#194: Cappuccino Worm

We time-travel through August 6, 1994 with box office hits, snack nostalgia, music, and fashion, then swing back to present-day life updates that somehow start with socks and end with chaos. Movie night brings Hubie Halloween and Splash to the table before we turn Cards Against Humanity prompts into interactive AI stories that get way too real and way too weird.
• revisiting 1994 movies and a weekend box office snapshot
• breaking down 90s diet culture and the low-fat carb era
• naming peak 1994 snacks like Lunchables and toaster strudels
• talking top songs and the grunge-to-mainstream fashion shift
• celebrating fun socks and the mystery of stolen socks
• sharing a Gothenburg getaway, boats, museums, and amusement park trauma
• reviewing Hubie Halloween and why it still lands
• reviewing Splash and the mermaid rom-com formula
• wishing for more “stupid” Tom Hanks comedies
• using Cards Against Humanity to generate branching AI stories
• ending with what’s ruining our lives this week
If you kinda liked our episode, follow us on the social medias. We are on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at Roasty Toasty Ghosty Pod. And Twitch at Roasty Toasty Ghostie Podcast, where we play live man lives every month. Consider supporting us on Buzzsproutes, where you can find deleted content and our entire movie night lists.

Transcript

Throwback To 1994 Pop Culture

SPEAKER_02 1:13

I pushed the button.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

94?

SPEAKER_02 1:15

94.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

194. Yeah. Let's see what we did on the 94th episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Best movie from 94. For a scump.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

I would say true lies.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Drunkenmaster 2, also a good one. But yeah, true lies.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Episode 94. We watched Shock Treatment.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Also, we uh did advice on how to avoid Friday the 13th superstitions.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

This was released on September 17th, 2024.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Was it just Shock Treatment we watched?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

What else?

SPEAKER_00 1:58

The Whole Nine Yards. Ah, okay. Yep. Yeah. Which was a football movie?

SPEAKER_02 2:04

No, not really.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Soccer movie?

SPEAKER_02 2:07

No. More like a gangster comedy with Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry. Perry.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

We also talked about watching Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Oh, okay. Yeah, I remember that.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

That's what we did. That's all. But today is August 6th, which is not a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

No, I guess not. Or is it?

SPEAKER_00 2:30

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

It's it sounds it's a day. Yeah, it sounds like it's a big deal when you say it like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

No, no, no, no, no. It's not a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Okay, okay, good.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

It is a day in which nothing happens.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Nothing at all.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

No. Okay, let's see if today is a special day. Hey, Google. Tell me about the history of August 6th, 1994. What happened today? Just a sec. You have no internet. Alright. On August 6th, 1994. Not 74. Uh several things happened at once, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Uh something about NASCAR. Wow. Cool. Uh political fallout in Cuba. Kuba.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

Kuba.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Kuba. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Swedish weather phenomenon. Here we go. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Cool then. Whoa, this is close to home. A famous ball lightning event occurred in Uppsana. Striking a residential house and leaving a distinct circular hole in a windowpane. Okay. We have lightning bolts. That's that's basically what happened this day in '94. Some big movies at the time, I guess. During this weekend. They were playing Clear and Present Danger.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Ah, Harrison Ford. Yep. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

The Little Rascals.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

I love that movie. And Airheads. Adam Sandler.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

And Steve Buscemi. Yeah. Mr. Ratman. Fun fact, I also have rats in my house.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Oh yeah. But not Steve Buscemi.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Could be.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

I bet they turn into Steve Buscemi at night.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Yeah.

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Run around the house.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

I guess it's a big rat.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Big rat. Uh. Top box office chart. Weekend of August 5th to the 7th in 94. Was clear and present danger to the mask.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Ah, the mask. Love it.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Uh. For Skump in his fifth week of dominance. As it should be. The Little Rascals. True Lies. The Client.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

The Lion King, original animated classic, not the remake.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

No, that.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Luckily. It could happen to you. Remakes. Uh no, no, it's a movie. It could happen to you. Not like someone could make a remake of your life.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Yeah, who knows? It could happen to you.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Angels in the Outfield. I saw that once. That's like the Babe Ruth movie or something.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

It's baseball related. Yeah, it's baseball, but I haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

There's dead people, I'm guessing.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

It's ghosts.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

In the outfield. Yeah. That's what it should be called. Ghosts in the outfield. Let's be honest here. They're not angels. No. Airheads.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

We've seen that one.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Okay. Yeah. We have.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

Yeah, we have.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Yeah, we have. Uh yeah.

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Where they take a radio station hostage.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Oh yeah. Bruce Willis, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:29

No. No? Adam Sandler.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Steve Bishemir.

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Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Brandon Fraser.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Not all movies have Bruce Willis in them. You're ruining my life.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

Yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Yeah, you should be.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

That's what happens.

The Weird Food Trends Of 1994

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Um, anything else we want to know about this specific day?

SPEAKER_02 5:51

Uh I don't know. Food. Okay, music.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

No, not music. Food.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

I'll get to music.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

What were people eating?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Please tell me. The food scene in mid-1994 sat at a fascinating intersection of 1990s comfort, suburban dining booms, and the height of early 90s diet crazes. Like the low fat and fat-free obsession.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Okay. You were one. One year old.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

One of the fat kids?

SPEAKER_02 6:24

You were one year old.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Okay. You were one of the fat kids.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Yeah, I was three of the fat kids.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

I ate three of them. In this day. Um they were making low fat or fat-free versions of nearly everything, replacing fat with sugar or additives. Like uh devil's food cookie cakes. Um, and the USDA food guide pyramid was introduced just two years prior in 1992. Um it heavily emphasized six to eleven daily servings of carbs, like carbs, making heavy carb loading with minimal fat the gold standard of healthy eating.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Carb problem.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

That's where the carb problem started. And then we all realized this is wrong. Something's not right here. No one is losing weight. Um, if you went to a restaurant in the summer of 1994, chances are your meal included sun-dried tomatoes, pesto, or goat cheese. Yum. Uh Caesar salad was a big deal. Okay. And uh it was a massive expansion year for chains like Olive Garden, popularizing the unlimited Bradsticks. Breadsticks. Breadsticks. And Starbucks, which was uh rapidly expanding outside Seattle. And making terms like latte and cappuccino, household worms words worldwide. Worms. Worms. Cappuccino worms. Uh snacks that were popular.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Lunchables. You don't know what a lunchable is.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

No.

unknown 8:16

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

I can't talk. You don't know what a lunchable is.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

No. I'm not aware.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

That's how I would say it if I said it normally.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

No, a lunchable is a pre-packaged cracker and cheese box. And it was a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Basically, it was a box with compartments. You had your crackers, you had your cheese, and then they had like a little snack and maybe a juice. Okay. Or like a capri sun soft.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

And that was your lunch. A lunchable. You take it to lunch. And then they made like pizza versions where they had like a little uh like ketchup packet filled with tomato sauce.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

And put it on your little cracker or bread.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

They had like cracker side bread pieces.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

Yeah, it was okay. So you get like the ingredients and just have to you did it, had to do it yourself.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

And like had the cheese and uh pepperoni.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Did you heat it?

SPEAKER_00 9:08

No.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

No.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

These are cold lunches.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Cold pizza.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Cold pizza. It was okay. Uh dunkaroos and toaster strudels.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Uh toaster strudels were a big deal, but I never got any. I got one. I've had one in my life. And it's basically a Pop Tart, but it's more pastry.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Like uh Vienna Brad. You know how it's so crumbly. Yeah. That's what it is. You stick it in like the microwave or the toaster and it comes up. And then you had a package of um like frosting, sugar frosting. And you over it. Okay. And then it's usually filled with like fruit comp compost compost.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Yeah, that's what I thought.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Fruit compost.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Yup.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

And cappuccino worms. It's a perfect breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah, they they had good snacks back then.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also mol mol molten lava in a box.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

I thought you said mold.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

Mold. Moldy lava in a cake. We were very creative back in the day. Um molten chocolate lava cake. Oh. It's basically cake with hot fudge in the middle. So when you cut it open, it flowed out. Oh, okay. Okay. So good.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Moldy lava chocolate cake, on the other hand, is not that good.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Okay. You tried it.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

I don't know what moldy lava is. Let's talk

1994 Music And Fashion Snapshot

SPEAKER_00 10:45

about music.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Um, let's see. Some of the top songs on this day. The number one was Stay, I missed you.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Um, Lisa Loeb. You know, in that 90s show, the song that was played, it was like towards the end of the second season. Okay. And the girl was like who sang the song was actually in the episode. That was her.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

I think.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Singing that song?

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Yeah. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Cool. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

I swear by All For One, which is not actually All For One who did this. It's a cover.

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Pretty sure. It's an RB ballad. Uh Fantastic Voyage by Coolio.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

I know Coolio because of Gangsta's Paradise, but that's it. Yeah. And that's because of Weird Owl.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Uh Don't Turn Around by Ace of Bass. Ah, okay. You should know that one.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

I know Ace of Bass.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

And Can You Feel the Love Tonight? Elton John.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

I know that too.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

That's basically it.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

This was August 6th, 1994.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

I wonder what the fashion was back then.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Let me pull up some pictures of me.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

When you were one.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

When I was one. I wore clothes back then. Yes. Back me on.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Back me out.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Uh grunge goes everyday casual in fashion. Because of Kurt Cobain. He passed away early the early year. Earlier that spring.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

Oh, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

And so everyone was wearing flannel and plaid. Uh hip-hop wear, sagging, and ultra-wide legs. Basically how they dress now. Um people had their hair like Leon Leonardo DiCaprio. I know his name.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

Really?

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Yeah, like uh m parted in the middle, and like off to the side like curtain.

SPEAKER_03 12:44

Huh. Before Titanic? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Yeah. Like Leonardo DiCaprio or Brad Pitt.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

And women were wearing brown makeup. Oh. People were trying to look effortless, slightly disheveled. Disheveled?

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Disheveled.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Disheveled. And deliberately undone. So me on a daily basis. Huh. I dress like I'm in 94.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Yeah. I'm a mess. Yeah, I'm also a mess. I don't try to be anything else. I'm myself. You know.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Alright, let's open this up.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Yeah.

Meet The Hosts And Sock Joy

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Hello and welcome to Roasty Toasty Ghosty. My name is Matias.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

I'm Lauren.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

And we're gonna be your besties for an hour hour or so.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Yeah. This is the podcast where you learn nothing at all.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Probably.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

How are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 13:45

I'm doing well.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Cool.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Yeah, I'm good. I'm happy.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

You're happy?

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Yeah, I think I got socks.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

It really made me happy. I really like these socks.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Good.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

And uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I also got fun socks.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Last weekend.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Yeah, how are you, by the way?

SPEAKER_00 14:03

I'm also good.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Good. Okay, tell me about your socks.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

They are cake socks. I have butter socks and cake socks now.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Yeah, okay. I also bought socks last weekend.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

They're not cake socks.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

No, popcorn socks and Coca-Cola socks.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Okay. Very cool.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

I was happy about them too.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Good. It's good with socks.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I'm so happy about socks.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

You are so lucky you don't have someone who steals your socks all the time.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Unless I come over and start taking socks.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Because someone's stealing my socks, so I need to replenish my socks with other people's socks.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Yeah. I won't let you in then if that's what you're that's what you're after. My socks.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Then I guess you're never watching Netflix ever again.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

Probably not.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

You have no one to log into my account. That sucks, doesn't it? Okay.

Gothenburg Getaway And Amusement Park Fails

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Last weekend I went to Gothenburg.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

Oh yeah, you did?

SPEAKER_00 15:08

I did. I had a getaway with my life partner. The two of us, we stayed in the hotel and we got to ride the boats. And and we had candy and ice cream and chips.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Okay. Ride the boats.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

There was a ferry dock right outside of the hotel. And the best way was to take the ferry, or the best way to get to the town, to Central, Centrum, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

You took the ferry boat.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

And it was fun. It was really nice.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

And I drank a lot of alcohol.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

And we hung out with his friend a little bit. And we went to Lisa Betty, the amusement park. And I got to listen to the mmm Branman Gabana.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Okay. Yeah. Bransta City. Sushi. Yeah. No. Bransta City Sleckish.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Yeah. They were on Menodi Festivalen.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

And I got to see them from afar.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Yeah, they're fun. I like them.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Also, my life partner forced me to go on a Paris wheel.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Oh, okay. Oh, I want to go on a Paris wheel.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

I didn't like it. Did not like it. I didn't like it. You know, you go up here and oh my god, we're so high up. And then suddenly I'm going backwards, downwards, and it's like freaking out. Like this curve right here going backwards and down. It was not good. I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Nope. I want to call it a Paris wheel.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

You can go by yourself. I'm not going to.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yeah, but I never get to a Paris wheel.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

No, there's no Paris wheels.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

No.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

There's just the one.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Yeah. And I didn't like they didn't have one in uh in the States even.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

No. I wonder if they have one in Paris. Why is it called a Paris wheel?

SPEAKER_02 17:06

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Is it from Paris?

SPEAKER_02 17:09

No, I don't think so. I think it's probably Paris Wheel and someone misheard someone and like, okay, you said Paris. I know Paris. Okay, so it's a Paris wheel.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Paris wheel. Well, I didn't like it. Also, my life partner lost his hat. Uh not from the Paris wheel, but the first ride we went on at this amusement park.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

It was a train.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

A train.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

A train ride. Okay. And you know, there's nothing that really says this is a dangerous ride. Please take your bags with you and stuff. Or no, the the signs did say please take your bags with you. Okay. So usually that would mean, this isn't that bad. No, I'm not sure. I mean, if I can take my stuff with me, it's a safe ride.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

It wasn't a safe ride.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

He had his hat on and it flew away. And then it was gone.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

And I I tried so hard to find it afterwards and we never found it. It w it's gone. It's gone forever. Which is kind of funny. But um, and I had my bag of candy with me. And I was thinking, oh well, this must be a nice train right. I'm just gonna eat my candy and enjoy this.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

But we were going upwards, and I know what happens when you're going upwards on these rides. That means that there's a downwards as well. So I'm like, I'm just gonna put this away. Yeah. I don't know what's going on, but I don't like it.

SPEAKER_06 18:35

No.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

And I'm glad that I did because I would have definitely spilled my candy all over the place. Then I'd be a really sad person. Um, yeah. So it was it was faster and uh scarier than we expected, and neither of us were happy afterwards. But yeah, um we went to amusement park pretty much by ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

It was pretty fun.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Yeah. I mean, I I wasn't at uh an amusement park, but that was like last week or Yeah. Yeah. I remember I I went to the love tunnel by myself.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Yeah, I've never even done that one. Was it fun?

SPEAKER_02 19:16

I mean, it was okay. It was uh you awkward. No, it's uh fine. I uh I'm a lonely guy. It's uh it's fine. It was okay. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Then we got back on Monday. Haven't really done that much since. I mean, while I was out there, my oldest called me and he's like, Mom, I ripped my new pants, pretty much. I was like, I don't know what to do for you.

SPEAKER_06 19:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

I'm all the way out here. So yesterday we went out and got him a new pair of pants.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

Yep. And then he kicked me out of the city, sent me home, and he stayed there with his friends. Okay. Like, you can go now. Like, uh, okay. Yeah, that was pretty much my week.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Because today's Thursday.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Yeah. And uh last weekend I went to a place that reminds of the old tiny Chinese palace.

SPEAKER_06 20:16

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

Yeah. It kind of reminds me of the Forbidden City in the movies, you know, like Shanghai Noon.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Yeah. It it was pretty cool to look at the like statues and stuff like that. I liked it. Yeah, cool. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That was the most interesting thing we did on that trip.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Okay. Oh yeah. In Gothenburg, we went to a museum as well.

SPEAKER_06 20:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Which was really cool. It had like sharks and stuff. And there was one area which was like a rainforest, which was really cool. But it was really warm. And like there was a space section and a human body section and like a food section. And a whole bunch of like different science things. It was really cool. Okay. And we also went to the Hard Rock Cafe, which made me happy.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Yeah, we've been there.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Yeah. In Orlando.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Yeah. I got a hurricane and I got a glass and I got a shirt.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Got a hurricane?

SPEAKER_00 21:17

It's the name of the drink.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

It had a cherry on top.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

It was the best part. That's all.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

That's all I have.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

Yeah, I don't think I have anything else either. So

Hubie Halloween Review And Favorite Bits

SPEAKER_02 21:28

yeah. So now it's Thursday.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

It is Thursday. It is still August 6th, 2026. Huh. And we watch movies. We had a movie day. Would you like the movie on?

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Yeah, let's movie on.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Okay. Uh we watched Hubie Halloween and Splash.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

And since we started with Hubie's Halloween, you can tell me all about it.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

This is a movie starring Adam Sandler. He plays Hubie Dubois. Yeah. And uh he Is bullied by everyone except for his mother, basically.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

And that one girl.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Yeah, that one girl and her kids, they're they're pretty nice too. Everyone else bullies him. Everyone throws things at him.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Every time he goes out, something gets thrown at him.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Yeah. This takes place at Halloween, and people start disappearing.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

It's a mystery.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

It's a mystery. And also his neighbor, Steve Bascemi, he is also he is also kinda nice at the begin beginning, you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Yeah, well, I mean, he never hurt anyone.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

No, he and he's not a bully. No. He's weird, but he's not a bully.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

And he's like aware that he's capable of hurting people and he doesn't want to.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

No, exactly. So he's a good guy. Anyways, people disappear. Like you said, it's a mystery. I don't know what else is it to this movie, or what else happens?

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Rob Schneider ran away from the mental institution to save Steve Buscemi. Bring him back.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Or it was some kind of werewolf institution.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Yeah. Everyone is in this movie as well.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Kevin James was there. And Maya Rudolph and Tim Meadows. Tim Meadows.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

A lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 23:20

Yeah. Lots of people. I've seen this movie before.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Yeah. What did you think about it?

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Um, I like this movie. I've seen it maybe a couple times.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

And I enjoy it warning to the people out there that it's another stupid character for Adam Sandler.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Yeah, and he does that stupid voice that he does.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

But it's still a good movie.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

Yeah, I laughed several times. I thought it was really funny. Yeah, it was the first time for me. So you know, sometimes that happens when you see a movie and I haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

It doesn't happen that often.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Not often, but sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

It happened this one time.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

This was probably the first time.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Uh Rocky Horror.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Yeah. No, we've seen it several times.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Yeah, I liked it. It was fun. Uh, I had a good time.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

Good.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Do you have anything else to say about the movie?

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Uh nope.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

No.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

It's a good movie.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

It is.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Shaquille O'Neal.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Is in the movie. Yeah. Uh anyhow.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

Next

Splash Review And Tom Hanks Talk

SPEAKER_02 24:24

movie.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Okay. Splash. Splash. Tom Hanks movie. He finds a mermaid and his brother is John Candy.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

And there's a crazy scientist who also wants the mermaid. But yeah, they fall in love and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

And Tom Hanks and the mermaid. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happened. Yes. Yeah. She's a she's a human. Yeah. She's in human form. But she's actually a mermaid. Yeah. Because I guess that's what happens when they dry out. I guess so. They get legs.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

I thought you would say they get laid.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

They get laid. Legs?

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

And laid.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

I guess a lot.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Yeah. You never see it though. It's implied. It's implied, but you never really see it.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

I tried looking, but I didn't see anything.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

No. And it's quite clear that she's wearing a bodysuit the whole time when she's supposed to be naked.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Yeah. John Candy's speaking Swedish in this one.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

He does.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

I don't know. Uh the there's a couple of guys who are supposed to be Swedish, but they have such a weird dialect. I don't think they're actually Swedish.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

No. He says he's half Swedish.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

So Oh, okay. And then has to prove it by saying something in Swedish.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

And then John Candy responds in his Swedish. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

Yeah. It wasn't perfect, but uh it was yeah. I mean, uh I understood what he said.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02 25:58

It was um it kind of felt like he could have done another take on it though. Because he kind of stumbled in the middle there. Uh but um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

He probably did and it didn't get better. No, so they they took the best one.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Yeah. Or maybe like no one else knew Swedish, and they're like, that's probably fine. No Swedes are gonna see this movie.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:23

Little did they know.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Here we are.

SPEAKER_02 26:25

What did you think about this movie?

SPEAKER_00 26:27

What year was this movie?

SPEAKER_02 26:28

84.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

84. Not 94.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

No.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

It feels like it could be intended for kids. Except for the naked lady.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

And imply six.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Yeah. Except for that part.

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

But it's probably just implied so that kids could also watch it.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Yeah. But I liked it.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

It was fun. I feel like there's other movies that are very similar to this. Other than The Little Mermaid.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

I know a couple other mermaid movies.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

And Tom Hanks saying Zippidi Doo-Down and this one, which is from a Disney movie.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

A very, very old Disney movie that isn't even on Disney Plus.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

No. It's not allowed.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

It's not allowed because it's racist?

SPEAKER_02 27:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

I want to see this movie.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Can you fix that? Is it on the list? Because I really hope it is.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

It's not on the list, but I can try to fix it.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Yeah, I want it on the list. Because I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

No.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

But now I want to. Yeah. Just to see why it's so bad.

SPEAKER_03 27:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

For um research purposes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's all.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

Yeah, I mean, I really like this movie. It's definitely one of my favorite Tom Hanks movies.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

I know my favorite.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Okay. Um I'm not gonna tell you. I can guess.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

No, don't even guess. I'm not gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

It's made 10 years later.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

So what about it?

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Yeah. I feel that. Yeah, okay. Yeah. That's for another episode.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Your feelings? Yeah, my. Or not for today. No. That's for next episode.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

200.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Tell me Tell me next week how you feel.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

200 will be the feelings episode.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Oh gross. Let's not talk about feelings.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

No, okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

What do you feel?

SPEAKER_02 28:23

After Tom Hanks won his Oscars, he won two of them. He hasn't done much comedy. At least the stupid comedies that he made in the 80s that I love so much. I missed that Tom Hanks. I want him to make stupid movies again. Yeah, every funny movie. Yeah. I mean, you can uh mix it up a little. Not just trying to aim for Oscars every time, you know.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Those are the good money, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

I guess, but he won twice.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

Yeah. And uh what's what's so bad about a third time?

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Well, he it he hasn't succeeded yet. And uh, you know, why why not uh go for the comedy money? I mean, I'm sure that must have made some money.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

Not as much.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

I would assume that a comedy makes more money than a drama. Unless you win an Oscar, because that's but I mean that doesn't you they still get the money.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

I guess.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

It's not like they don't get money, because yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

I don't know how it works. I want him to make more comedy movies.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Okay. Uh do you wanna take a break?

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Yeah, let's take a break.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Alright, we will be right back. Yes.

Cards Against Humanity Meets AI Stories

SPEAKER_00 29:57

And go.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

Hello.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

Yes. Hello?

SPEAKER_00 30:00

We're back.

SPEAKER_02 30:01

We are back.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

Okay, Matthias. I'm gonna tell you something.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

I had so much fun last week with our interactive bedtime story.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

That I want to play cards against humanity. I team.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

And open eyes.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

We've played this game before. It is our beloved Thanksgiving game.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

After a few drinks and a bunch of loud Americans who like to be loud. Yeah. And we all think we're so funny.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Okay, so what I'm thinking, what we'll do is that uh the black cards have the situations. Yeah. And then the white cards have the suggestions to fill in the blanks. So we're gonna pull a black card and then three white cards.

SPEAKER_06 30:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

And we'll pick the best one and make open eyes create an interactive story out of that.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

For example, we'll do a test run here and see what happens.

SPEAKER_03 30:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

I pulled up a black card that says finally a service that delivers blank right to your door. And then my white card is dead parents. Yeah. This is fun. So I'm gonna put in open eyes. I'm just gonna write interactive story and then story time.

SPEAKER_06 31:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

Finally, a service that delivers dead parents.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

Right to your door.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Right to your door.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

Sounds like a good service. If you ever need one.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

Yeah. I could use one of those.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

Yeah, yeah. Not me yet.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

No.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

Not yet.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Lucky you.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Alright. Interactive story time. The prompt is finally a service that delivers dead parents right to your door. Here we go. A crisp knock echoes through the hallway. A cheerful voice rings out from the other side of the door. Good afternoon. Special delivery from Family Fulfill. Signature required. You open the door. On the porch sits an enormous gift box wrapped in pastel paper. A bright yellow bow is tied into the shape of a heart. A sticker reads, Congratulations on your parent replacement experience. Another sticker hastily slapped over the first reads, or restoration depends on the inventory.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

The delivery driver consults a handheld scanner. Let's see. One package addressed to you, marked fragile, emotionally complicated, and keep upright standard. He nudged the box with his boot. Something inside coughs. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Wait, what?

unknown 32:45

I guess.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

From the street, your nosy neighbor peeks over the hedge. You order furniture? The driver shrugs. Happens all the time. Last week somebody got three uncles and a very judgmental grandmother. He hands you a digital stylus. So you opening it here? I can't read. You opening it here? Or are we pretending this isn't the weirdest thing either of us have done today? Uh so what are we gonna do? Sign immediately and open the box. Ask the driver what restoration depends on inventory actually means. Refuse delivery and hope whatever's inside isn't charged by the hour. Quietly ask your neighbor if they ordered any parents by mistake. Or something completely different.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

Hmm. So you don't know.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

We don't really know what's in this box.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

That's weird. Yeah, okay. What would you go with?

SPEAKER_00 33:41

I would like to do the first one and sign immediately and open the box.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

I'm I'm feeling like is this gonna be like uh taxidermy or what what is it?

SPEAKER_00 33:52

I don't know. It kind of sounds like that. Yeah. Okay. You scribbled your signature. The scanner chirps. Delivery confirmed. The driver smiles with the exhausted confidence of someone who has seen far stranger Tuesdays. Excellent. Company policies says I'm required to witness the unboxing unless the package starts giving legal advice. The package the package starts giving legal advice. Okay. Has that happened? He stares into the middle distance twice. Okay. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

So staring at like In the distance. In the distance and then stop and then start again?

SPEAKER_00 34:34

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Stare twice.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

No, no, this he responds twice. Oh, okay. This has happened twice.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Um, which tells me that they're not always dead.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Okay. No.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

You tug the ribbon, the bow unties itself. The lid pops open with an enthusiastic flump. Packing peanuts burst into the air like celebratory confetti. Inside is another box, a much smaller one. Its label reads Parent Starter Kit.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Okay, so you can restart them.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

I guess.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Assembly may require patience, communication, and several shared meals. You blink. That's unexpectedly wholesome. The driver nods. Marketing wanted realism. Finance wanted cheaper shipping.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Is this box for Frankenstein?

SPEAKER_00 35:27

I think so. You lift the lid. Inside are two steaming mugs labeled Let's Talk. A ridiculously thick instruction manual titled Nobody Knows What They're Doing. I like that one. A photo album with every page blank except the first, which says, Some families begin with memories, others begin by making them. A tiny houseplant wearing a paper name tag, an emotional support fern, and at the bottom, an envelope. Across the front, in careful handwriting, open only if you're ready. The room suddenly feels much quieter. Even your neighbor has stopped pretending to trim the hedge. They're spying on me. Yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

I feel like the burbs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

Yeah. Everyone's standing there staring at my box of dead parents. Yeah. The driver checks his watch. Well, he says, this is usually the point where the story branches.

SPEAKER_06 36:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Fourth wall here. What do you do? Do you open the envelope, read the instruction manual first, inspect the mysterious emotional support firm? Ask the driver who sent the package or something else.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Or was the first option?

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Open the envelope. I want to ask him where my parents are.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Did they forget about the dead parents?

SPEAKER_00 36:53

I think so. Because this box feels like it's filled with other things.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

Ask the driver where my parents are. You lower the envelope. Quick question. The driver pauses halfway through climbing back into the van. Sure. You say, I ordered the parents. He checks his scanner. Yep. No, I mean, where are they? He squints at the screen, scrolling with one finger. Hmm. Right. He clears his throat. So there are actually three delivery tiers. He counts on his fingers. Tier 1, parent. Tier 2, parents who have read the manual. And tier 3, parents who can assemble flat pack furniture without arguing. Tier 3 has a waiting list of several decades. You fold your arms. So which tier did I get? He turns the scanner around. Across the display flashes a single line. A very long single line. Okay. Delivery status. Your parents are attempting to find the house. GPS has failed after receiving directions such as turn left at the big tree. ETA 12 minutes. Right on cue. That was the whole line.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

Right on cue, a tiny hatchback crawls past your house for the third time. The driver points. That might be them. My dead parents are driving a car. The car slows, the window rolls down. A confused voice calls, Excuse me, is this Maple Street? You glance at the street sign. It clearly says Maple Street. The voice continues, Because we've somehow ended up on Maple Street.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Very confused people.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Why are you asking if you know what where you're going to be?

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

The driver nods knowingly. Classic parent navigation. The hatchback circles the block once more, somehow becoming less oriented with each lap. The scanner beeps again. Update. Parents have stopped to ask someone for directions. The person they asked is also lost.

unknown 38:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

So they have an ETA of 18 minutes now. The driver sighs. Yep, that's within normal operating parameters. Just then the emotional support fern rustles in its pot. A tiny tag unfolds beneath its leaves. Tip. Offer them tea when they arrive. It won't help them find the house, but it'll improve morale. Alright. Okay. Well, that was really weird. So let's do another one. My card says, This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for which one are you going for?

SPEAKER_01 39:29

Me.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

A sad fat dragon with no friends. Alright, story time. This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a sad fat dragon with no friends. Okay, the cabin speakers crackle to life. Good evening, passengers. This is your captain speaking. We'll be cruising at 37,000 feet with clear skies, a slight tailwind, and regrettably, one profoundly lonely dragon. A polite murmur ripples through the cabin. Sorry, what? The captain continues as though reading from a checklist. Seatfelt fastened, click, tray table stowed, click, existential melancholy. Present. Off the port side, floating among cotton white clouds, is a dragon. He is magnificently round. Not fearsome mountain of muscle. Round. More if you rolled him downhill, he'd politely apologize to every tree. Kind of round.

SPEAKER_06 40:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

His wings flap with heroic determination, producing approximately enough lift to keep his self-esteem airborne. I'm thinking of Pete's Dragon.

SPEAKER_03 40:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

Have you seen that one?

SPEAKER_03 40:37

No.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Me neither. But I've seen the cover, and he's a really big dragon.

unknown 40:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

Yeah, I kinda think about, you know, the in uh bug's life, the fat uh caterpillar with the small wings.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

Butterfly wings.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

I'm a beautiful butterfly. A little sign hangs from the dragon's neck. Hello, my name is Gerald. I brought snacks in case anyone wanted to hang out. The snacks are untouched. It's a sad, sad attempt to make friends.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Yeah. He can warm them, I guess. Heat them up a bit. S'mores. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:15

Gerald gives the airplane a hopeful wave. Hundreds of passengers wave back. Gerald's face lights up for exactly three seconds. Then he notices they're flying away. His smile folds itself into a quiet sigh. The captain returns. As many of you have noticed, that's Gerald. We see him every Thursday. A flight attendant raises an eyebrow. Have have we ever talked to him? The captain freezes. The cockpit falls silent. You know? I don't think we have. The first officer slowly turns. We've been flying this route for oh for twelve years.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 41:53

I think they've landed in between. But like they've been going back and forth for twelve years, not they've been flying for twelve years. This is the longest flight ever. Yes. And every Thursday, there's a lonely dragon. Yes.

SPEAKER_06 42:10

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

And we've just been waving, apparently. A child presses her face against the window. Can we invite him over? The cabin goes still. The captain's microphone clicks on one last time. Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to make what aviation textbooks refer to as a highly unconventional decision. A new chime echoes through the aircraft. Ding! New announcement. Cabin crew prepare for an emotional support holding pattern. Outside, the airplane begins a slow, graceful circle instead of disappearing into the horizon. Gerald blinks, then blinks again. The giant aircraft isn't leaving. It's waiting. How? We just stopped in the middle of the air.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

I guess so. I guess so. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 42:59

I've seen that in movies, like the hot shots.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

I guess so. For the first time in a very long while, the dragon's lonely wave becomes a tentative smile that doesn't vanish after three seconds. Sometimes friendship begins not with a grand speech, but with someone choosing not to fly past. Okay. No options here. So next.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

That was fun. Okay, here's my next one. Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, we called you in because we're concerned about Cynthia. Are you aware that your daughter is Robert Downey Jr.? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Not fun when you have to have those talks to parents.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Okay. Alright. The school counselor folded their hands with the solemn gravity usually reserved for meteor strikes and PTA bake sale controversies. Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, thank you for coming. The parents exchanged worried glas glances. Is Cynthia okay? The counselor inhaled deeply. Physically, yes. Academically? Mostly. Socially? That's where things become difficult. Mrs. Diaz leaned forward. Please, just tell us. The counselor thick. The counselor was thick.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

A fat dragon.

SPEAKER_00 44:18

A big fat dragon. The counselor slid a thick folder across the desk. On the tab, confidential. Student Cynthia Diaz. Inside was a stack of photographs. In one, Cynthia stood on the playground wearing glasses, uh, sunglasses indoors, pointing dramatically at absolutely nothing. In another, she'd somehow convinced 12 classmates to applaud after she answered attendance. The counselor continued. Are you aware that your daughter is Robert Downey Jr.

SPEAKER_01 44:53

Very specific?

SPEAKER_00 44:57

Silence. Mr. Diaz blinked. I'm sorry. How would they not know?

SPEAKER_01 45:05

Okay. How? How is it possible?

SPEAKER_00 45:08

When did this happen? The counselor flipped the next page. Monday. A grainy cafeteria ske security photo. A lunch lady asks if Cynthia wants mashed potatoes. You can get this all from the picture, I guess.

SPEAKER_06 45:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Instead of answering, Cynthia removes a pair of tinted sunglasses from nowhere, puts them on, and says, I do enjoy carbohydrates. They're very committed to the role. Nobody knows what that means. She received extra mashed potatoes. How does that make her Robert?

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Yeah, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

Okay, okay, okay. Another page, Tuesday, science class. I mean, if you recognize a reference, please let me know.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Yeah, I mean, wouldn't uh it say like your your daughter is a diva or something? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 45:58

But if if I don't catch something, please let me know.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

Okay, if I catch it, maybe I'll another page, Tuesday, science class.

SPEAKER_00 46:05

The teacher asks for a volunteer. Before anyone else can move, Cynthia stands. I'll handle this with her man voice. Yeah, I'll handle this. She successfully demonstrates static electricity. Somehow it ends with everyone clapping. How does that make you Robert Downey Jr.? I don't get it. Another page. Wednesday. During dodgeball, Cynthia catches three balls simultaneously. She bows. A seventh grader whispers, I think she's famous. She's not. Yet somehow everyone believes it for the rest of recess. Mrs. Diaz rubbed her temples. She's been watching a lot of movies lately.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

Robert Downey Jr.

SPEAKER_00 46:48

I guess so. Isn't he a superhero?

SPEAKER_02 46:50

Yeah, Iron Man.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Iron Man. Is she Iron Man? The counselor nodded. We suspected that. He produced the final piece of evidence. A permission slipped. Permission slipped. Whoops. My permission slipped. A permission slip. Signed, not Cynthia Diaz. Instead, in elegant looping handwriting, regards Robert Towney Jr.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Okay, now that's that's the proof we needed.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

Okay, Mr. Diaz squinted. That's obviously not his signature. We know. Then why is this in the evidence folder? The counselor sighed. Because when I pointed that out, your daughter leaned back in her chair, smiled confidently, and said, Exactly. That proves I'm undercover. Cynthia has identity issues. Yeah. A long silence settled over the room. Finally, the principal quietly opened the office door. Sorry to interrupt. What's wrong? The principal glanced nervously down the hallway. There's a limousine outside. And it pulled up five minutes ago. And the driver came into the office. And he asked if Miss Diaz was ready for her afternoon meeting with the Avengers. The counselor frowned. That's ridiculous. I know. So why is every student in the building now standing out the windows? Okay, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:20

One more. One more.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

Okay, one more.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

One more. A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with going around punching people. Alright. A successful interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with going around punching people. The conference room doors swing open. The candidate walks in wearing a perfectly pressed suit, carrying a folder, and radiating this confidence of someone who has watched exactly one motivational video and decided they are now unstoppable. The interview stands. Welcome, the interview stands. The interviewer stands. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

The interview itself stands up.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Everything starts getting up. Welcome, let's begin. They exchange a firm handshake. Thank! I don't know what that is. There's a thonk, very heavy handshake.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

It's a thonk. It's a thunk handshake.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

Uh the interview uh got up and then the handshake went down.

unknown 49:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:28

Uh the sound echoes. The interviewer looks down. Was that necessary?

unknown 49:38

What?

SPEAKER_00 49:40

Why why did you have to bring the handshake all the way down to the floor? The candidate smiles. Absolutely. First impressions matter. A tense silence. The interviewer slowly sits back down. Your resume says you have five years of leadership experience? Correct! And your references? Very positive. Good! So why does your previous manager's review say? The interviewer reads, a memorable employee. Unfortunately, memorably chaotic. The candidate nods. I bring energy. Your coworkers said you once entered the office and announced the era the era of boring meetings is over. True. They also said you then went around punching people. The candidate raises a finger. Correction. Networking. You see, I believe every successful interview begins with a firm handshake. The candidate stands. And ends with going around punching people. Oh my god. The interviewer hits a button under the desk. A security guard enters. Everything okay? The interviewer points This person. This person thinks punching is a networking strategy. The candidate looks offended. Not just punching.

SPEAKER_01 51:06

Oh my god, what's gonna happen? That she does the first step.

SPEAKER_00 51:13

They open their folder. Inside is a detailed chart titled Relationship Building Through Controlled Fist-Based Introductions. The security guard reads it. Step one, handshake. Step two, punch. Step three, remember everyone's names because they are now unforgettable. The interviewer rubs their forehead. I have one question. Go ahead. Did you actually get hired anywhere with this method? The candidate grins. I was gonna say grits, but it says grins.

SPEAKER_06 51:48

Grins?

SPEAKER_00 51:49

Of course. Where? The candidate points proudly to the company logo on their resume. The interviewer squints. Wait, that's not a company. That's a boxing gym. The candidate nods. Exactly. The interviewer sighs. So this is not an interview. No. It's a challenge? No. No. No. No. The candidate pulls out a tiny bell. It's a team building exercise. The security guard quietly steps backward. He's freaked out now.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

Yeah, he's lighter. What am I doing?

SPEAKER_00 52:28

What's going on? What should I do? The interviewer reaches for the phone. The candidate offers a hand. One last chance. To shake? To build connection.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

Ouch! Oh, you don't have to punch me.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

The interviewer stares at the hand. How hard is the handshake? The candidate smiles. Depends. On what? Whether you want the premium package. Whoa. I don't know where this is going, but yeah. Okay. Alright. That was that.

SPEAKER_02 53:00

That turned violence. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:03

That

What’s Ruining Our Lives And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 53:04

was that.

SPEAKER_02 53:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

It feels pretty good, right?

SPEAKER_02 53:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

It was a fun game. Alright, well, while we're reaching the end of the episode, please tell me what is ruining your life. What is pick a card?

SPEAKER_02 53:16

What?

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Pick a card. What is ruining your life?

SPEAKER_02 53:18

Yeah, okay. My collection of Japanese sex toys.

SPEAKER_00 53:23

That is a problem.

unknown 53:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:25

Alright. I'm gonna tell you what's ruining my life. The devil himself.

SPEAKER_01 53:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:30

My oldest child.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

Your oldest.

SPEAKER_00 53:33

Yep. He is the devil at this point. Pretty much all of my children. Cool. That sounds good. Are you all out of sips? So am I. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

And that means we're all out of episode.

SPEAKER_00 53:43

Episodes? Let's wrap this up.

SPEAKER_01 53:46

And I see your lips moving as I speak.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

No! Thank you for listening to this episode. It was a lot of fun. We'll be back next Tuesday. Follow us. Yeah, okay. Have a good life.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

Yeah, bye bye.

SPEAKER_00 53:56

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 53:57

Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_00 53:58

Thank you for listening to the Roasty Toasty Ghosty Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

If you kinda liked our episode, follow us on the social medias. We are on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at Roasty Toasty Ghosty Pod.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

And Twitch at Roasty Toasty Ghostie Podcast, where we play live man lives every month.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Consider supporting us on Buzzsproutes, where you can find deleted content and our entire movie night lists.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

We hope you enjoyed this episode just as we enjoyed making it.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

And we'll be back with another one next Tuesday on a podcast provider near you.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

Goodbye, Matthias.

SPEAKER_02 54:35

Goodbye, Lauren.