

SPEAKER_04

I I'm not me. I'm you. No? Wait, what?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, I'm gonna start now. Go. Hello and welcome to Roasty Toasty Coasty. Ho ho ho. My name is Matthias.

SPEAKER_04

And I'm Lauren. And we are gonna be your besties for an hour or so. That's right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And this is the podcast in which you will learn nothing at all.

SPEAKER_03

Or will you?

SPEAKER_04

Actually, I think you might learn something today.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

And we're gonna laugh.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_04

Oh boy, we're gonna laugh. We have so much to laugh about today.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we're gonna laugh. And whether it's real or fake, we're gonna laugh.

SPEAKER_04

It's definitely we're g definitely gonna laugh.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, okay. Real.

SPEAKER_04

Real laugh.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, not fake.

SPEAKER_04

No. That would be it wasn't that funny.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. But that was my real laugh.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, alright.

SPEAKER_03

You can tell.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So um Matias. Yes. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_03

I'm doing well. How are you?

SPEAKER_04

I'm good.

SPEAKER_03

Have you had a good day?

SPEAKER_04

I have. I have.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Have you? Yeah. It's been pretty chill at work. Good. Hmm? So it was nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Has it been like super busy lately? Yeah. Like previous days?

SPEAKER_03

It has been busier ear earlier weeks. Mm-hmm after Black Friday. Previous weeks, but I'm working at the place where it's not much to do anymore. Because now we're more focusing on the private customers. And I'm not at that department right now.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

But yeah, it was a good day.

SPEAKER_04

Good.

SPEAKER_03

Really nice.

SPEAKER_04

Let's talk about last weekend.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Last Saturday I uh taught gymnastics.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And it went really well. Oh, good. Okay. I convinced my daughter to come with me because she's not in my group anymore. She does gymnastics for another team now. But I convinced her to come with me. And another one of my old gymnasts was convinced to join us that time as well, which was unexpected. So I got really excited. And it just went so well. I love my gymnast.

SPEAKER_01

Good.

SPEAKER_04

It is one of my favorite things to do at the moment is to teach these girls just new skills. And then the most rewarding part is when they just like throw back handsprings and such out of nowhere. When it just like kind of happens. Yeah. And is like amazing. And yeah, I get emotional over it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay. So you were crying?

SPEAKER_04

Um, no, not at the moment, but I get like really excited, so I'm like, ah, okay, okay. Um and then I cry later. But it I don't know. For some reason it's become kind of an emotional thing because there's a background here, okay? Because when I was growing up and doing gymnastics and stuff, um, I had a huge fear of going backwards, okay? It was a mental block. I could do it, I could do the back hand springs and stuff, you know, flickies and everything. But I had a mental block that just stopped me. It made me look really bad. But my mom always supported me and she uh did like literally everything to help me, you know, get past it. I never really did get past it until I mean even now, I I can it's easier for me now to go backwards, but it can't be like whenever I have to like be in a certain state of mind, you know? So seeing these girls be able to do the things that I couldn't do, it just it makes me really proud. And it just makes me think of my mom a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And how she was like always there, and I know that she would be really proud of me. So that's what I did on Saturday.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Also, I I don't know what else I did on Saturday. I think I worked. I think I worked last weekend at some point. I don't really remember when, but yeah, maybe. I don't know. Anyway, I also watched movies with my life partner that evening.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah. That's nice.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I don't know. I didn't I don't think I did much on Saturday. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think I saw you.

SPEAKER_03

No, I don't think so either. Anyway. Anyway, uh well I I think I was just editing. Mm-hmm. Because I tend to do that a lot now.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Uh but you did things on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03

On Sunday I did things. Okay. Yes. So Sunday, me and my family, my mom and dad and sister, uh her daughter, my niece.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Uh we went to my cousin and uh visited. And yeah, it was nice. We went there, had FICA, watched TV, looked at his place and everything, you know. Uh met other people there, and then uh after that we went and we ate out. I had a pizza.

SPEAKER_04

You ate pizza.

SPEAKER_03

I ate pizza. Alright. And you wanna know the best part of this?

SPEAKER_04

Sure.

SPEAKER_03

Is that uh they were making my pizza but it got a little too burnt. So they made another one.

SPEAKER_04

You got two pizzas.

SPEAKER_03

Then I got the other the burnt one to take home. So I ate that uh the day after. Nice.

SPEAKER_04

You got two pizzas. That's nice.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Should be like you need to make mistakes more often. Yeah. Let's see. Sunday. Okay, so I don't know if you remember, but last episode I was talking about I um hurt myself while dancing. Right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so by Sunday it had gotten better, right? I could walk and everything felt pretty okay. It felt like it was going away. And then I went grocery shopping and it started coming back. I was like, okay, let's see uh where this goes. Because I was planning on going to gymnastics later.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And then I was thinking, well, it's starting to come back a bit. I mean, this pain in my calf. And um, yeah, uh, I don't know. I'll see what happens. So uh despite my life partner saying, no, stay home because you're hurting, I still went to gymnastics.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And um, yeah, it had gotten worse, and I tried like doing a couple flips on the trampoline thing, and my entire calf tightened up to the point where it was like a rock, and I was supposed to run and jump on the trampoline, and I could not get the speed. So I was like doing a half run and then like just jumping onto the trampoline and jumping down again. Yeah. Because I had zero height with the speed that I I had.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So I had to sit out for the rest of the time. And I was like, I don't really want to go home. I came all this way to do two flips, and I don't know. So I sat and I watched for the rest of the time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so you couldn't do anything.

Family Visits, Pizza Win, And A Calf Injury

SPEAKER_04

I could not do anything because it was it hurt so bad. And I was just at first I was like really frustrated. It was like, really? Why? Why does this have to happen? Yeah. Why me? And then I kind of got over it and I just I like to watch as well. Um, which is what makes me want to participate.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

After you know, watching like I can do that too. I'm gonna show you that I can do that. Yeah. But it's also good like training as a leader or gymnastics coach to like be able to watch them and see what they're doing wrong and how they could have done it better.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So yeah, I I used it as a learning opportunity instead of being frustrated the entire evening. Of course, I'm sad, but it was okay. And then I went home. I did leave uh before everyone else. Yeah. Because I was just like, I I have to go home. I'm in so much pain. I can't be here anymore. Uh but yeah, that was my Sunday.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And so yeah, this week I've just been taking it easy, trying to rest my leg so I can come back and continue doing the things I like to do.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So I mean, you I haven't even really done homework out this week. It's been homework on the couch.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, okay. Uh I um uh I mean, I I've been to work this week, but uh I've been so tired the entire week.

SPEAKER_04

Day shift.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yep. I got my hair done on Tuesday.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04

Um, my daughter and I went to the salon and we got our hair colored. It was the first time my daughter got permanent hair coloring. Okay. And she uh went blonde. And she was already like a strawberry blonde-ish. Yeah. But now she's a brighter blonde. And but it it kind of looks cool because her old color still kind of comes through. So it looks like there's highlights of her old color instead of the blonde highlights. It's kind of cool. I like it. My hair is a little bit darker than I wanted it to be, but it's still okay. What do you think?

SPEAKER_03

It looks nice. Good.

SPEAKER_04

Is it too dark? Uh well, in here it's dark.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't know if it's a big deal.

SPEAKER_04

I'm assuming that you looked before.

SPEAKER_03

I did. Uh I don't know if it's too dark. It's it looks good.

SPEAKER_04

Does it look okay on me? Yeah. Okay. Cause I wasn't expecting going on vacation with darker hair.

SPEAKER_03

But I I mean, I've seen darker.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, I have been black before. Yeah. Well, my hair was black. Yeah. Uh it's a time in my life I was black. No, uh. It's also been blue. It's been a very bright blue.

SPEAKER_03

I remember that.

SPEAKER_04

That was fun. And my life partner was mentioning maybe bringing that back.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I was like, that was a cool color.

SPEAKER_03

That was like before we were friends.

SPEAKER_04

It was. It was in like twenty seventeen. 2018-ish.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because you you had that when I got back to work.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And that was 2018.

SPEAKER_04

It was Christmas time. Yeah. So I had like the blue silverish hair, which is what we were talking about. Maybe I should do that again. Maybe. We'll see. I don't know. It was fun. But like I said, I'm an adult now. So maybe I'm too old for these things.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, maybe you are. You should just have gray hair.

SPEAKER_04

I think so. You know what? I'm gonna skip everything. I'm just gonna go straight to silver.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I mean, some people do that and it looks pretty good. Or white. Some people. White might be fun. And then I can do whatever I want.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

If I bleach it so much that it turns white, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

No. Sounds sounds like a good idea, I think.

SPEAKER_04

It's also kind of a form of rebellion because my mom never let me dye my hair. I wasn't allowed. Yeah. She was like, you're not allowed to grow old. I was like, alright, fine. She's like, you're not allowed to dye your hair either. I was like, okay. And I do that now. I dye my hair just because she said, no. And you know what? I let my daughter dye her hair just because my mom told me I couldn't.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04

I'm an adult now. I do what I want. Can't tell me what to do. So that's something that happened this week. Yeah. I mean, I haven't really done that much because of my leg. I've been healing this week.

SPEAKER_00

It's the same for me.

SPEAKER_04

I've been healing. Healing. Yeah. Your mind, your body, and your soul.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I I tried to heal my brain because I'm so tired.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that didn't work. No, no. No. Give it a couple days.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Um, alright. Well, do you have anything else?

SPEAKER_03

Uh no.

SPEAKER_04

I feel like I probably should have had something else. Oh yeah. Last weekend we made the gingerbread houses. You and I both ordered I'm sorry. You ordered two boxes of gingerbread houses and gave one to me.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And we expected them to be like one big gingerbread house, but it ended up being a whole bunch of little gingerbread houses.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. I I never touched it.

SPEAKER_04

You haven't opened it yet. No. You're free to open it whenever.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I know, but I have other things to do.

SPEAKER_04

You can still eat and I think I edit at the same time.

SPEAKER_03

I think I might just eat it, yes. And not building. You don't have to. No. You are I'm an adult. No, I'm I'm a kid. You're a kid. I don't want to build.

SPEAKER_04

But you bought it, so you do whatever you want with it.

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. So that was that.

SPEAKER_03

That was that.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. I completely forgot about Saturday. No, I did talk about Saturday, but that's not all that happened on Saturday.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

My son, when I got back home from gymnastics on Saturday, uh, my son, my oldest son, decided that he wanted to go to the mall.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

In Stockholm.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

Hair Color Adventures And Growing Up Jokes

SPEAKER_04

So I was like, ugh, okay. I mean, I let my daughter go shopping every now and then too. So I figured I have to be fair. So we went. And we went to a couple stores. He got what he wanted. And then we went home.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04

It was quick and easy. And we Oh, there was a there was an exhibit in the mall with all these Christmas lights. It was so cool. And a little like train in there. You would have loved it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04

It was really cool. Um, yeah. Today's Friday.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

It's December 12th. Because we've been opening up Advent calendars this month.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And we all opened up number 12 today. So that tells me. No, you didn't.

SPEAKER_03

We didn't.

SPEAKER_04

Uh you already ate your chocolate calendar, right?

SPEAKER_03

No, I I only up opened to eleven. Because I never I mean, I I went to work this morning and I You don't open it in the morning? No.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I uh do it uh when I get home. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

We've been opening calendars in the morning.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Yeah, well uh when in the morning do you open?

SPEAKER_04

Before the kids go to school.

SPEAKER_03

Cause I I leave at like 5 30. Mm-hmm. So uh and I brush my teeth and you know everything.

SPEAKER_04

So I don't wanna That's where you're going wrong. You brush your teeth.

SPEAKER_03

I shouldn't brush my teeth.

SPEAKER_04

You shouldn't brush your teeth.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Eat chocolate instead. Brushing teeth can wait until you get home. Yeah. You need to switch those two. Priorities, Matias. Eat your chocolate and then brush your teeth later.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

At the same time when you would actually be opening the calendar.

SPEAKER_03

But you know, what's good about this is that I'm uh gonna open two uh tomorrow. 12 and 13.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's nice.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that is pretty nice.

SPEAKER_03

And I already got my chocolate today, so yeah.

SPEAKER_04

We just ate chocolate.

SPEAKER_03

We did. And apparently that's a tradition now.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I just made it one.

SPEAKER_04

Right, because the first Christmas episode we had the Aladdin box. Did we have another one? Or what did we do in last Christmas?

SPEAKER_00

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_04

Anyway, it is December 12th.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

And we watched movies.

SPEAKER_00

We did.

SPEAKER_04

Would you like to move on?

SPEAKER_00

Let's move on.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. So tonight we watched Mighty Ducks 2.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And Lethal Weapon.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So please tell me about Mighty Ducks 2.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. This uh is a movie with Emilio Esteves uh playing Gordon Bombay. He doesn't like Iceland, so he wants to beat them in a hockey game. So he gathers all his uh previous hockey players from the last movie, and then he adds some new ones. Keenan Thompson?

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, from Keenan and Cal.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And SNL.

SPEAKER_04

Have you have you heard of all that?

SPEAKER_03

I've heard of it, but You didn't you never saw it?

SPEAKER_04

No. With Amanda? Amanda Bynes. Bynes. Right. I think that's where Rosie O'Donnell was.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04

I think that's what I was thinking of. I think she had a segment on that show. I could be wrong. Because I didn't really get to watch it that much.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

But I remember that it was something that I wanted to see.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Anyway, that was way off topic. Yeah. But um yes. Okay. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah, uh, he gathers the uh hockey team to beat the Iceland people. Because they're evil.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03

Kind of.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they were competing internationally.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. In this movie, he doesn't make them worse, he just makes them better.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And uh Keenan Thompson has a special move that's kind of funny and cool.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Uh did I forget something?

SPEAKER_04

Mm. I'm not sure. I don't think so. I think that's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, he he gets a little greedy as well.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. He likes the commercial stuff a little too much.

SPEAKER_04

So maybe if the team did get a little worse, it was because of that.

SPEAKER_03

He lost focus. But it was an intentional like in the last movie.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, that's true. Good point. Um, yeah, and that was that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Uh so what did you think about this movie?

SPEAKER_04

I enjoyed this movie. I uh um I liked the new characters that came in. Yeah. And I liked that Iceland was the bad guys because that just makes sense. But I don't I don't want to say too much bad about Iceland because for some reason I'm like all superstitious now. Yeah. I I feel like uh I don't want to say too many bad things about things that may come.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, exactly. That can yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I don't need any karma coming at me here.

SPEAKER_03

For reals though, I feel like uh Iceland is a pretty good and uh neutral country.

Advent Calendars And December Traditions

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Uh did you hear that, God?

SPEAKER_04

Iceland, can you hear me? You're not that bad.

SPEAKER_03

So yes. What did you say about this movie? You liked it.

SPEAKER_04

It was good.

SPEAKER_03

It was good.

SPEAKER_04

It was good. What did what how did you um what did you think about the movie?

SPEAKER_03

How did you like it?

SPEAKER_04

How did you think about the movie? What?

SPEAKER_03

Uh how I thought about the movie.

SPEAKER_01

Well, first.

SPEAKER_03

Uh no, uh I I liked it, but I st I preferred the first one. Uh thought that was a little bit better, but uh I usually like the second ones, but not this time. But I still like the movie. It was entertaining. There was a referee guy who reminded me a little bit of Donald Trump.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah. He at first he looked a little bit like Donald Trump. A younger one.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And then you could tell it wasn't him.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly. But uh like last week you saw all different kinds of actors. Um did you see any actors?

SPEAKER_04

Daniel LaRusso. I saw him. Oh yeah. Um, yeah. Uh what's his name? Michael. No. What's his name?

SPEAKER_03

Michael?

SPEAKER_04

Who who no, not Michael, but um Daniel LaRusso.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, uh Ralph Macho? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. It was him. And also uh the movie started off like karate kid.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it did. He hurt his knee. Yeah. It was like money.

SPEAKER_04

Money. Um but I mean they where were they? Where was the tournament? It wasn't in Iceland.

SPEAKER_03

No, I don't know where it was, but they flew there.

SPEAKER_04

They flew somewhere. Yeah. So, I mean, in the second karate kid, he flew to Japan. Yeah. And this one, they flew somewhere else to meet foreign people. So I'm still comparing it to karate kids.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Makes sense.

SPEAKER_04

Mm.

SPEAKER_03

I yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And there was a kid who looked like karate. A little Daniel LaRusso or Ralph McMurk Marchio.

SPEAKER_03

Mark Mark. MacMark.

SPEAKER_04

Mark Mark. Okay. Yeah. Anything else?

SPEAKER_03

Uh no, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_04

Alright, then I'm gonna tell you about Lethal Weapon.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Something I failed to mention last week with the movie that we watched. We watched Cobra.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It was a Christmas movie. Lethal Weapon is also a Christmas movie. Yes. Because it's set in Christmas. And it's a movie with uh Mel Gibson and Danny Glover is in this movie. Yeah. And um they are cops, and Mel Gibson is a bit suicidal, so it makes him a little crazy, uh risky, but he's really good at shooting. And uh Gary Busey is in this movie. Yeah. And he's a bad guy.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_04

And so they are trying to solve a mystery about how or a murder. Murder mystery. Yes. And um Gary Busey is behind everything. And they beat up some bad guys. Well, they mostly shoot at them.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And that's what happened.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Movie Night Setup

SPEAKER_04

There was a helicopter as well.

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Alright, I think that's all I have to say about that. What do you think about this movie? And also what did I miss?

SPEAKER_03

Um I feel like you got the story right and everything.

SPEAKER_02

Cool.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And I um did I and do I like this movie?

SPEAKER_02

Do you?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I kinda do. I kinda love this movie so much.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Actually. Uh I uh it's oh I I don't know uh it's it's so difficult for me when I love movies so much to, you know, explain how much I actually do.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. I'm gonna ask why. Why do you love this movie?

SPEAKER_03

Um, because it um um I really like the buddy cop movies and this one sets the bar so high for it and I it has uh yeah, I I think that this is the best franchise, one of the best franchises I know, movie franchise. Uh and um not spoiled too much about the but I feel like it has a pretty good quality consistency. It's good from the first movie to the last.

SPEAKER_04

Uh all of them. All of them are there's like four?

Mighty Ducks 2 Recap And Reactions

SPEAKER_03

Four. Okay. And uh yeah, I usually there are some franchises that just dip solo and it's like uh I'm not not worth them. Yeah. Not worth watching them. This franchise, I feel like it keeps the quality. I love all these movies. So I think that's also part of it. I mean I sure it has flaws. It's like in this movie, you know, the fight at the end with Mel Gibson and Gary Busey. Uh-huh. It's a little bit shaky and close up so you don't really see everything. But that's a nitpick and uh I still love the movie.

SPEAKER_04

Also, the lighting was a little iffy because you couldn't really see all the time what exactly what was going on. What exactly what what what exactly was going on.

SPEAKER_03

No, yeah, in the fight, you mean Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And uh So it could have been a little bit brighter.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Even though it was a night scene. So I don't know. Usually they figure that out.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But maybe there was a choice.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe. And I mean it was also uh wet, so that also made it more difficult to see. But I still love this movie. Uh and it's set at Christmas. I have a thing for that too. Movies set at Christmas, I really like them. And it has nice Christmas songs, and yeah, I I feel this one is um very Christmassy too. Like I said during the movie, fun fact that the weapon Mel Gibson has in this movie is the exact same weapon Bruce Willis has in Die Hard.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Which is also a Christmas movie?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_04

According to you?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, according to me. And uh this one as well. I I kind of prefer this one over Die Hard though.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

I'm one of those. That's what I have to say right now. What do you think about this movie?

SPEAKER_04

I enjoyed the movie as well.

SPEAKER_03

Good.

SPEAKER_04

There was a lot that was going on. It was good.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, also I think it's the chemistry between Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I like Mel Gibson's character in this one. He was he was fun.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, him and Danny Glover, they're so perfect together. And I like uh Danny Glover's character too. A family man, you know. You know, teaming up with this young loose canon.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Such a good premise. So yeah, I love this movie.

SPEAKER_04

Good. Anything else?

SPEAKER_03

No. Do you have anything else to say about the movie?

SPEAKER_04

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_04

I think that feels pretty good. Alright. Well, then we'll go for a break. Yeah, that's all right. Stick around for the next part because it's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Right? Alright.

SPEAKER_02

I hope so.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, no, it will. Okay. No, you gotta trust me.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Would you like to take a break?

SPEAKER_03

Let's take a break.

SPEAKER_04

We'll be right back. Alright, we're back. Sorry. And we're back. We are. I didn't mean to steal your your thunder. Your light.

SPEAKER_03

Thunder and lightning.

SPEAKER_04

I didn't mean to steal any of your stormy traits. Uh yes, we are back.

SPEAKER_03

We are.

SPEAKER_04

And I have a special gift for you. Okay, cool. Yes. It is a very fun second half of the episode.

SPEAKER_03

Awesome.

SPEAKER_04

And it's Christmas themed. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Just in time for our karaoke night for Man Libs.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Tomorrow. Which already happened. Oh, yeah. By the time everyone hears this. So, Christmas karaoke themed second half.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I would like to break down the twelve days of Christmas.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

For you.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

One song.

SPEAKER_04

Just the one song. And I want to tell you everything about it. Good. Everything that I learned. Okay. And then some. Okay, so brought to you by Open Eyes, because I can't come up with anything myself. No. Okay, so the twelve days of Christmas. What each day represents?

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm. Uh so I I have a question though.

SPEAKER_04

Already? Okay. Yeah. I haven't said any.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, uh, is are those from like today or tomorrow from 13?

SPEAKER_04

I think so, because today is number 12.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So we would technically be working backwards.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Because uh in Sweden we have this calendar with 24 uh yeah, from the start of December until Christmas Eve.

SPEAKER_04

Right. So I I think that we're already starting the 12 days of Christmas now.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, that's perfect.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Look at us being cool.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's like we planned this.

SPEAKER_04

Almost. Okay, so officially the song itself is just a cumulative Christmas carol. There is no original religious or symbolic meaning documented. It's basically a humorous, memory, and counting song from the 1700s.

SPEAKER_03

Oh.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. So old.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's that old.

SPEAKER_03

It's an old one.

SPEAKER_04

However, over time people have attached symbolic interpretations, usually Christian. Even though historians say these weren't original to the song. So we're gonna go through the gifts and their literal meaning and the common but not original symbolic interpretation.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So let me guess. This is gonna be 12 points or Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Or are you gonna repeat them later? Like in the song? Maybe.

SPEAKER_04

There might be a little repetition here.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So the first day of Christmas was a partridge in a pear tree. Pear tree.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, what's the the fruit? Partridge partridge.

SPEAKER_04

A partridge is a bird sitting in a fruit tree.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Um, which is supposed to represent Jesus. Uh The pear tree is supposed to be a cross and the partridge is protective love. Okay. Okay. Uh and Jesus, I guess, is a bird.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah, okay. So someone nailed the bird to the tree?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. An act of love.

SPEAKER_03

I love you, bird.

unknown

Oh god.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. The second day of Christmas was two turtle doves, which is they're a pair of doves.

SPEAKER_01

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

Which represents the old and new testaments.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, I'm thinking there are turtles with wings.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. That's what a turtle dove is, I think. Uh turtles who want to fly. It's like, oh, there's a there's a character in Mario, the Mario World. Where it's a turtle with wings.

SPEAKER_03

That's true. Yeah. Okay, that's a turtle dove.

SPEAKER_04

He's a turtle dove.

SPEAKER_03

Makes sense now.

SPEAKER_04

The third day of Christmas. You brought three French hens. They're fancy chickens.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, French hens.

SPEAKER_04

They're French.

SPEAKER_03

What's uh hen in French? Le hen. Le hen.

SPEAKER_04

Le hen. Le hen. Yeah. I don't I don't quite remember if I learned it's uh Aloette. It's a bird. I don't know. They're fancy chickens, and they represent faith, hope, and charity.

SPEAKER_03

So they say ha ha ha ha.

SPEAKER_04

Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's what they do. Okay. Number four. Four calling birds. And they're songbirds.

SPEAKER_03

There's a lot of birds. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna get to that. I'm getting there.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

All the things you're gonna say, I'm gonna mention later. Okay. Okay. So the calling birds are songbirds, and they represent four gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. So these birds have names.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So they should have been the Beatles.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'm thinking so too.

SPEAKER_04

Why aren't the birds named John Paul Ringo? Paul Ringo. Yeah, that would make more sense.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and uh so they're to me it sounds like they're birds on the phone.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they're calling each other. It's the Beatles in a four-way phone call. Yeah. Also singing to each other over the phone.

SPEAKER_03

Do Beatles have a song where they call each other?

SPEAKER_04

You know my name? Look up the number. I don't know. That's all I've got for that.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Uh five golden rings.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, that's not a bird.

SPEAKER_04

Wait, not jewelry.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

It is originally ring-necked pheasants. Birds again.

SPEAKER_02

Ah.

SPEAKER_04

So they're supposed to represent the first five books of the Old Testament.

SPEAKER_01

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

More birds. Okay. Six. Geese laying. Yes. Which are egg-laying geese. And they're supposed to represent six days of creation.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, or just lazy geese.

SPEAKER_04

Lazy geese. And last I knew, creation does not require six days. It takes like two minutes.

SPEAKER_03

What? What did you say?

SPEAKER_04

Creation. Ah, okay. It takes about two minutes. Not six days. Okay. Unless you're really working for it.

unknown

Alright.

SPEAKER_04

Seven swans of swimming are swans on water. They represent seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I don't have anything any comments for that.

SPEAKER_04

Cool. Eight maids of milking, which are women working, and they represent eight beatitudes.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, that's birds.

SPEAKER_04

They're not birds, they are women.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Nine ladies dancing, more women.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so now it m jumps over to women.

SPEAKER_04

To people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So no-before it was birds, now it's people. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Now we've got dancers. They represent nine fruits of the spirit. Uh what are these fruits? Can you name nine fruits?

SPEAKER_03

N nine fruits. Yeah. Which Okay, apple, pears, oranges, mango, banana. Is that a fruit?

SPEAKER_04

Sure. We'll say it.

SPEAKER_03

How many was that? Five. Five. Four more.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. What are your favorites?

SPEAKER_03

Kiwi. And uh peaches. Peach. Two more. Two more. Two more. Umur. I need tumor.

SPEAKER_04

Two more.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, okay. Papaya.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03

And the last one, of course, is Come on, you got this. What am I missing?

SPEAKER_04

Pizza.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, is that a fruit? No, pineapple. Yes.

SPEAKER_04

Good job.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04

Alright. Ten Lords Aleaping.

SPEAKER_03

Did I uh answer the fruits uh correctly?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. That was nine fruits of the spirit.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so those are the actual because I I'm that good.

SPEAKER_04

Those are the fruits of the spirit. Oh cool. Yes. All nine of them. Ten Lords Aleaping are noble men who are jumping.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, now it's men.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and they represent Ten Commandments.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Eleven Pipers Piping are musicians. And they represent eleven faithful apostles.

SPEAKER_03

It sounds like plumbers to me.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It's Mario and his friends.

SPEAKER_04

That could be Mario.

SPEAKER_03

And then that makes sense with the turtle dove. Yeah. They they meet somewhere there. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_04

And twelve drummers drumming, which are drummers, and they represent twelve points of the apostles' creed.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so Ringo is one.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. He's one of them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. That's the important one.

SPEAKER_04

Also, so why all the birds?

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04

Because the early verses of the song date back to a time when birds were luxury gifts, like giving someone a purebred dog today. Uh birds were food. Partridges, hens, pheasants, geese, and swans were all part of noble or festive meals.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. No turkeys?

SPEAKER_04

I guess not. They didn't eat turkeys yet. The song likely began as a party game where players tried to remember a growing list. Birds were easy and funny items to stack. Uh there are 23 birds by t day six and almost thirty by the end, depending on the version. So it's a total of 28 birds. And what are you supposed to do with all these birds?

SPEAKER_03

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

Historically, you eat them. They were festive poultry.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I would say that's a lot of birds.

Break And Tease For The Second Half

SPEAKER_04

Uh, in modern interpretation, you would need a large backyard, a bird sanctuary license, a noise ordinance exemption, and possibly several apologies to your neighbors.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I have uh an idea what you can do with the birds. You can flip them at people.

SPEAKER_04

Flip them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, flipping the birds at people.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, okay. Alright. Practically speaking, many people joke the true love is either trolling you or trying to start a poultry farm in your yard, or proving affection in the least practical way possible. So what is the purpose of all the gifts in the song? Yeah, possibly a cumulative memory game in which each verse adds a new item, and the singer must repeat the entire list of perfectly. But it's not originally symbolic or anything like that. It's not originally a Christian song.

SPEAKER_02

No, okay.

SPEAKER_04

So all of those representations were made up later.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. So I wanted to know about the origin of the song, who wrote it, and like when, and everything about whoever came up with this. And apparently the original author is unknown.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

It's a first appearance was in print in 1780 in London. The source is a children's book titled Mirth Without Mischief.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas: Origins And Meanings

SPEAKER_04

It's a very old book. But the earliest version wasn't even printed with music. It appeared as a recitation game.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Not quite a song. So originally it wasn't even a song.

SPEAKER_03

Even more boring.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I'm not saying that the song is boring, it's just very repetitive.

SPEAKER_04

Right. But the melody does have a known source.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_04

The modern tune and structure was arranged by Frederick Austin, an English composer and baritone. But I think he was just a composer when it came to this song. I don't think he actually sang in any of the files on Spotify.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So this was 1909. So like 200 years later, right? After the original 12 Days of Christmas uh words.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, lists.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Started.

SPEAKER_03

That's such a weird idea. Oh, look at this old list. Hey, let's make a song out of it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. And today's version is not exactly the original version.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. So it's mostly the same, but the four calling birds were originally collie birds. C-O-L-L-Y. Okay. Which means black as coal. So they were blackbirds.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I I've heard a song about that.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah. Blackbirds? By the Beatles.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Okay. Or one blackbird.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Just to one.

SPEAKER_04

And then, yeah, we had the five gold rings still, but they originally meant the ring-necked pheasants. Um the drummers were originally nine drummers drumming instead of twelve.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

But now it's nine ladies dancing. And then the pipers were originally ten. Ten pipers piping. But today it's Lords a leaping.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. How many pipers?

SPEAKER_04

Uh there's ten pipers originally.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Eleven dancing ladies. And then twelve Lords a leaping. Okay. But now it's drummers drumming. So the ten, eleven, twelve or yeah, the nine, ten, eleven, twelve parts were mixed up.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04

Uh so yeah, that's the original version, which I was hoping would be a lot more interesting and uh different, but that's not the case. The case, exactly. Alright, so honestly, these are all gifts from someone who is supposed to love you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and okay, yeah, thank you for all the birds and the women and men.

SPEAKER_04

So I complained to open eyes. Okay. I said, honestly, I would leave my true love if he gave me all of these things. There's too many birds and people. And what if he leaves me for one of the Milky Maids?

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That was my word. Milky maids. And OpenEyes said, that's a completely fair reaction. By day eight, your home has turned into a chaotic mix of livestock, strangers, dancers, aristocrats, musicians, and poultry, but no evidence of basic communication skills from your true love. So number one, here is the bird situation alone is a red flag.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Definitely.

SPEAKER_04

By modern standards, receiving 28 birds means you're basically being forced into running a bird sanctuary, a petting zoo, a meat medieval banquet hall, or some kind of chaotic aviary-based MLM scheme. What is that? Do you know? MLM scheme.

SPEAKER_03

It's not live mad libs, but if it was LML, then it would be like maybe they've uh uh screwed it up and meant that it's a live mad lib scheme.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe. So you're absolutely justified in questioning the relationship at this point.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Madlibs mmm.

SPEAKER_04

Matias.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, madlibs Matthews. Of course. That's how people know me.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

The maids of milking is a bigger red flag. Alright, so eight random women show up at your house ready to milk your cows, which you don't even own. Oh. And your true love didn't ask if you need a dairy staff.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_04

Didn't ask if you even drink milk.

SPEAKER_03

No, maybe you can't you don't you can't drink milk. No.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe you're What if you're lactose intolerant? That's what I was asking. Or you don't even have cows. They just came and they're like, We're here to milk your cows. And I'm like, I don't even have cows. And he didn't even clarify whether these maids are employees, volunteers, or a cult.

SPEAKER_03

Slaves.

SPEAKER_04

Right. You now have eight strangers living on your property. There is very little that screams, I respect boundaries here. And then the dancing ladies and leaping lords.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm. Okay, strippers. Right.

SPEAKER_04

And uh um male streep streepers. Streepers. Streepers. Strippers. Yeah. Okay, by this point the household population is increasing exponentially. Because you've got nine dancers, ten leaping lords, ten eleven pipers, and twelve drummers. So your true love is essentially starting a renaissance fair in your living room without your consent.

SPEAKER_03

And I'm thinking so many drummers. It's gonna be so loud.

SPEAKER_04

So loud. And the piping? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

And so what if he leaves me for one of the milking maids?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So let's be real here. Okay? If he is the type to send you 28 birds and 40 plus hired performers and eight dairy employees without checking whether you want any of this, then leaving you for a milking maid is honestly among the least chaotic possibilities. So the bigger question is why does he have the phone number of eight available milking maids in the first place?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

This is concerning. Also, the milking maids are probably too busy milking imaginary cows to date anyone.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. They're probably not milking the cows. Oh god. What I mean.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. Yeah, okay, so the real relationship insight. This gift giving style suggests he's performing a fantasy instead of listening to your actual needs. He's showing off rather than connecting. He's giving chaos instead of care. A truly loving partner gives things you want, things that make your life easier, and maybe a nice dinner out. Not eight live humans and a flock of honking geese. In other words, you have every right to leave him. Even the partridge agrees.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. In the tree. In the tree. Nailed to the tree.

SPEAKER_04

Nailed to the tree. So now we're going to write a breakup letter to my true love. Okay. We're ending this song.

SPEAKER_00

So it's not really the true love.

Why The Song Is Mostly Birds And What That Says

SPEAKER_04

He's not your true love. Because you didn't want any of this. No. And he doesn't care.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_04

He's just getting whatever he wants.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

A bunch of birds.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and say that it's for you.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So you're gonna be happy about it.

SPEAKER_04

He's just trying to cover up all the ladies with the birds and all the other people so he can run off with them.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, look at the birds.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, look at the birds. I got you birds. Why? I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_00

Flipping birds.

SPEAKER_04

Alright. Here is my breakup letter to my true love. Yeah. Okay? Okay. Dear true love, because that's his name.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I never got the chance to ask his name. But he's my true love.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I mean uh his first name is true. I think. Last name is Love.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. I've taken some time to reflect, ideally in silence, though your eleven Pipers made that part difficult. And I've realized I need to be honest with you. While I appreciate the spirit behind your gifts, the sheer volume of birds, performers, and dairy staff has turned my home into something between a medieval marketplace and a very confused zoo. I believe affection should arrive in forms that don't require extensive shoveling, noise cancelling tools, or zoning approvals. I value my space, my peace, and the ability to walk through my own living room without tripping over a swan. I need a relationship grounded in communication, not in escalating deliveries of livestock. I need gifts chosen with my comfort in mind. Not ones that make me question whether you're planning to relocate an entire village into my front yard. I'm setting a boundary now. I cannot continue a relationship where my needs are drowned out by drummers, overshadowed by leaping nobles, or threatened by the existential glare of a partridge. Please take care, and please take the geese with you. They know what they did. Warm regards, Lauren. That's me. Yeah. I broke up with him.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, okay. So I mean, I think it's for the best.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah. Cause he's just running off with the ladies.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And I have to take care of the birds. I don't want to do that. Some of them are scary.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. They flap a lot.

SPEAKER_04

Geese are scary. I'm terrified of geese. Yeah. I'm gonna be honest. They scare me.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. So were there any mite ducks?

SPEAKER_04

There were no ducks.

SPEAKER_03

No mighty ducks.

SPEAKER_04

There's hens and geese and pheasants. They're a lot smaller than ducks.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And other birds and blackbirds, maybe, at some point. Or collie birds. Whatever those are.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. But uh I I was just wondering if there were some mighty ducks or so.

SPEAKER_04

No.

SPEAKER_03

No reason why, but no?

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

What about a lethal weapon? Maybe you could get one of those.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe. And put it on my Christmas list.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I want. Lethal weapon.

SPEAKER_04

Now, for my last part of this segment, I would like To recite a poem.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay? This is my response to my Christmas gifts post 12 days of Christmas. Okay. Okay. On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent me a partridge loose in my pantry.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

Red Flags In Gift-Giving And Relationship Insight

SPEAKER_03

So you were gonna say in my pants. Loose in my pants.

SPEAKER_04

Partridge loose in my pants. I don't know how it got there, but that's where it ended up. So I called Animal Control, who asked, is it aggressive? I said, It's judging me with its entire soul. Please send help. On the second day of Christmas, two turtle dubs cooing like they're holding a union meeting. This time I called HR. They informed me that birds are not eligible for workplace mediation. On the third day of Christmas, three French hens arrived with attitudes sharp enough. Yeah. Sharp enough to cut tile. Animal control put me on hold forever.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

They didn't know French.

SPEAKER_04

No, I guess not. They couldn't compromise.

SPEAKER_03

They couldn't understand the birds.

SPEAKER_04

No. On the fourth day, four calling birds, calling everyone except me. HR asked me if I had tried setting expectations. I told them the birds had their own group chat.

SPEAKER_03

They maybe they didn't have your number?

SPEAKER_04

Maybe. On the fifth day, five gold rings. Finally, something that doesn't molt. I thanked my true love. It was short-lived.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Sixth day. Sixth day.

SPEAKER_03

Sixth.

SPEAKER_04

Sixth day.

SPEAKER_03

Sixth day.

SPEAKER_04

Sixth geese laying. My living room became an egg forward war zone. Animal control hung up after I uttered the word geese.

SPEAKER_03

So what do you have there? Oh, why don't you take a geese?

SPEAKER_04

Geese. Wow, that was a good one. Seventh day. Seven swans of swimming in my bathtub. HR suggested I redirect aquatic personnel to appropriate facilities. I redirected myself to a hotel.

SPEAKER_03

You barely have a bathtub.

SPEAKER_04

Right. Eighth day with eight maids of milking. Not cows, just the maids. Standing there, awaiting instruction. HR asked if I had filed a staffing request. I told them I had filed several, all desperate. Ninth day with nine ladies dancing. Beautiful, yes. But they knocked over my laundry rack and applauded.

SPEAKER_00

Aw, what the heck?

SPEAKER_04

Rude. Animal control said this was outside their perfume. And I agreed. Why am I calling Animal Patrol? Control Paw Patrol on ladies. Why am I calling Paw Patrol? Ten Lords Leaping on my couch. HR asked if they were contractors or full-time. And I asked them if they were serious.

SPEAKER_00

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_04

Are you serious? 11 Pipers Piping. Noise level? Jet engine wearing holiday cheer. I filed a noise complaint with HR, and they filed a noise complaint back at me.

SPEAKER_03

So you're noisy? Yeah. You're a loud American.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

According to them.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. 12 drummers drumming. Again, I'm calling animal control on them. On people. They referred me to cultural events and disturbances. That department referred me to therapy. So my summary of my disappointment. My true love has mistaken me for a festival venue, a wildlife refuge, and possibly a recruitment center for performing arts. I wanted connection, not crowd control. I wanted romance, not a lineup of sentient percussion. I am emotionally exhausted and physically surrounded by feathers. And I'd like to suggest gift alternatives for next year.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

A reclining spa dang, two coffee gift cards, three cozy blankets, four scent candles, five gold chocolates. Oh. Okay. Six plants thriving. Seven quiet evenings. Eight playlists curated. Nine books worth reading. Yes, please. Uh, eleven drawers completed. Oh my gosh. 12 uninterrupted naps.

SPEAKER_03

Sounds good.

SPEAKER_04

And that was that. Did you like it?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I liked it. Go ahead. And also a lethal weapon.

SPEAKER_04

And a lethal le an illegal w weapon. I can't even say that. So I hope you learned something.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I hope you found some entertainment in my 12 days breakdown.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

12 days of breakdowns.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Are you out of sips?

SPEAKER_03

I'm all out of sips.

SPEAKER_04

Alright.

SPEAKER_03

And that means we're all out of episode.

The Breakup Letter To “True Love”

SPEAKER_04

So as we actually reach the end of the episode, would you like to tell me what is currently ruining your life?

SPEAKER_03

I think uh I'm gonna go with uh being so tired.

SPEAKER_04

Your fatigue.

SPEAKER_03

My fatigue again. Yeah. I I can't come up with anything better. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I'm too tired for that.

SPEAKER_04

Alright.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah, that's good enough.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

What's ruining your life?

SPEAKER_04

Being required to rest when I want to move.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04

Due to injury. I uh want to heal, but I also uh want to um be productive.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Also, uh, I am increasingly I'm getting more stressed over everything.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04

Because deadlines are just coming quicker, and yeah. All all the things that I'm looking forward to are just coming closer and I'm freaking out.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'm also I I can uh join you in that one. Okay. Because uh I also feel like uh I have deadlines before coming event.

SPEAKER_04

Would you like to wrap this up?

SPEAKER_03

Let's wrap this up.

SPEAKER_04

Alright. I'm gonna start off by saying thank you for listening to the episode. I hope that you um got something out of it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And uh were entertained.

SPEAKER_02

Hopefully.

SPEAKER_04

And big thank you for or to those who joined us for our drunk Christmas karaoke live mad libs.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'm pretty sure it was really fun. Yeah. Usually is. And if you missed it, then I guess you gotta join us next year for Christmas karaoke. Otherwise, we're gonna have another one, another live Mad Libs, uh, on in January.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's every month, so every month. Yeah. So it's I'm not gonna say when.

SPEAKER_03

No, no. We don't know that yet.

SPEAKER_04

But it's in January.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

And you'll know.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's gonna be a Saturday in January.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_03

So that's all we know.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. That's that. We'll be back with another episode on Tuesday, in which we will tell you what is coming up that we are freaking out over.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah. And we're gonna go into some details. Maybe I mean Vague details, because I don't know. Deep details, but uh more details than we have uh said so far. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Okay, we'll be back next Tuesday. Thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04

Have a good life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And goodbye.

SPEAKER_03

Bye bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_04

Bye. Thank you for listening to the Roasty Toasty Ghosty Podcast.

SPEAKER_03

If you kinda liked our episode, follow us on the social medias. We are on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at Roasty Toasty Ghosty Pod.

SPEAKER_04

And Twitch at Roasty Toasty Ghosty Podcast, where we play live man libs every month.

SPEAKER_03

Consider supporting us on BuzzSprout, where you can find deleted content and our entire movie night lists.

SPEAKER_04

We hope you enjoyed this episode just as we enjoyed making it.

SPEAKER_03

And we'll be back with another one next Tuesday on a podcast provider near you.

SPEAKER_04

Goodbye, Matthias.

SPEAKER_03

Goodbye, Lauren.